When I say, “heart,” I suppose I mean the inner being of myself. The soul–the thing that is driving this flabby, muscly, bony body. The magic that keeps me alive, if you will. Truly, the whole God thing really tugged at me, causing great mental and physical distress. The whole experience became an obsession. I had to figure this stuff out.
The thing is, I never did.
The pegs and holes would change their shapes as soon as contact was about to be made, distorting my understanding of the biblical concepts, teachings of the educated clergymen, and the lessons Jesus was teaching within the records. I didn’t understand that God was everywhere (according to what I had learned from the Bible), but in order to know Him I also had to dress up and act fake around others at a building we hated going to, pretending that God was only found in it. Being told to give our money to sinning men that lived off of our hard-earned reward for labors. I didn’t get most of any of it, to be truthful. And, later finding that the church would twist and distort the Bible for their own personal gain, I began to really have an incorrect interpretation of the God of the Bible.
Men and women–whittling away at the soul. Quite the opposite of the ‘joy and peace of God’ I was supposed to be experiencing.
What I do know know, and what has permanently cleaned up those defined shapes of the Lord–both peg and hole–is this: I don’t know anything about God. I only have the simplest form of faith, alone.
I can see the same fundamentals in God as I did in the matching of shapes early on. Other than the same simplicity, I see nothing. I say this with great sincerity. So many minds try to fully comprehend and understand the God/Jesus/Bible, the Way, Truth and Life, but they truly don’t. A mystery that created a mystery, certainly cannot be explained, and I see nothing but selfishness and pride in anyone who thinks they truly know.
I see that round pegs do not fit in the square holes, but, unfortunately, many think they do. They’ll try to convince themselves, only to consistently fall short in their attempts.
As for me, I have faith that God, through Christ–the only One who’d ever claimed to know the answers to the puzzles–will someday show definitive answers. Until then, pegs and holes will fit accordingly. That is, until God shows me otherwise.