If I had the choice, I’d never do it all over again.
Living in the past. Sure, I’ve written about the importance of living in the present numerous times, and I’ve found that it takes a great amount of effort on one’s own part to achieve this way of thinking. Years ago I never would have thought it was even possible. My whole life revolved around the mistakes and miseries of the past, and my desire to go back and do something about it was always at the forefront of my days. Hindsight–yeah, that whole thing. I began, and it is honestly an ongoing practice, to only see my life as it is today in the present moment. If the current is what we can define as our reality, then it should be embraced for exactly as it is. Yesterday is gone and it’s not coming back!
The mind I used to possess had a lot to do with the necessities I would pursue. I thought that most things were only within the reaches of what I already knew; only plausible based upon where I had been and what I had gathered. A closed mind, so to speak. My personal life of the past had shaped me into a protective and inquisitive guy, and the quickness to form an explanation/opinion (an indubitely correct one within my prideful way) stemmed from my personal past. I utilized the vain and narrow, and I kept it tucked within a quickly accessible tool belt. Being wise in my eyes was only achievable within my limited view. If I couldn’t gather logical explanation from a newly-presented stance in the present, then they were wrong. I was not open to seeing why others would think the way they had after being presented with facts. For instance, not forgiving someone for little things was something that I was quick to hold onto, and I thought that others who did were just passive pushovers–like they enjoyed being hurt. That thinking came from the past experiences. Another example is the need to go back to another time in my life and try to make something out of it: past relationships that failed, past places that ‘worked’ at the time, and so on.
The bread and butter of my writing this morning is to help others release the limitations of the past. I absolutely believe the past is necessary, for how else would we mature and grow? But, living there is not realistic. We only have the now. Right now, we can try to understand why other people are the way that they are. Right now, we can let go of that which hurt us in days that are no longer. Right now, we can keep our mouths shut and wait for the right situation and a good-mannered way (if ever possible) to discuss the hurts others have had their hand in. Right now, we can let go.
In the now, something outside of it is usually what hurts us the most.