What, Me Worry?

Several things that could easily steal my joy of this life are currently hanging over our household. Serious, potentially life-changing issues. I am constantly reassuring my wife that everything is going to be okay, but she still worries. That is just how she is. I actually admire that about her. She has a very caring heart and the worry is for the benefit of her family. Even as she sheds a few tears on my shoulder, she still brushes herself off and keeps going.

Worry is something that I’ve always possessed, excessively, and only recently am I learning to maintain control over it. I think I was worried from the first days of my life that I can remember. Worried about the traumatic fights I had witnessed between my ignorant parents, worried about the undiagnosed anxiety I have always carried, worried about the future, worried about the stress that brought on the huge sores on my face, worried about the looks and laughs I would get from others. I believe I worried about worrying. Anxiety, mixed with depression, can turn the world into a complete nightmare.

It’s funny how I had managed to get by. I used cannabis and alcohol to deal with it all. I had to work, but immediately after a long day I would fill myself with as much of either, or, or both, until that feeling was gone. I’m very glad the Lord showed me the destruction those things were causing, and I’m so very thankful my life changed in drastic ways which led me to seek medical help.

There are things that I cannot go back to, and being caught up in the uncontrollable, unpredictable outcomes of situations is nothing more than a delusion. I’m currently learning about and focusing on the present more than ever. It is a process to unlearn ways that I’ve always held so very close. Those self-destructive ways that only wreaked more havoc upon my mental health.

We all have mental problems. Some more severe than others. Honestly, that is part of our fallen nature. I encourage you to read “Your Mental Illness Comes From Not Loving God Enough.”

It is important to me for others to know that mental illness is a difficult thing to live with. If one doesn’t know the proper ways to manage specific malfunctions, then the world can become void of the joy that the Lord has presented. Nature has no splendor, love becomes a word that only others get to embrace and the whole world is the enemy. The inner-self also becomes an opponent. My God, if you shun people with mental illnesses, please stop. You have no idea how hard it is. Pray for them.

It has been a hard road to travel up until this current point. I have just inherited another major blow as of yesterday. I honestly began to get caught up in the old patterns of worry. This time, I diffused them! In the name of Jesus! You see, even in this mind of flesh the Lord has His dominance over the ways of old. I now call upon Him in the midst of my struggles. His Word fills my thoughts, and His promises fill me with hope. He has told me to be, “strong and courageous.” He has promised that He will “never leave me nor forsake me.” I stand on His solid ground today. If I become weak, He is always there.

I pray this morning that if you suffer from mental illness, or if you know someone who does, have mercy on yourself or them. This life is so difficult, even more so for those who face a mental malady. I pray that your worries are laid at His feet. That your burden is light as you are yoked to He who walks with you. I pray in the mighty name of Jesus that you learn to live only in the present. May the Lord provide the remedy to what you worry about today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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