Knotted

In my kindergarten class, we were given a paper cutout of a shoe that had a big red shoelace attached to it. Our lesson was to learn how to tie our shoes. I think I struggled to do it for several days? We had to pick the lesson up each day and practice on the lace until we were able to tie it properly. I remember for years after kindergarten having this red shoelace. It wasn’t attached to the paper cutout anymore, so I would just tie the lace in knots. You probably know how it is when you tie things in knots? Sometimes you really have to pry, and work at them to undo them.
I’ve tied many knots over the years. I’ve tied knots in relationships, in habits, in thoughts, in choices and behaviors. Some knots have been very beneficial. For instance, tying the knot with my wife was something that I frequently go back and tighten, making sure the knot is secure. Tying the knot with my faith is also something that I make sure is secure as well. Both are very beneficial.
We have many choices when it comes to tying things. We choose what we use to tie them, and how. I love to fish, and when my boat is in the middle of a lake, my anchor is secured with a very strong nylon rope, with very secure knots at both ends. I sure wouldn’t choose some twine to anchor my boat, with a couple of loose knots. I wouldn’t be able to stay in one place for very long. If I find a good spot to fish, I want my boat to be secure while I’m awaiting the catch.
So there are beneficial knots that I have tied. But how troubling it is to take a look at the double or triple-knotted, non-beneficial things in my life. I’ve tied these harmful knots in my behaviors, which I have learned are “learned behaviors”, very tightly. Within me, are these habits of overthinking, dwelling, and staying mad for way too long. The learned behaviors have been tied, knotted, knotted over and over again, and are so balled up in knots, that it is taking many days of working at the knots to untie them. How painful it is, as well as relieving. One knot is undone, which is satisfying, but then I look at the rest of the knotted mess! Many times there are points that I feel like the work will never end, but the more knots that I undo, the more gratifying it is. The patience and endurance grows. The knots are getting easier to undo.
In many aspects of the “knots” I have, they were of my own choosing. My ignorance played a big part, my curiosity, and in a lot of ways, my choice to blame it on someone else, but really it was all a choice I had made. I chose to overthink. I chose to dwell for too long. I chose not to try a different avenue in my approach, and I chose not to take a look at the information, or help that I needed to make a better choice. I chose to blame another for the way that I was. I chose not to take on fruitful changes, because of fear.
When you realize that many of the knots in your lace are there because you have chosen to put them there, you start thinking about how hard it will be to undo them. If you step back and think about all of the knots that you’ve tied over the years, and just how harmful some of them were, you leave the lace alone and quit tying the same knots. Maybe? Some folks keep picking the lace up, and just keep on tying.
Habits are very hard to break, but they can be broken. I have battled many, and I am here to glorify Jesus who makes all things possible. You need Him. He is the core strength in my ability to keep on undoing the destructive, tightened knots within my life. But that is also a choice. In our free-will, we get to choose God through His Son, or reject Him. I am telling you that no other strength without the Lord will last. I tried that.
You can undo the knots that hold you down. The knots that keep you somewhere that is really keeping you grounded in a miserable place. But you have to start untying them. There has to be a starting point. It takes time, patience, perseverance, and faith. Sometimes it takes help, so go talk with a professional about the processes and methods that can be taken to begin. Believe in yourself, and trust God, and build a relationship with Jesus, and start untying. You deserve to be anchored in love and good places, and being tied to anything that brings you down is a waste of this beautiful life. Things can change. It’s your choice.

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