The willingness to move on: Do you possess it?
One of my co-workers has a tendency of getting stuck within one task, and staying stuck. There may be several other tasks that need to be completed, but he finds himself completing (if that many) only one.
It’s a wonder that he gets to keep his job, I sometimes think.
As I thought about this example, I also thought about how even though I see that he has a tendency to get stuck within a task, I have a tendency of getting stuck within an emotion.
It’s also a wonder that I get to keep my sanity!
Staying within an emotion has its pros and cons, no doubt. It’s a beautiful thing to cry away some sort of bottled up pain, or sort through the anger that eats away at a heart that longs for love. It’s necessary to embrace the many emotions we are gifted with in this human form. Although, it can be a life-changing, and many times, a life-threatening predicament if we embrace the emotions for too long. It’s almost as if we get to attached to them — not moving on, much like my co-worker within his tasks.
I know what this can be like. For a very long time, I was not capable of introspection or good at discerning my realities. I never cared to take a look at a man I was completely ashamed of, and completely unwilling to dig up the vulnerabilities in. I never wanted to look inside myself and uncover what really was buried in there.
There was way too much negative emotion attached.
I hoarded these negative emotions and kept them packed away, and if anyone tried to disrupt these emotions, they would usually meet the Mr. Hyde in me, very quickly. That was not healthy for anyone.
I’m actually medicated and doing extremely well these days, thank the Lord. It’s a blessing to have an aid in my healing. With its help, I’m now able to take a look at the realities without the terror of a mind that was haywire, and not able to break down and comprehend my true self. I can only speculate what had caused my insanity which led to the need for medication: The early teen years of many illegal drugs and alcohol. The early childhood trauma. Strange situations, brought about by the wrong people and wrong environments. The ongoing addictions that I kept as necessities, well into my adult life. All of these things, and many things I still do not comprehend, all led me to this point in my life — a point where I am able to move on from negative emotions before they begin to rule over me.
I am happy to be in a place where emotions are able to be observed, and not in a place where I am observing life solely through emotions. Sadness is welcomed when it comes. Joy is greatly accepted. Love is in the spaces of my heart that were once cluttered with only the emotions of sorrow and angst.
Not all people are able to just, “move on”. It’s a practice and a habit, much like nearly everything that we as humans do, which has to be utilized. You really have to decide to change for yourself. Only we, ourselves are capable of changing what kills and destroys us inside. But, we have to be willing to face ourselves, and point ourselves in a different direction. There are tools, doctors, medications, and above all, the Lord above, that can change the patterns and habits within us.
I pray that all who read this post — all of my posts — see the transparency and vulnerability I share, and see it as it is intended: to help others grow in directions that will help them. I know a lot about trauma and the emotions attached. I do know what staying stuck can do. I pray that everyone can learn to move on in profitable ways, and observe their own emotions from an outside, versatile, non-bias perspective.