All The Lovely People

I’ve been humbly accepting of the way things are lately. With that being said, things are kind of all over the place. My faith, my family turmoil, my patience, my frustrations and my ability to care all that much about the overall impact it all is making on me (and mind you, I’m still being kind to others around me, regardless of my inner struggle), all these things are, really, not all that bothersome.

I’m fine with not being fine.

The current whirlwind that I am going through is so typical. It tends to happen in my life. One year, or month, or day — good and wonderful. The next, the same miserable bullshit I have always been prone to. I suppose it is just something I am used to and also something that I am becoming numb to; not nearly as abrasive on my soul as it once was.

Which brings me to how numb I am when it comes to that part of me regarded as immortal. I’m not too concerned in this current period of time with where I’m going to spend eternity.

It’s like this: I believe I’m going to heaven, regardless of the preaching of otherwise, going on all around this site and others.

This recent period I have been experiencing has revealed a plethora of many thoughts, brought about, mainly, by narratives of all of the different beliefs “Christians” have. Being perfectly honest, I think most of the writings I have been exposed to, with the exception of a few, have completely left me baffled by how ridiculous some are. I mean, the religious attitude and grandiose self-images implied, within their spoken word or within their described, “godly ways”, is appalling to me. It all seems as though a great majority of the world of Christianity is nothing but false hopes and illusory happiness, made up of regular people on an emotional joyride –little flocks of social clubbers and attention seekers.

Not following Jesus by faith alone, but through faith in being good enough alone.

Showing the world just how good they are at being, “right”.

Vomit. It makes me vomit.

I love the guy or gal who can and will lay it all out there — exposing every flaw they have. Giving a testimony of just how far from the cross they are; just how much they fall short. They are Christian. They are the ones in need of a Savior. The others who are living in their little fantasy worlds don’t need God, because they already are their God.

If you claim to be a righteous man, or woman, and if you give yourself a title like Pastor or Bishop or Reverend, for God’s sake, be honest with yourself and others — you’re just a man or woman like everyone else! Step down from your platform or self-centered righteousness!

I won’t be talking about (ever) how glorious my belief is, because the whole world looks at the Christian as a holier-than-thou bigot.

I won’t be one of you.

The way I see the Lord is pretty simple: Love God, love your neighbor and love yourself. Anything beyond that is pride. Anything we claim as righteous is what the devil did, and look where he ended up.

It is solely upon Christ and what He did in order to get the filthy washed clean. So quit scrubbing, you’ll never get your stains off.

I’m a filthy man, full of the crud that I truly do my best to embrace and remove, so help me God. And you know what, so are you. We all need to remember just how much we don’t deserve to be seen as good. Take a look around you. You aren’t any better than the next, Christian or not.

So, I’m comfortably not comfortable where I am. I have my current position within my faith, my family turmoil, my patience, my frustrations and my inability to care all that much about the overall impact it all is making on me.

And I’m okay with it, because I rely solely on Christ to get me through. He’ll still be picking me up while all the modern day religious Pharisees destroy His name, as well as my comfort when around them, and their voices.

