Thinking Aloud—Too Proud

God, why are your people so righteous? They believe in righteousness, but fail in its definition. Tit-for-tat — is this your wicked plan? A lot of talk, little show. Lord, don’t be upset if I find it repulsive to be as your people are: Perfect… Yet, The pursuit to find your perfection in them, lingers. I thank you for you and for what you are! … Continue reading Thinking Aloud—Too Proud

The Value Of Sunny Days

Checking the weather forecast is certainly something I take for granted. To see beautiful, sunny days with given percentage chances, on the news or an app, is a marvelous thing! When I see little symbols that show a sun, or a sun with a few clouds surrounding it, my life changes!! Just being lighthearted. In all seriousness, I truly do love a sunny day in … Continue reading The Value Of Sunny Days

Volatility

People bumping off of people never real time for themselves Thoughts consumed with what the other thinks defined by someone else     Competition in their nature a little more than the rest A thought to decide for themselves shot down by the next They go on believing they’ve won the race to find another mile around the bend Running ahead of the next to … Continue reading Volatility

Walking Along…

One with the elements, we are the same. A part of a whole. Everything we see and touch… Yes, we are the same. Same elements–different combinations… In you and I–the same building blocks of life and object… Walking along, I realized that we are one with all things… Shorting ourselves with insecurities, forgetting that we are part of that whole. Locked in with limitation. One … Continue reading Walking Along…

When We Are There

Looking at all that had been, he stared into the shadows of years gone awry. Like the meeting of silhouette on sunlit grass, his life swayed with unpredictable certainty. His lingering sorrows of a love lost, blown somewhere into the abyss of airy blue, above the shades of regret he knew. The cool of downing light–a temporary peace. The man was only human– as fragile … Continue reading When We Are There

Fell Off The Wagon…Again

I’ve been practicing an old habit in recent weeks. Habits. They form. After trying something initially, and unknown desire drives our diversely-structured brains to feed upon it. To continue. Some of them are beneficial, while others are not so good. In my particular case, a habit that I once held closely with a firm grip, slowly reared its destructive head within the last few weeks. … Continue reading Fell Off The Wagon…Again

Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 2 of 2)

When I say, “heart,” I suppose I mean the inner being of myself. The soul–the thing that is driving this flabby, muscly, bony body. The magic that keeps me alive, if you will. Truly, the whole God thing really tugged at me, causing great mental and physical distress. The whole experience became an obsession. I had to figure this stuff out. The thing is, I … Continue reading Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 2 of 2)

Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 1 of 2)

Before the world of a young child is illuminated by its own imagination, wonder, and all of the other blessings the new brings, the child usually has the opportunity to learn some basic fundamentals. Whether it be from a parent or guardian, most children will learn to crawl before walking under a watchful eye. As a little tyke begins to take interest, the mind unfolds … Continue reading Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 1 of 2)

Feed Us

The world has its way of kicking us when we’re down. The little things that eat at us are amplified by the hurt within others. Narcissistic screwballs–the oblivious and conniving –look at all with their rose-colored glasses, correcting the foolish. All of mankind is broken. Yet, the ones who know what’s best for everyone else are too stupid to realize. The most ignorant are sometimes … Continue reading Feed Us

God and Man (His War With Self)

Little brains bringing pains Giant pointer The moron blames Better than An upper hand Knock ’em down before they stand     The way I see me and me Your way is dumb You should agree   Human you are Under me by far Idiot Thoughts bizarre   So so blind The tales you find Thinking life is craft By design   Monkey man Think … Continue reading God and Man (His War With Self)

Observing

How other people view us, really, isn’t relevant. It seems as though the last several years have brought a focus that wasn’t as prominent as it had been in years past. Popularity of social media, the lax commutations we have adapted, such as texting, tweeting and so on (anything one can identify as means), has really changed society in negative ways. With it all, a … Continue reading Observing

Humanity Harvest

Gathering the nourishment– picking from poisoned bush– we place our selection in the basket of reason. The berry appears so tempting, so ripe, with sweetness to indulge. Juice like wine. Pallet of splendor. The taste of a dream we’d rather not wake from. We knew we were poisoned from the beginning– yet, we ate. We didn’t care. We boldly placed our selection in the woven … Continue reading Humanity Harvest

Beneath

The trees– greater than ourselves. Towering above us all, concerned with no one else. They take what they like– the sun and the moon. Hiding beauty of the heavens. Reaching deep into their room. Greedy is their nature. Robbing lesser one. Laughing at the weaker. Having all the fun.     The bird of grace and diligence took away the pride of the thundering tower … Continue reading Beneath

Where Darkness Lies

“I don’t understand the darkness” is a statement someone had made regarding my chosen style of writing. Throughout the past few years on WordPress, I have poured myself out through text. As a helpful tool I had used while evaluating my personal cognitive complexity, writing later evolved into a passion. I began to write of experiences, thoughts, my walk with God, as well as poems … Continue reading Where Darkness Lies

