As I wake this morning, I sit and wonder why I exist.
Is there a bigger plan that I am somehow a very small part of? I believe so. I believe we all are. Somehow, we are an intricate part of a divine whole. I do mine, you do yours, and somehow, the end result has purpose. Just my thoughts.
But, is this great working that we’re all a part of, is it for a greater purpose outside of the “reality” we define with our intellect? Our, “theory”? Our belief? Does it have a divine purpose? I believe so.
Although, I really have no idea, not even the slightest idea, of what it may be.
Studying the things before me: the wild landscapes, the people, the lovely plants and animals that are so full of colorful splendor. The space that goes on, forever and ever, as I look out into its indescribable vastness. The emotions that I feel. The empathy. The sympathy. The anger that has destroyed me internally and externally. My little kids who became teens, and are now growing towards adulthood. The prints upon my fingertips. The light that flashes when sperm enters the egg. Each breath that I am able to take.
It’s all divine.
So, how does it all intertwine? How is the grand scheme affected by all of this? By my perception? By my place within it?
I only have one answer: Jesus.
The more I study His Word, the more I see the answer to all of the questions. The more I allow my unknowingness to be defined by His definition. His splendor. His character. His mystery.
As ridiculous as it seems to the one — like myself — who wonders and wants a definitive answer, I choose to give it all to Jesus.
He said, “I AM”, and that works.
All of the questions that I have could drive me mad, simply because I will NEVER get an answer to exactly what, or where, or how, or why. I won’t get the answer. As the mad atheist does — desperately trying to explain everything within their scientific stance, and always failing to explain a source — I would do the same. I would never be able to know the Creator.
But, I do have a reference — the only reliable one that I know to date.
The more I read His Word, the more faith I have. The more I lean on Him to keep me comforted from the prideful flesh that desperately wants to know. I lean on Him when things get rough. When things are wonderful. When love is prominent, and when anger has its way with me. I praise Him for the majestic land, His wonderful creations and His unique craft. I praise Him for the life I have. I gives thanks to Him for the blessings.
I really don’t understand the evil in the world. I see it in the Bible and somewhat understand it by trying to make sense of it all, but what was the point? I don’t know. Just another question I’ll never get an answer to. Perhaps in the realm to come, I will?
That works, also.
Faith is pretty simple to me. I just have it. Pretty simple. I don’t care for the religious binding that I find within our world, and in my Bible I can see why Jesus didn’t care for it either. I just have faith. I’ll never get the final answer, but I will let the equation unfold in its way. Maybe someday, far away from the reality I comprehend, I will get the answer? I hope so. I think I’ll just bask in the peace of not knowing until then.