There was a man whose conversation became known within the stillness of the room. He was talking to another guy, but the conversation was easily heard within the silence. He was speaking to a man about partying the entire weekend after an Eagles concert. The Eagles are an American rock band formed in the seventies. They have some really good songs in my opinion. Talented guys. So, I listened to this man talk about the long hours of drinking alcohol, partying in ways that were probably similar to the ways he had partied in the seventies and how much he loved the lifestyle. I wonder if he enjoyed the hangover?
Those are his choices. It is not by decision, nor is it my place to judge. His conversation took me back to a place within my own life. Many places, actually. The places where I would party in the same manner as he was speaking of. Long nights, loud music, lots of drink and smoke, wild people and very loose behavior.
I suppose the word sin never really resonated in my days of partying? If it had, it was ignored. That silly stuff in the Bible was only suggestive, and possibly not even true in my bloodshot eyes. Besides, I had a party to attend. Daily. My nights were filled with the flow of drink and smoke. Who needed an Eagles concert?! Seriously, my “friends” and I would never stop. It wasn’t until I had a more professional job did I stop using during work hours. The party continued directly after the shifts. Those days; burning the brain, destroying the soul and masking the pain were not worth the consequences. The consequences were all that I was. How I identified myself. I had always wondered what life was about, and I decided early on that it was about partying, working and caring for myself and others just enough to get by. I truly had the “F this life!” mentality. “Let’s party!”
Reflecting, I see that those times were needed. It was through my times of pain and destruction that I arrived at the present. I have a totally different view of life, myself, others and the Lord. Through a relationship with Christ, the whole world and everything in it has meaning. It is defined. He has shown me just what it means when I read, “The wages of sin is death.”
You know, life still is one big party. I throw a party everyday, within, and celebrate this life through Him. I don’t glorify my “recovery” as some do, I don’t glorify the past, and I’m honesty learning how not to daily, I don’t need the drugs and alcohol to fill in the void, because He has filled it. Why on earth would I want to bump Him out of the way in order to fill that void with something temporary? I desire consistency, and He delivers.
The “friends” left once the drugs ran out. The pains became unbearable and I would run to something else to fill the void. The music didn’t sound as good once the substance ran its course. I wondered if the guy, probably pushing sixty years old, grows lonely within his void?
I can have a drink these days without freaking out and thinking that I will go back to the days of partying. I have a limit. I also have a relationship with myself through Him that speaks to me. I also have a place in my heart that shows me just how destructive the partying is. I can listen to music without any substance. I can celebrate His glory in my internal party. I will always glorify His strength through my words, and hopefully, if I can continuously calm the flesh, my words will reflect my actions.
My prayer today is that your party becomes His will. Not your own. I pray that the abuse, the ones that cause you to wake feeling like a train wreck, are removed. I pray that you are filled with His Spirit, and not the things of the world. I pray that you see the wages of sin, and how the “death” manifests within your choice to carry out that sin. I pray that your celebration glorifies the King of the world; Christ Jesus.