Thinking Of You

“You have to take the good with the bad.”

I remember a friend of mine saying this many years ago. There is no telling what the situation was at the time that served as the reason why he had said it to me, but the simplistic truth of his statement still resonates.

There was a big life-altering situation that occurred last night. I sat outside and took on the emotions, thoughts, anger. It was an experience. I observed what was going on within myself. The initial shock was a bit overwhelming, but it is almost unbelievable how my thoughts over the matter shifted as the evening progressed. When clearly seeing that, like all of life, things will always be full of ups and downs, a different perspective manifested.

There is a very true understanding that I have about myself as I sit here this morning and reflect on the situation and evening. It is not certain what the future holds. That’s the reality. It is the reality that is just as real as the situation that presented itself last night. It’s just as true as not knowing if my strengthening resilience will continue in the manner in which it does. I guess I could ask myself, ‘Will a blow knock me over completely someday? Will I fold under the pressure of thoughts about the ugly situations I have yet to face?’ This kind of thought would only encourage more of the narrative that stress and anxiety feed upon. There is now, and that is all that matters, and right now I’m finding that the blow is only as bad as I choose to make it.

It has been a journey, that is for sure. I guess the title of the blog still fits. What doesn’t fit into the walk anymore is believing that a snake and a fruit caused the perfect world to fall apart, while God orchestrated the game. In the happenings of this life, both good and bad, I accept that imperfections are universal. When I peered out into the vastness of space that was visible last night, I thought about the parts that weren’t; the infinite depth. Crashing, and burning. Creating beautiful masterpieces, and failed flops. How selfish it is of me to demand that a God of my own creation should provide for me only comfort when I know that nothing in this life and universe is stable. It was good advice my buddy had given me. Although it’s unfortunate that we have the contrast in the first place. If I weren’t human, I’d never see the need to compare. The happenings wouldn’t cause the mind to type out the thoughts, and the situations wouldn’t challenge.

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