What We Feed Ourselves

Our selfishness is our demise.

This morning I was on the deteriorating social networking site called Facebook. In my experience, the world is becoming more and more consumed by the opposite of selflessness, and the occasional scrolls through the feed on the site are often a reminder.

Sure, there are many good things about the site. We can keep up with distant family, share in the victories of our loved ones and acquaintances, view cool pictures and laugh at the memes. Many talents are shared there. Along with the pleasantries, there is almost always a huge display of pride somewhere within. Someone is boasting about their self-importance, bragging about their money and self-proclaimed fame, flaunting their material and eating it up when someone reacts. The stroke of ego is what they seek, and the feedback from others inflates it tenfold. But, that’s the world today for many. Running the race with the intention of being the V.I.P. before the other.

It not only hurts to see the people who flaunt themselves, but it also hurts to see those who are down on themselves because of the jealousy or envy that ensues. The result of the action of being selfish. Some become bombarded by their own failures after seeing just how successful another is. They may become envious and seek a superficial lifestyle; one which stems from the jealousy of another. A ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ mentality may emerge. The further a person moves towards a life of selfishness, the less likely they will be selfless.

Pride is something I have been thinking a lot about throughout the last few years. How my own selfishness has broken up many good things. Without going into much depth, it was my own selfishness which caused me to lose good friends, loving people and parts of myself that desperately needed to remain. It was more important at the time for me to feel as though I was of more importance, better than the other and wiser than the ignorant.

Yesterday I was helping a loved one rake leaves. This loved one is a person I have been writing about quite often lately. We are currently trying to mend a very broken relationship that has been severely beaten throughout the last thirty years. Selfishness played a huge part in the battle. We are attending therapy to help remedy our wounds. During lunch together yesterday, some pretty abrasive words were exchanged. Some things of the past were rehashed, leading to a very uncomfortable ambiance within our meet. I lost my cool. I removed myself from the restaurant before I lost it totally.

After lunch, we had planned to rake the many leaves from my loved one’s yard. I sincerely had not planned on helping after our little and very unnecessary time of frustration. I sat in the parking lot and watched my loved one leave the parking lot. I sat in my vehicle and calmed the beast within.

I decided to go help my loved one anyway. I sincerely picked my selflessness over the selfishness that had arisen within my lack of self-control. It was a small victory, but a good reminder of what being aware of my own emotions can do. It is a reminder this morning of just how much grace the Lord shows us.

The progressive process of really noticing my selfishness within these last few years has been a real challenge. I’m not some great saint, even though I’m considered one through the precious blood of Christ! Praise God for that! But in this temporal world, I still fail. I still fall away from the ways of His Spirit. My selfishness sometimes wins. Through Christ, I am learning His selflessness and striving to imitate Him through the living water that springs from within. My selfishness sometimes dams that water. As we move through this life, may we all see our own selfishness, and make a conscious decision to become selfless. May we all be quick to call upon Him within our times of weakness. May we learn His ways in order to know when we are being selfish.



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