The personal ways I sometimes choose leads me to different paths that are part of the experience, and I like to reflect while the emotions do their thing. I’m at a place of peace, because knowing how the emotions work and why/how they go on wild rides periodically has opened up the place many try to find, sometimes for a lifetime. Seeing how the world experienced can and will shift those feelings and emotions around is now known in its inescapable veracity. It is just part of us. Unfortunately, I’m no master of controlling myself as they take root, sometimes holding on for longer than I’d like. But I do know that joy resides, because it is now at core, while this surface crap runs its course. Emotions come and go while being thankful for the beauty of life within and without is beheld. We just can’t let the mind bring us into an inescapable rut.
My God, but what do you do when someone else, someone you love, isn’t willing to get out of that rut?
I’d love to help someone I love. There is nothing in the world I’d rather do in the current days. Their mind is the enemy. I cannot change the person to see the things I know are true about what I’ve written here. They cannot see the light because the veil of dark is thickened to the point of hopelessness. And really, really, I’m giving up on hope for the person. No amount of advice, kindness, incentive, suggestion–literally nothing within me is helping anymore. Sometimes writing about how well it is going for me since the newfound epiphany of mind and thought is like thumbing my nose at people, because I do have a heart, but when you say it to someone like the person I know, who’s already in despair, I feel like a piece of crap for voicing it. Yesterday I got so upset because I read through the pity and excuses they’ve made, and my mouth wouldn’t keep shut. I stated facts about their failures, which I could tell had hurt them, but I am so tired of hurting over their hurt. I refuse to accept anything outside of the truth of their matters, the sheer baloney, quickly destroying them from the inside out. But the outside-in is destroying them. I hate it! They have told me they really have no purpose here anymore. Do you know what that means?!
Emotions can take you to the finest places, or they can chip away at you and take you into a cold and early grave.
There is only one way to do this life for me, and it is to keep the awareness of thought at the forefront, because I’ll be damned if I ever fall for the tricks I’ve fallen for in my past. The cleverest enemy I’ve ever known is the one typing this out. I never knew the devil and the good angel on the shoulders as being the emotions fighting for a place or say, because the belief of heaven and hell kind of predetermined a constant suffering, with a ravishing Savior at the finish line. The game we play with ourselves is one of serenity or distress, and it lies within the mind.