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

5 thoughts on “All The Lovely People

  1. Hi Damon, I, like you, am acutely aware of how often that I fall short and I am also aware that in all probability, even my own awareness probably falls way short of what reality is, with me even coming close to fully understanding the differences between myself and God. The long and the short of it is, that’s why our Father sent Jesus in the first place and that’s why our faith and trust is in Him. It’s the realization of what we are and who we are that can be difficult but I have learned from experience, not to focus too much attention on the negative but rather focus on the basics. Help when I can, hug because I can and forgive often. How I interact with my wife and immediate family, how I interact with others, how I try to maintain that communication with God, daily, is vitally important. Some days are better than others but there are two things that I remind myself of. God would never ask us to forgive others if He wasn’t willing to forgive us. So for me and I can only speak for myself, I can only be aware that if I try as best as I can to be honest with Him, and make an honest effort, that is all that He asks. And in truth, sometimes my honest efforts even fall short. But, I do know this. I am much different from how I used to be in a number of areas. Obviously no flag waving about total victory etc, but there have been many changes. And my appreciation and consideration for God has also changed, He plays a much bigger part in my life than I used to allow Him to. He is definitely part of the equation now and that wasn’t always the case in the past. Do I see shortfalls in others, sure I do, but I have enough on my plate in my dealings with God, to realise that no one is perfect, and I am required to cut them some slack if I need God to cut some slack with me. I guess balance is the word that I am searching for. To be mindful and react accordingly. The second thing I remind myself of is the magnitude of God’s love. Many years ago I was allowed to be in His presence for a couple of minutes, haven’t got a clue why, never saw anything or heard anything, I was just there. You can read about it here if you are interested: https://bcooper.wordpress.com/2018/10/20/the-presence-of-god-revisited/ If my sin nature registered a one, His love nature registered a hundred, it was totally unreal, so much so that I never wanted to leave being in His presence, ever. I’ve had to remind myself of the magnitude of God’s love over the years, which for me, serves as a bit of a stabilizer when it comes to allowing my own nature to override His, in my mind. I think we all struggle with that reality in varying degrees for a variety of different factors but all of it pales to the enormity of His love. Sin is sin and God’s love is God’s love and Jesus broke the consequences of our separation with God and our one reality to focus on is our trust in Him. If we are asked to forgive others 7 times 70 times, then that is what God is willing to do for us. We forgive because we are forgiven and always, the focus point is God, He is the why. You’re right about what we sometimes see in others. But that is not what is important, it’s how we react to what we see. I wish I could share what I experienced with you but I can’t, I can only tell you that His love is so much more than our shortfalls. That also is a reality and our Father expressed that love by asking His Son to do for us what we could not do for ourselves. Imagine asking your own son to go through what Jesus went through so that your adopted son could comprehend the love that you and your son have for him. Imagine your son doing it. Imagine the message to your adopted son.

    I can’t change yesterday and the Lord knows that I would like to but I still can’t. Today is what is important and tomorrow if He gives me that to work with. If today I can only manage to hold His hand, as long as my heart is attached to that hand, that is all that He asks. Even when I stumble, even when I fall. God’s love for you surpasses anything that words can try to describe. Not even close, not even in the same ballpark. Focus on that. I know you are real, I can see that in what you write. The caring for others will come when we see ourselves in others, like I see myself in you. You are deeply deeply loved Damon because you accepted God’s love through His Son. You’re connected, let His love do for you what it’s purposed to do. Hug your wife, hug your children, thank Him when you can. The rest will unfold as you hold His hand. Focus on who you’re connected to. God’s grace, peace and blessings on you and yours. – Bruce

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  2. I agree with a the majority of your comments, Bruce. Thanks for sharing.
    My current position as a man within my personal life is actually really nice, outside of having a mentally ill mother, grieving over my father’s death, being a step parent and sometimes wanting to tell people how I really feel. Other than that, things are very well. I’m incredibly thankful for all of God’s blessings and always will be. Through it all, I have been shaped, broken completely apart and reconstructed, and as of right now, I absolutely hate drama. I have been exposed to more than I could ever express through my writings, but I try to do so in order for people to see how and why Jesus is my rock.
    Although forgiveness and love is the core of His ways, they are extremely hard for me. Looking back on my life, I see why. No one else really can. I tend to read people well, and people have motives that aren’t of God, and unfortunately, many Christians are the worst.
    My perspective is just placed here for others to view so that maybe they can get a view of themselves in a different light, through the words I share. My experiences are unique, as are yours, and the goal is to find our own peace and place in His far from beautiful world that sin has covered.
    May we keep our eyes on Him, Bruce. Peace and love, brother.

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  3. I hear what you’re saying Damon and I think your being real can help others. Not criticizing at all, just reaching out. If you ever need to bounce something off of me I’m available. Here’s my email: bruce.planbsolutions@gmail.com Just wanted you to know that I’m here if you need me. No drama, no agenda. We’re brothers. Blessings.

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