“I’m Not So Sure…”

My company hired a man as an outside sales representative a few years ago. He was a friendly man. He always seemed to have a smile on his face, and a kind word to say.

As I got to know this man, I learned a few things about him. He had a terrible temper. The fits that he would throw at certain times were pretty intense. I also learned that he was battling a prescription opiate addiction. He had back problems. He had expressed to me how he desperately wanted to get off of the medication because of side-effects. He was a heavy smoker. He loved guns, drinking and men. He was very open about many things. I also learned that he was an atheist. He had some pretty bizarre beliefs when it came to how we all ended up here, and I really didn’t understand his theory.

There were times when I would talk about my faith. He asked me how I keep my composure after he learned that I too once had drug addictions, anger issues and much of the same type of anxiety that he had. I told him about the healing power of the Lord, and how my relationship with Him had sent me down a different path. He rejected my belief, but interestingly enough, he wanted to know more.

We spent a few times together. We talked about the Lord over lunch one day, and we debated our beliefs in a friendly manner. I gave him a small Gideon Bible, and it struck me as odd when he said that he already had a Bible. He took my gift anyway. I invited him to a church I was attending at the time, and he said that he would go. He never did, and it was probably best. My family and I left soon after. It was not a healthy environment for a follower of Christ. I would send him articles to read about God. He always accepted my invitations and information.

I don’t know what my efforts ever did for him? He had many unresolved issues that had developed within our company, and he was let go. Upon his departure, I remember him speaking very harshly about the company. He was very upset. When he was saying his goodbyes, he came to me and thanked me. He said something along the lines of appreciating my kindness and honesty. I never saw him again.

My old friend died on January 3, 2018 from an OTC overdose. I learned that he had been taking large amounts of Imodium to alleviate withdrawal from his opiate addiction that he so desperately wanted to remove. The anti-diarrhea drug had caused him to pass away in his sleep.

I attended his celebration service and stood at the box of his ashes. I remembered our talks and the laughs. I have prayed many times that he has reached eternal peace with our Lord.

God longs for us all to accept His invitation. It was always important to me to see my friend go on in life with Jesus walking beside him. He was in a lot of pain, much like the rest of us.

Here is one of the articles I had sent to him. I pray that someone finds inspiration in the message. Have a blessed day.




45 thoughts on ““I’m Not So Sure…”

  1. Tell that to millions who know that it doesn’t..

    Like perhaps the millions and millions of starving children, start with them.

    Or maybe start with all the ones who will get raped today while “god” sits back and does nothing to help them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. IF there is a god, which we can’t know for sure either way, but if there is one, then they are a sick son of a bitch who certainly does not deserve worship or praise.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. If you’re going to pray for anyone, pray for all the hungry, sexually abused children that the “creator” has cursed to lives of misery.

    Pray for them, since prayer is so effective.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I must say though, I do envy the simplicity of mind that allows people to have such dense, unthoughtful, yet conveniently comforting ideology.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 2 Timothy 3:2-7 (ESV)
    2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 6 For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, 7 always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.


  6. Like I already said, pray for ALLLL the innocent people suffering immensely, since prayer is so effective.


  7. Gee whiz. I have my own frustrations with the Bible but I also don’t feel the need to bash someone for believing what I don’t. I don’t know what God is. Sometimes I feel he must be merciful to look down on all of us who do everything in our power to ruin the precious gift of life we have. How does he not grow angry at us who waste life by abortion or with guns or senseless other means. I struggle that he didn’t know this would happen going in. Didn’t he know that his creation would turn out this way? Why bother with people at all? I choose to not be angry or hateful but to wonder instead… Not just about God but about humanity.

