There is not a day that goes by where I do not have these intentions of being subservient to our Lord. Each day starts with thanking Him for being there for me. He is my strength. The entire day I am looking through a new window, and through this window there is a faint image, a faint reflection, of a new man. A reflection of myself with a suffused, unseen associate named Holy Spirit. Now within this ugly flesh lies a beauty of unknown measure.
He is a mystery, this advocate of mine. His Spirit, not like the little voice of reason before I began to willingly walk with the unseen Christ. I know He is there. If I were to say how I know, then most would laugh. But I know. This presence and I walk through the waste of the world, and the waste within mine. He is always there, but the sad thing is I do not always listen to Him. In fact, I indirectly, without words, tell Him to be quiet at times.
When I am ranting about the sins of others, I am telling my associate to remain quiet. When those little thoughts of rage enter my mind after seeing how evil others have been, I’m telling my associate to have a seat. When that ton of food entered my temple yesterday, those gluttonous ways, I was not listening to that Spirit buddy of mine.
What a wretched man I am!
I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. – Romans 7:19 (NLT)
Even when I do listen to Him and believe I am right there where He desires for me to be; when I don’t rant about my neighbor’s sin, when I pray for others when witnessing the evil within their hearts, and when I choose to control the consumption of food, I am still that same wretched man. Born in sin, dragged through sin, living in sin and dying in sin. My works to be subservient are like “filthy rags” (Isaiah 64:6).
But the Spirit still walks with this broken, weak, ugly hearted man. This wretch. A man whose many facets have been chiseled out of the millions of experiences, the memories of pains and sorrows and the beautiful experiences and choices. The sinful, downright abominable ways I have carried out. That man in the reflection, suffused with my associate.
But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world. – 1 John 4:4 (NLT)
As I continue through this physical world, I’ll rise each day with the intention of letting my associate guide me. This unseen, but evident, comrade of mine whose presence is always beside me. I’ll do my best to not override His decision. I’ll do what I can, within my filthy ability, to allow Him to make the right choice. Until I reach that eternal home, I will fight the good fight with my associate. I will fall, fail, stumble and win, but through Him I will never fall away from my place in Him.
So Christian, do you honestly believe the perfection within your own ability is saving you, and will save you?