All Is Well

If it weren’t for acceptance, I don’t know what each day would be like?

Looking back on an old post this morning had a way of showing me a change in myself. When it comes to the approval of my audience, I find myself not really caring anymore. In the earlier writings, there was a focus that many would find interesting, for the simple fact of me being the same Christian as they had provided a common bond. Since I’ve given up trying to be a self-sacrificing man for a god, I just don’t see those faces lighting up my posts with likes and words in agreement with the content. It is typical to see good Christian men and women turn their backs as soon as you begin to think in a different way than them about God.

The liberation is so relieving, and I wish it would have come years earlier. To completely accept things for the way they are in the present moment is the nirvana that most only find in a daydream. Yet, I know now that it is through the acceptance of the now, in all of its complexity, that nirvana is ever present. Of course, it is not permanent for me. There is a lot in me that just won’t allow it. The cool thing about it all is the growing realization of all things, whether it be my emotions, conditions, circumstances, feelings, threats, hinderances, joys, pleasures, friendships–in other words, all things in the objective and subjective, I am finding that through acceptance the world is just fine. I am fine. After years of being depressed and living with the degrees of anxiety that I have, this goal, this reality, is a golden virtue. It was escaping the fear of not being good enough for a god that brought it on, but it was also a willingness to see that I am just like all the rest of the world. A world that is temporarily here.

I’m going to enjoy the world. I just have to remember that nothing is permanent here.

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