Several days ago, after being trampled under foot by a horrendous event, I was on the verge of losing my composure. I will admit, I was freely letting my feelings and distresses be known about some of the personal troubles I have been dealing with in many places where they should have been contained. Reluctantly, I later unloaded and expressed them in front of my wife. She had asked me if I wanted to talk about those troubles- what she clearly knew was present- as she freely offered a listening ear. So, I unloaded what had been troubling me.
Part of this trouble I had been experiencing was the unpleasant thoughts I had been harboring about a loved one, along with the anger I had been carrying towards several atheists that had recently attacked me with their heartless words. These two things had me incredibly agitated, and my days, for several days, were filled with things, let’s just say, that were not of the Lord! Those few days became a huge mess. Work became a difficult task and my thoughts were leaning towards the old, familiar ways of the past.
But, the Lord changed all of that, in His way and time.
It was a relief to talk to my wife. At first, I had told her that expressing my frustrations to her didn’t help or change the way I was thinking about the events that were stirring me up. I was still mad about the way others are and just how STUPID they can be. As my wife just listened, instead of offering advice or telling me what I should be doing, she just embraced me and told me that she loves me.
A few days had passed. A series of events: Mother’s Day, my birthday, a visit with my aunt and uncle, as well as noticing the gifts that the Lord had provided, had me back in a good place of comfort. It was through, specifically, love, that I was able to see just what the Lord had planned through the negative experiences I had, just days prior.
You see, I had said, just days ago, while unloading in front of my wife, that, “I no longer care about what the Lord has planned for me.” That is not the exact words I had used. I’m keeping it friendly for the post. I was so incredibly mad about so many things and the words were just flying, carelessly, from my mouth.
But, the Lord was faithful, even when I was far from anything close to faithful.
I had a verse in my head ever since I realized that the Lord is forever faithful to those who, like me the other day, have even a mustard seed-sized faith (Matt. 17:20)…
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39
The love: the gifts that the Lord had provided though my personal experiences with my family, as well as the little hints of His grace and providence that were recognized throughout the series of events in the past few weeks, has mended what had been shattered by the world in which I live. Those little, damaging experiences were used to show me a greater good.
I was starting to convince myself that the sins that plague the faithful could pluck the believer from the hand of God. Fortunately, after experiencing the events of the past few weeks, I have a better understanding of knowing why and how that is not true.
If the Lord has started a good work (His good work) in the heart, believe that He will never give up on you, even when you, temporarily, give up on Him. I pray this morning that you are comforted by His perfect work in your tattered heart.