Some have no comprehension of a truly troubled life. Sure, everyone has troubles, but some are so overwhelmed by those little things that cut, that nothing is found to be a remedy.
Sometimes, even one’s faith is not enough.
Let’s be honest. There are things in everyone’s life, and specifically, within the Christian life, that are continuously tearing away at the individual. A, “thorn in the flesh,” as many know of this sinful pain to be from Pauls’ writings. These thorns are so deeply embedded within some that the pain not only tears away, but becomes an infectious wound of torment. The nagging pain becomes an obstacle that must be either constantly danced around while continuing to “go on,” or it must be embraced with reluctant acceptance.
I personally have a thorn in my flesh that has me stuck on this fence.
My personal thorn is something that involves a family member with a bunch of behaviors that are very, very unhealthy. It is a thorn that has, somehow, also become mine. It has, in a sense, become the same thorn within me.
I suppose it is my deep love for this person that has allowed this to happen? I really don’t know, exactly. As I try to understand why this is, I am in a constant battle that has me smack dab in the middle of acceptance, or continuing to work around the hurt.
I am not an idiot, and I have a pretty good understanding of this person. I see things within them that I know are not psychologically healthy. I see right past the lies and deception. I see much of my old-self within them. I can also sense the inner hurts that really need to be dealt with within them. Unfortunately, they see none of those things. If they do, they are ignored.
How tough this is for me.
I could go on, but really, someone will tell me about how rough their life is. I am not, for example, a survivor of the Holocaust, or a prisoner of war, but my struggle is constantly cutting me up in my own personal way. You have those personal thorns, too. No matter how much I place my faith in the Lord: in His provision, His timing, His guidance and His way, I continue to have this little thorn of torment. It’s not a comfortable thing.
I suppose the Lord will allow the cutting things to remain in our lives for reasons we may never know in this life. Perhaps, someday, the pain that nags will subside, or disappear completely? I just have to keep looking at all that is good as I continue to sit on this fence. I still don’t know which side the Lord desires for me to be. I still don’t know why the pain is so deep. Maybe it is a remnant of the pride that we all naturally possess that keeps us on our own little fences?
I’ll just pray for strength, for you and I, this morning.