It’s Okay

I’m kind of amazed with the progress that has been made throughout the last few months. It may be something that I continuously write about, but that is just the good feeling shining through. When one learns to overcome the confines that has bound them for a time, why shouldn’t they celebrate?

Yesterday proved to be another small victory. Interactions with a variety of people went well. That is something that was not able to be expressed in the past. Sitting next to certain individuals while patiently trying to contain myself is a trouble I once had, especially when it came to long periods such as holiday gatherings. It was normal for me to hold onto the little situations of the past that formulated some sort of cause for me to not like someone. People had a way. It just amazes me to see how it really is now.

Maybe it is my age? I don’t know if it is the death that I’ve seen over the years? It could be the feedback from the ones who’ve shown me just how much they care for me by showing me their graciousness and patience while I went through the changes. It is probably a combination of all. What I really think has helped the most in changing my perspective on life and the people within it is the way I think about the life I have. Not caring about the superficial things that a lot of people indulge in, such as politics, sports, gossip, this new-age fad of comparing and competing with another propagated by marketing and social media, or even the small things like worrying about how the past, hurt me. Or how I hurt others. The last two are now things that I can categorize as superficial because I know that it was all that I/we knew at the time. Rehashing and feeling guilty over something only keeps me in a bind, and when bound I can’t move forward. That’s why religion and these groups that keep you in an unconscious state, such as AA or NA meetings, are for people who love to believe they deserve to feel guilt. It only hurts in a different way than the addiction or the sin. It is a lot more effective when one can take a deep look at themselves and actually learn from their mistakes while at the same time seeing what their choices produced. You have to dig deep and find the underlying cause for being a dumbass. You also have to know that it is all you knew at the time. You have to forgive yourself.

Forgiving is the key.

I’ve been noticing how easy it is becoming to let the majority of things go when it comes to myself and others. Family, friends and people I’m associated with deserve to be treated with respect. They just do. They make their own choices and whether they learn from it or not, it is still my job to be kind while they go through their own process. That’s my job, to be kind. I had a guy tell me that a few years ago in therapy and it has been the single greatest piece of advice to date. The only way to do that I’ve found is to keep moving forward. Holding onto the flaw in someone, while everyone is flawed? Who did I think I was back then? Someone with no flaws? I have to have a solid judgment when it comes to what I allow in my life with people, but I also have to give people a break. Everyone is struggling to make it in this place.

Damn right I’m proud to be where I am. I’m sure not the guy I was. In each moment I’m just going to focus on kindness. It’s been working. If I fail, I’ll see it.

2 thoughts on “It’s Okay

  1. Thanks so much for this brilliant post, Damon. It couldn’t have come at a better time for me as I’ve been feeling very weak, both physically and mentally . . . hence the reason I haven’t been around much. I’m glad I looked in today and got to read this and glad that you’re doing so well. All the very best for 2022!

    Liked by 1 person

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