There seems to be a situation I run into a lot with people, and it is a sure thing that I’ve had to dig deep in order to acknowledge within myself. It is the way people end up not being what we want them to be, even though we seem to think they should be, and how we become an emotional disaster because of it.
I guess it is a bit troubling to take a good look back at some of the ways I’ve been. The stupid choices made and decisions based upon an unobserved emotion led me into some pretty shady predicaments. Wisdom sometimes comes from really bad experiences. I have an ongoing desire to seek out a man whom I’ve developed a deep disgust for. The dude leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. The blog is so full of a front that he tries to keep up in order to disguise the true nature of himself. Not a genuine person. I’ve read between the lines for so long, and this stupid veil of the religious, how should I word it, brilliance that he displays for the brainwashed has provided a wonderful space for him in the world. Even though, he is probably a very hard man to get along with in real life. The few personal things I’ve read about his relationships with people outside of the blogging community has convinced me of him being a pushy and pompous jerk. Probably full of himself to the nines. Perhaps? I do know that I would never want to know for sure. Anyone who calls themselves nicknames has a twisted ego. I even know a guy who speaks of himself in third person. Anyway…
It is just a terrible situation for the blogger and me. One won’t budge from their narrow view of a god and the other won’t allow the guy to just be. I prod at him often, and I don’t know why? If people want to believe in unicorns or a Savior from their aches and pains, why do I care? The dig to understand someone else leaves me bewildered because I don’t even understand this desire to go to his blog and scratch my head over his reasoning. I suppose he and those people truly believe the book. Of course, I believe that it is full of lies. We both won’t change, yet both of us think the other should. Why do we desire to see other people be the way we think they should be?
What I like about the Jesus dude, whether the man was truly around or not, was the wisdom he displayed of the human condition. He knew just how ugly people were, and he also knew the importance of forgiveness. We have to remember that forgiveness keeps us out of the trouble we will always find ourselves in, whether with the unforgiven or within ourselves. The kingdom of heaven, I believe, is within us. Some believe it is over there somewhere, but I think heaven is within. Heaven, meaning, letting go. Let not your heart be troubled by the fickle and ever-changing heart. People are a multitude of dichotomies, riddled with reasoning that can change for the strangest reasons. That goes for every single human on this planet. I think Jesus knew that. His forgiveness message tells me that the greatest heaven there is resides within us all, and it is the understanding of us all being pure outside of the junk we become because of our own minds. If we hurt, we become hurt. If we are aware of our hurt, we can achieve the blissful essence of our universal purity–that essence of whatever it is that stirs our consciousness. I don’t know if that is worded the way I’d like, but it’s close enough. The benefit of taking a look inside to see what is going on, and why, goes a long way.
We just have to remember that individuals are not stable. They have an evolving brain that takes them down some winding and weathered roads. Just be cool, you know? Let shit go. It’s better for everyone. Or, carry stuff around that destroys you and everyone around you. Your energy, your choice.