In Between Spaces

There are small gaps in between these words and sentences, much like the spaces in between the thoughts behind them.

When I began to write this morning, it occurred to me that my mind has been going through many changes throughout a somewhat short period of time. Several weeks has been an awakening of sorts. I’ve really noticed just how my little mind constantly speaks, and what it speaks. There is a lot of negative talk in there. It wasn’t until I made a full-on effort to make a habit of being the silent observer did I notice the chatter of my mind; those thoughts that I produce. It has been an experience to notice just how much of the chatter is shameful.

What I tend to convey to myself in thought has been pretty egoic. I’m finding that is has played a big part in the way I perceive the world. Although subtle and perhaps not as profound in such ways as other tend to experience themselves and others, I possess what I consider a strong egoic mind. What I am noticing is just what that egoic precept does within my daily life: it destroys the flow of peace, both inwardly and outwardly. The more I play the silent observer–the one who recognizes the thoughts that come and analyzes them without judgment–I see this ego that the human mind seems to spend the majority of its time being. As I study the reasoning for it and how to overcome it, I am finding that the whole world is becoming beautifully illuminated. That illumination, a word that only illustrates an undefined reality, is what I am finding between the thoughts. When the mind is silent, between the thoughts, I am my true essence: only conscious. Consciously, I observe with little to no thought.

A clarity to process the thoughts and a novice power to slow the ego behind the thoughts is beginning to take place the more I learn about and understand this space between. The mind–mostly that of the egoic–takes away from the true conscious being that I am. It distorts the reality of a man. It destroys the world that needs the serenity I am capable of delivering, without the ego taking center stage.

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