I threw out all of the past bitterness and tried to love again. Without getting into much detail, I will tell you a bit about my recent, personal experience with forgiveness.
It truly has taken me a long time to learn how to knock down a few barriers; those walls that have been built up over my life. So many different avenues that led me to believe that I could trust certain individuals, only led me to dead ends. After being let down by so many, and after a long run of being let down by so many as I was growing up, I became jaded.
I still am, to a certain extent. People aren’t what they claim to be, in many cases.
The stings of the people around me, pretty much made me into a little “stinger” myself. It wouldn’t have been surprising for me to tell you to your face how much of a junk person you are. I just couldn’t stand the fronts or the little shows people would put on for the world, while knowing first hand how they had truly been in certain situations.
No. They were getting called out for their ridiculousness.
But, that was then.
Within the last few (insert unknown time here), I have truly been trying to extend grace to others.
When I truly meditate on the forgiveness I have received from our Lord as His Son shed His blood at Calvary, I see what I must do. I mean, who am I to think that I shouldn’t have been the one to be crucified there in His place?
I know that the Lord loves me. He has forgiven me, and it all has been made possible, solely, through the blood of Jesus. Nothing will ever change that, PRAISE GOD! Although, really, who am I to think that I walk righteously among others? Who am I to think that I should not forgive as He has forgiven?
Ahhemm….way easier said than done.
So, here is where grace gets interesting, as I meditate each morning on it in these recent days.
I know enough from Scripture to understand the refining fire that the Lord will have us go through in order for us to become more of what He intended, and within that refinement, grace is defined. We always seem to want something done within our own time. We are conditioned that way. We have a clock on the wall, a calendar, a schedule and so on. We think within the time that we are in the midst of, and we always count the numbers within it. But, God is outside of time, and even space, for that matter. We have no idea how and why God works things out the way that He does within His time (if one could even label it as time), and we sure don’t know why He has us go through those times of refinement.
They truly are difficult and trying times, at times.
What I’ve been trying so hard to remember in recent months is to be still.
There has been so many battles that I have been going through with my blood family. Lots of hurt has been dispersed, and the consequences of actions has left both parties in their places of disgust; completely fed up with each other.
I’ve now been able to look at it as both parties: the other, and myself.
I have been so focused on love as I’ve been meditating in the mornings, trying hard to carry it with me throughout the day. I’ve had a few experiences lately, a few stories have been told to me in recent weeks about how kind someone had been (who was known to not be in past years), and I’ve observed how my subtle changes have made such a huge, positive impact on those around me. I truly believe that the refining process has brought me to this point, and as I focused on being still, I truly know that the faith I have in the timing (outside of this time that we know) He provided, brought me to this new plateau.
God is love. God is love! God is pure, agape, no refinement necessary, perfect, unfathomable, no word for it–love.
I pray today that you seek the love of God in your life. I pray that you see that Christ has made the biggest sacrifice one can make for you. The sin that you deal with in your life, whatever that is, can be cleansed by the POWER of His love, and I pray that those sins are laid at His feet.
There is a force that we know as Holy Spirit who leads those who love Him into all truth. That truth may take a short time, or a long time. It may hurt, burn, sting, shake you down, and really get under your skin (your thick, jaded, sinful-natured skin). I encourage you to let Him still your worried mind and heart as you step through your refining fire/time here. I encourage you to stop and remember that under your enemy’s skin, a broken heart, just like the one in you, lies.