A collection of who I am is what I saw as I looked over many of the writings on the site.
My blog fist began because of a desire to project my unique experiences into the world with hopes that someone, somewhere, would see their life in a different way. The ability to think about our personal lives–what we experience and how we process the experience–is largely comprehended by means of someone else’s words. Those words, gathered into our own thoughts, develop into something that we take away with us.
But, this morning, I saw something within the writings that stood out like never before: I’m addicted to thoughts. I also recognized that the delusive belief of who I am: the work I do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, person and family history, belief systems, and often nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications (E. Tolle), are not truly who I am as a being. Simply put, I only have been thinking these things are my true self. I’m seeing the real me, and it cannot be explained yet. I cannot even attempt it because it is so new. The only thing that I can compare it to is how a new born baby experiences EVERYTHING for the first time.
Anyone can look through the blog and see thoughts segmented into words and formulated into my experiences, but I wonder how many of you can see what I had this morning? I saw the truth of every single one of my writings, and that is just how much I am addicted to my thoughts. It’s like a simple breakthrough that began years ago, was brought to attention on the morning of March 6th this year during a hike, and, just this morning, stood in front of me making me realize just how true the addiction is.
What also occurred to me is how many others are addicted to thoughts, or what I’ve recently learned to be called, “The Egoic Mind.” It’s just a name, and it has to be observed and understood to get why it is called this. That’s your choice.
My choice is to take a look at this addiction, just like I took the time to look at every other addiction I had over the years. Will coffee ever be something that I observe outside of the Egoic Mind? I can only wonder! The desire to understand how this mind of mine works is the focus, unlike the focus that has mainly been spent on reflection of past events communicated in the majority of my writings. Follow along if you like.
Enjoy the day!