I find it puzzling to see just how many people are resistant to others helping them in ways that would benefit them.
I’ve been doing some work for a family member. There was a time when I thought much like this person. Not being focused on anything other than the past or future was always how I identified myself. You could not tell me that negativity was/is caused by the accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. There was no way I would hear that all forms of fear–anxiety, tension, worry, stress–are caused by the narratives of future in my head. It was impossible to make me hear that constant grief, sadness, bitterness, guilt or regret resulted from stewing in the past. Presence? There was no such thing. If I was present, I was only ‘presently’ thinking about the past or future. It was all I knew.
I had a conversation with the individual yesterday with the hope of conveying these truths to them. Unfortunately, they resisted. I know why. It is because of the same reason why I would never have considered it in the past: If I accepted it, then how would I ever identify? If my constant pain was taken away, then what else would there be?
Anyone who reads this blog knows how much work I’ve put in to become someone I never was before. I had to let go of my pride–the ego that kept me limited while under the spell of fear–and open myself up to advice. Facts. Truths, hard ones. If I never would have, I’d still be swimming through my own head and getting nowhere. I feel bad for my family member, but only they can open themselves up to new beginnings…
Unfortunately for them, fear is the unrecognized resistance.