The nook that I write at has been a place of many collective thoughts. Since we moved into our new home at the end of 2018, I set up shop here in our kitchen. The refurbished laptop purchased from eBay has been reliable throughout this writing journey. As I sit alone this morning and think about all of the words I’ve punched out on the keyboard, and all of the fighting I’ve done with myself while doing so, I reflect on recent weeks.
Please read the words within the following three images.
These words are hard to digest for me. For the past several weeks, I have been chewing on some very tough truths that are slowly working their way into these very resistant layers.
In fact, the majority of my life–even the days I’ve spent writing throughout a great portion of the years here at the nook–has been, as stated, the “Yes, but…” scenario. Paradise still had its problem. I was always going into the past or future, and dying from it.
I’m truly fed up with the internalized suffering. I’m tired of battling myself while writing about the scarring of the past. When a present moment occurs and I can reflect on it in another present moment, then I will only observe the fleeting moment of the past. I won’t go back and identify myself with those moments. I won’t live life in the insanity of a future that is not here.
What do these words speak to you?