Ethic

Willingness to adhere to one’s own “norm” can sometimes lead to big trouble. I must say, the last few years have been a challenge within my personal life. In many aspects, I have learned to change. These aren’t subtle changes, as they had been a huge part of who I was as a person. As I share, keep in mind that these specific changes have … Continue reading Ethic

The Voice He Hears (Part 18)

“Michael, do yo..” “NOT, NOW, MOM!” She pulled her head back away from the stairwell and stomped through the kitchen. He could hear her murmur coming from different ends of the house as she moved about. “Love you!” He then heard the door slam. As he listened to the car speeding away, he let out a long sigh. Nothing was real. He couldn’t come back … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 18)

Wasteful Thinking

What does it do for you, to think on such things– the squander and morose. All the haste that it brings. Nothing is achieved, except the misery you teach. Mundane and jaded. My, the woes you do preach. Does it pay in the end to lose all you’ve gained? That beautiful laughter? The grip you maintained? A challenge has come, and you fold, with a … Continue reading Wasteful Thinking

The Voice He Hears (Part 16)

The angel began to speak into Mike. He could hear the being, without words. Without a necessity to understand. It was showing Mike the small frames of his father’s life. The past; a young boy in an environment of desecration. The vision of his father being beaten and molested by a woman he called his mom. While her husband was away fighting a war, he … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 16)

The Voice He Hears (Part 15)

Michael, maybe ten, was in the street playing with a childhood friend. Anna was the blond with the sky blue eyes. He remembered well. They were the eyes that saw what his father would do to him, when she found them one summer day inside the dugout. It never left Mike’s memory. The recurring dream of the event would come to him throughout his years. … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 15)

The Voice He Hears (Part 14)

Like any seasoned drunk, he had to have a drink. Mike cracked open the bottle of Gin he’d been sitting on since June. His agitation, along with the familiar withdrawal, was relentlessly picking. Day turned to night, and the moon was rising above the treeline on the edge on the field behind the house. He poured the drinks quickly, and often. Mike ordered the pizza … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 14)

The Voice He Hears (Part 13)

He was watching the darkness turn to light outside. He’d been sitting at the window in the kitchen for hours, desperately trying to make sense of it all. Mr. McBride was gone. The beautiful visions of unexplained phenomena, followed by the terror of his nightmare. He couldn’t do anything but stare. Moving about, he took himself to the basement. Not sure of what time it … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 13)

Now

Time is nothing Not a thing It has no beginning or end Only defined by what we bring It has no form Yet we see it this way We use the sun The night and day It is used in aging In whats and whens We use it out of context again and again People live somewhere within it In its menacing hold They pick … Continue reading Now

The Voice He Hears (Part 12)

The heartbeat–his, yet, only in ambiance–muffled the oncoming carriers of torches. The flames breached the horizon as Mike felt the heat long before due. The darkness was now giving way to the subtle glow, but calefaction was intensifying. Mike observed the skin on his arms as they started to boil and bubble. He felt hell approaching. One wink. Michael was surrounded by skeletal horses driven … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 12)

The Voice He Hears (Part 11)

He was in the other world; the dreamscape. Manifesting before him, at close proximity, were short scenes of his life. Within the darkness, and as though the scenes were lighted by spotlight, the past began to appear. He was standing beside a little boy that was at the feet of his arguing parents. Although there was nothing audible, the fighting was evident. He just watched … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 11)

The Voice He Hears (Part 10)

How Mike could be seeing himself as a young man in the face of the old man was an anomaly, and the bizarre peripheral spinning only added to his astonishment. The light, and this time, a silhouette of what appeared to be an angelic creature came into sight. It was as if the light was an opening of some sort behind the man–as though the … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 10)

The Voice He Hears (Part 9)

“Well, Mike, I have been trying to get ahold of you for a while now.” He assumed that it must have been Mr. McBride weeks earlier knocking at his door. “Get ahold of me?” Mike was still in a state of intense bewilderment. The series of events involving this old man–a person who’d shown up in a dream before showing up in his reality, sitting … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 9)

The Voice He Hears (Part 8)

With a half-smile and an obvious response of confusion from Mike’s partial question, the old man uttered, “Hi, uh, I’m looking for Mike Sandersen. Are you Mike?” Mike was so confused by the whole thing–the man from his dream, now, standing at his door and asking for him. He was speechless, and the haze of the alcohol wasn’t helping the whole situation. “No,” Mike replied, … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 8)

The Voice He Hears (Part 7)

He actually enjoyed spending the time with his mother that morning. She had brewed a strong Colombian coffee, prepared blueberry pancakes and scrambled eggs, just for him. His favorites. They talked about the one time dad had actually been nice when he hugged them both and said that he loved them, right after his mother had passed. It was a non-existent phrase from his mouth, … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 7)

The Voice He Hears (Part 6)

