I pulled over on my way home from work today, and just spent some time being mindful of His ever-changing world. The splendor of His life.
Today was difficult. It really is going to be different from here, until I don’t know when? I had to put something away for now. I had to put it down. A relationship that I have held onto for dear life that has only brought me further away from His life of love. It has been dragging me backwards. I have spent most of my adult life denying true things within this relationship with great hope of the other person changing their hurtful ways. Waiting and waiting. While I waited, I lost a part of myself. I drifted into the devil’s abyss. I became filled with rage and anger. Spite. Dread. Dead again, in an old familiar way. I simply had to walk away today, and put total faith in His work. Total faith in His plan.
I was starting to become saddened as I was heading down a long stretch of road between city and town. I reached a place within the way which brought instant peace. A soothing song, followed by a break in the dark clouds.
I turned onto a crossroad which began a short experience, reminding me of His place within my tribulation. He holds it together. He has it all within sight. He knows the beginning and the end, of all things. This spectacular view of His wonders left me with a knowing. He is at work. Within the heavens. Within the passing of seasons. The world’s, and mine. At work within my weakness, and right then, within that field of fresh harvest. He is wiping away old, bringing in new. Every second of life; renewed. Every moment of the moving cloud is held up by His way. Every grain of the harvest is painted with His presence. Every breath that I take is within His plan.
I drove away after a few miles of clouds passed before His star of light. I continued to drive home, and knew that all of creation is held together by His mighty hand. This little bump in the road may seem like a mountain, and the unknown road ahead may become obscured by my thoughts. As my flesh passes its many emotions across His perfect plain of grace, I will remain in the knowing of His plan. My plan, in His. My peace, made possible by His presence.