Always Dead. Always.

I wonder what it is that convinces one to hang on to pain, even though he or she knows that it isn’t helping matters?

It was always different than it is now, before I began to live in the present. How unaware I was—even though I reflected on a pain from the past, I was doing it in the present moment, which is truly the only time there is. It is a mystery to understand why some never see this truth, even if they grasp it.

Did I identify myself with thoughts of trauma in and of a different time? Did I need to feel the emotions instead of accepting them—emotions that were only present during those events? Why did I need them again and again? How much hurt can a person bring into their life (from past) before nothing in the present is pleasing? Eventually, the past is the only present state of mind…

Negative, and completely life-draining.

Emotions can still exist in the present over past traumas, but becoming them is not sensible. There is life outside of the thoughts that consume us. There is freedom in thought awareness.

2 thoughts on “Always Dead. Always.

  1. Past traumas were one of the reasons for my addictions. Becoming aware through intense therapy and sobriety really helped to overcome the past rather than being consumed by it. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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