You sure can’t fix others.
There has been an ongoing struggle between myself and a loved one that I have been writing about lately. Once again, we are at a standstill.
Joe and I, not the real name of the person but what I will call them, have been fighting a serious battle. Long story short, Joe and I have a hard time letting things go. Rekindling our relationship isn’t working out. Joe wants to hold on to things that are in the past, irrelevant and petty. Joe loves to dwell in misery. Unfortunately, that is all that Joe believes he or she is worthy of. Through our ongoing therapy sessions, I’m learning that Joe is not willing to change.
Further frustrations stem from Joe being further behind in ways that I have worked so dang hard to release! The past hang ups, living somewhere outside of the now, giving into sorrows by living in negative emotions for extended periods of time, things I cannot go back and change and not taking further steps to improve personal well-being. So many things are hard to observe in others when you see them not wanting to move forward, away from the things you know will allow them to go further because you have been there. Right there where Joe is. Hurting. Fearful. Not confident.
It truly sucks.
The things that Joe is saying, and not saying, is bringing me down. I really don’t know if I should continue therapy with someone who doesn’t want to change and sees no harm in the decisions he or she is making within our sessions. I really cannot understand Joe.
The thing is this: I cannot change Joe, and Joe won’t change until he or she wants to. I’ll just continue to be firm in my personal boundaries and try my dangdest to remain kind. It sucks when you care about people who start to show that they only care about themselves.