    As for your friend, I’m sorry. Do you see people who take a turn for the worse and consider that could’ve been you? I’m thinking that’s what I would do. Drug addiction is such an awful killer. My brother in law is a drug addict and he’s so bad, my father in law has a restraining order against him. Sadly I expect to hear he died like your friend. His life is one of using people to get drugs. We aren’t family but a means to an end. It’s still sad that this one life can be wasted so freely. What a sad end. I’m sorry you lost your friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Aborting a three week fertilized egg is wasting life…
    Let me guess, you eat animal products though right? Lol


  9. Way to copout of having to defend your ridiculous claim.

    If you really knew what you were talking about and cared, you’d defend it when people challenge it.
    Especially when you were the one who brought up the matter.


  10. I usually would but you don’t seem the type to listen to reason. So why bother? It’s not a ridiculous claim. And I find it funny out of everything I said, you chose that point. But go on with your angry self. Good luck with that.


  11. How easy, make a personal attack that has nothing to do with the conversation and then run away.

    The fact that I am responding and giving you the chance to respond…..means I’m trying to listen to your argument…..

    The fact that I disagree with you does not mean I do not listen.
    Give me some valid shit to listen to.


  12. I’m very sorry for your family. Drugs truly suck the life out of people, and in many cases the whole family. I’ve witnessed it and have been guilty of contributing to it as well in my own addictions. Yes, He is a very merciful God. He waits for the broken to welcome Him, but the sinful flesh rejects His ways. It sucks that the world must suffer at the hands of evil. Enjoy your day Michelle.


  13. No you came here to make bold ignorant claims about it expecting no one to call you out on it. Back up the shit you say or be quiet, because this shit matters. Especially if you’re a voter.


  14. That just goes to show how much you (don’t) care about the issue. I stand up for what I believe in, that’s the difference.


  15. Exactly, that’s the problem with people like you, you make it a personal thing. This conversation has nothing to do with personal feelings;
    If you had a clue what the hell you’re talking about and a little more confidence in yourself then maybe you could have productive conversations instead of dropping little bullshit bomb comments and then running away under the guise of “I dont owe you an explanation”.

    You made a comment to which I responded, nothing to do with owing anyone. People who know and care about issues stand up for them when they have the chance.

    Legal early term abortion will remain a Western right because it is the just thing.

    Forcing girls and women by law to give birth against their will is unethical, period. There is no justification for that and there never will be.


  16. I came on here to talk about the post. I really think the fact that you keep commenting and telling me I don’t care just because I don’t want to exert energy on arguing with you is really unproductive. You are free to feel as you do. Look up the word troll. That’s what you are. And I don’t owe you a single thing lady so like I said, write a book and stfu.


  17. You have exerted enough energy that you could have made a valid point by now if you just made an attempt to shut me up with facts.
    The problem is you just get pissy and can’t handle reality when it hurts your feelings, so “stfu” is the level you’re on.

    Telling people who disagree with a view you have to shut the fuck up is PRECISELY what is wrong with this society. Censorship and silencing those who speak truths WILL NOT WORK any longer.

    The fact that you are volatilely for forced birth I think needs to be noted and considered especially if you’re claiming unproductivity from my end.


  18. I just can’t imagine what living in such an emotionally driven state must be like, it is literally so unproductive which is so rich.


  19. More personal attacks. That’s what people who have no valid point to make do.

    If you can’t easily in one sentence back up your claim that early term abortion is unethical then you shouldn’t bring it up in a public comments section to begin with, in my opinion.


  20. Please go read what you wrote towards me. By the way, my emotions are the best part of me. You seem to think that’s a flaw. You seem to enjoy projecting on to me what you have done to me and Damon. The personal attacks originate with yourself. No one reacts well to that, ever. So maybe stop poking the bear. Where’s the block button when you need it? I’m not responding to any more of your comments. I sure hope you treat people IRL better than you do on the internet, sitting behind your computer and safety net.


  21. The issue with relying on emotion rather than facts, science, and sense in regard to legislation, human rights, and civil liberties is that it does not have the best interest of individuals or society in mind.
    In fact I’d say it’s rarely a positive outcome when opinions on societal issues stem from emotions.


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