The following is a compilation of writing from Mark Carpenter
To validate something is to “give official sanction, confirmation, or approval to it.” What makes you feel like you have value and worth? We are designed to want validation, the feeling of significance. The problem is that we try to get validation from what we think we can control or mange. We avoid mystery and things we can’t control. We seek validation from people, work, friends, accomplishments or our spouse. They become the barometer of our feelings and worth. The treadmill of acceptance can wear us out. Always trying to please people or control situations. The solution is that we kill our heart or hyper control our world. We stop believing that we have value or significance in the world. This will kill your heart, “the wellspring of life” – Proverbs 4:23. Or we control the people in our world by killing them with kindness or managing everything by ourselves. This will flat wear you out.
The problem is we keep God at arms length and try to appease Him with church attendance and trying to be nice. God’s love and acceptance is the key to value and significance. The journey of believing brings freedom and renewed energy. How does God validate you?
He made you in his image and delights in you. – Genesis 1:27 ; Zephaniah 3:17
He stubbornly loves you even when you are unlovable. – John 3:16
God is for you not against you. – Romans 8:31
His plans for you are good. – Jeremiah 29:11
He has given you unique gifts, talents, and strengths. – Romans 12:6
I have been pondering God’s validation for most of my life. Over the years my understanding has grown. I have come to understand that validation comes from understanding who I am in Christ and understanding who God is. Validation comes when we understand who we are. Knowing yourself and knowing God are intricately connected together. You can’t truly know yourself or God’s validation of you without living in relationship with Him. We usually get caught up trying to get validation for what we do rather than who we are.
The metaphors that scripture uses to describe your relationship with God is a good start and guide.
We are the clay, and He is the Potter – Jeremiah 18:1-6; Isaiah 64:8
We are the vine, He is the Branch – John 15:1-11
We are the sheep, He is the Shepherd – John 10:1-18
We are His children – Romans 8:17; Galatians 4:6
We are His friend – John 15:15
We are the bride, and He is the Bridegroom – John 3:29
These metaphors are all a beautiful picture of intimacy, closeness and validation by God. Which metaphor do you identify with the most? Do you identify with the metaphors that seem to be about use, or do you recognize the connection to position and identity. True validation comes in sonship. How do you respond – as a son (or daughter), an orphan or a slave? They are all members of the family, but they all act differently. A true child has confidence, peace and strength in the knowledge and position of being the child of a loving Father. Your journey ahead is growing in the understanding that you have a loving Father who is crazy about you.
This is validation. God really does love you and is crazy about you. You really are the apple of His eye. – Psalms 17:8.
How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son. – Ephesians 1:3-6 MSG