For over a year and a half, I have been putting my thoughts, feelings, photography, videos, many experiences, insight and the things I have learned along my personal road into a blog. It’s pretty cool having a place where I can do so. The whole intention of this is for others to see themselves (in whatever way that is) through what I share here. As man has always done, the sharing of all that they have to offer is how others grow in their own ways.
But lately, I feel as though I am being judged by many for what I do here at My Journey. It seems as though my honesty is not what people seek, and I think I know why.
I’m too honest.
Well, that’s just me.
There has been a few things that have happened — words that have been sent my way — which has led me to believe that many think I am not a Christian. The title, “My Journey” is what I’ve chosen to name this blog because it is with all of my experiences I am now walking through the world with Jesus. And, it wasn’t always this way. I suppose it was a time in my life where I had been longing to share the work He was/is doing upon launching the blog. The time was after a woman had suggested I share my life with the world in order to spread the Gospel through my experience, so I did. I wholeheartedly appreciate the followers and the kindness that I receive through my little writing outlet. Although, I receive a lot of judgment — mostly from Christians — for being myself.
I’m not the model Christian….. I guess?
I tend to put it all out there: the wins, losses, struggles, joy, hurts, beauty of this world and the not so beautiful. That won’t change. While doing so, I see the good Christians looking at me as a farce, and a fake. My honesty is sometimes too much for the reader, and so I am taught a lesson with their quoted Scripture, the self-righteous judgment and their infallible prayers for me. And, that’s fine. I have broad shoulders. At the same time, truth does hurt some when one is not prepared to receive it. On this blog, I speak the truth that I personally know. Constructive criticism is always welcome, but I will do — and have already done — my research.
I do talk a lot about the Church — one of the things that I passionately care about. Unfortunately, it seems to hurt many people when I speak of what the world calls church in reference to the building. In my experience, the organized, institutionalized church is so far from the truth of what Scripture teaches that it is just another sin (or more accurately, a huge collection of) that I would rather avoid. I spent a great amount of time in such literature as a book called, “Pagan Christianity? : Exploring The Roots Of Our Church Practices” and found that what most Christians do there is not at all what Jesus wanted. We must fellowship, but how, where, when and why and is completely jacked up and distorted by what is taught within these places. I suggest you read and research for yourself if you’d like to know more about what I’ve spent endless amounts of hours learning about. Through a series of churches I had experienced, I finally saw a lot of truth. It gave me the incentive to dive deeper into the truth of the mess.
What a mess it is.
Messy. That’s what I am. A complete mess. And, that’s what I write about here. I suppose some Christians would rather me quote more Scripture, teach the world a lesson (like most Christian bloggers do) or be someone I’m truly not? Well, don’t hold your breath. I’m not here to do that. I’m a straight shooter, pretty raw and I speak what many think but refuse to say. Although, I’m learning that it’s not always appropriate, depending on the circumstances. Growth is being embraced along my journey, and I’m learning as I go. Much of the introspect that I spend my time in consists of becoming more of what Christ is, and less of what I am. With that comes self-control. With that comes the voice of Holy Spirit within me, and honestly, my voice is still much louder than His. From what I can tell, everyone’s is in some way.
So, to the world — I’m a messy Christian. I will continue to speak the truth that I see, the errors of the ridiculous and the lessons that I personally learn (or don’t) here at my blog. I appreciate the kindness and wisdom from others, and I also appreciate the criticism. It sometimes has me reassessing myself, as well as seeing just how ridiculous many Christians have become since God went to their arrogant heads.