He creased his eyes and played with the sunlight as it danced within his lashes and watery vision. His thought of an angelic apparition composed of sunlight was quickly passed off. He didn’t believe in angels, anyhow. Angels–the things he once believed were possible–were simply from another time in his life, back when his mom and dad were still a thing. Back when his childhood … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 6)

The Voice He Hears (Part 5)

The sound of his own voice was beginning to irritate him, let alone those of the few that he would hear from. Jobless, lazy as all get out and so full of lame excuses, left unlimited time for him to stew in his misery. The deep-seated resentment of a questionable origin was now his identity, unbeknownst to him. The seasons came and went. His mother … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 5)

The Voice He Hears (Part 4)

He was not the man, or in his mind, the boy he once had been. He was no longer the company everyone loved to be around–the happy-go-lucky, sarcastic prick that had a heart for the outcast. The one people would talk to about their problems, knowing firsthand that he would give them straight feedback. Genuine, honest words. He had no idea where he now stood. … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 4)

He Is, Always.

“He is risen!” The headline of the day is flooding our cyberspace, thoughts, gatherings (although limited during quarantine) and hearts. We, as Christ followers, are celebrating a day that is considered sacred within the eyes of so many. Each man and woman in His body has a certain way of looking at this day, and each heart is in it for their own individual reason. … Continue reading He Is, Always.

The Voice He Hears (Part 3)

But, the knock at the door returned. The unknown visitor, relentlessly, beat at that door. Still, by no means, was he willing to get up to answer it. The beating would continue throughout the night — in his dreams. In the smolder of his chain smoking when the eyes wouldn’t stay shut. A single knock, from a possible friend, came and went on the August … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 3)

The Voice He Hears (Part 2)

They comfort him, all of these faithful friends. The threads of nonsense. The musical talents he wishes he could greet at the end of their sessions. The lukewarm Rum. With each day, while tucked away, he binds to the melancholy. A glimmer of hope knocked on his door on an August morning, but he didn’t answer. It was too much like work, peeling himself off … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 2)

The Voice He Hears (Part 1)

Running away. That’s what he’d always been good at. Ever since he was boy, it was a necessity, finding those places to run to. A thick book of fantasy, the bottle of Rum, or, perhaps, the twisted perversions most dare to mention. All of the lies he would tell himself. The escape artist, basking in the light of seclusion and unreasonable reason. Flash-forward to the … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 1)

My God…

Pilate asked, “What is truth?” Jesus replied with, “I am.” Yet, they need more than that…  Lending God a hand.   Move over, God, men have found more to add. They interpret your truth, negating what you had. It’s way more complicated than a simple faith in you. So many educated scholars, telling others what to do.   Oh, God, so many men have robbed … Continue reading My God…

To The Followers

The first thoughts (as the coffee welcomes me) are the focus of my morning writings. It is the way that each day begins which encourages me to peck away at these keys. If I’m exhausted from the previous day of labors, I usually spell it out through the frustrated choice of word. If I’m cool, you get cool. If I’m amazed by His craft, you … Continue reading To The Followers

Behind those Foster Grants Of Life

It is interesting to see how the emotions play such a huge part in our experiences. I turned on my computer this morning to see a small monkey gripping firmly to a tree branch as the Windows program was booting up. Random pictures appear in this process, and they are usually accompanied by a few words to draw interest that pertains to the image. Anyway, … Continue reading Behind those Foster Grants Of Life

Lord

BOLD is the word that we use. Bold is the look that have upon our face as we accuse. BOLD is the finger of contempt. Bold is the authority that we claim to hold in our lordly attempt. BOLD is thinking we have the right. Bold is the correction we sternly give to their internal fight. BOLD is not lowly. Bold is the silent killer, … Continue reading Lord

Exposed

What I’ve seen within the past few weeks is the true colors of our race. Some are flaunting what they have acquired, while others give freely, with grace.   Many are panicked, pushy and unfair. A few are courteous, and they genuinely care. Troves are ungrateful, even though the money still comes… They never notice the unemployed–their daughters and sons.   Chaos created by a … Continue reading Exposed

Our Rivers

The bleeding heart: never void of the coming and going. Taking in–thrusting forward. The life-blood faithfully jaunts, replenishing; renewing. A carrier of our drive; a river of nourishing fare. Vital. Not critical. Tolerant. Here we are: bias and unfair… Nothing like the blood that we all share; unlike the blood sent abroad by the bleeding heart. Continue reading Our Rivers

Rise

I think I’ll look for peace today. Not worrying about the panic and the current, stressful way. I think I’ll enjoy the songs of the birds outside my door, and see the beauty in someone that I’ve never seen before. Maybe I’ll catch the sunrise as I’m heading towards the east– capturing the calm that, for a time, had sadly ceased. I think I’ll look … Continue reading Rise

The Feed

Fear is waiting in the shadows, and it patiently watches you. It takes its seat a few chairs down. You go on without a clue. Closely, it observes your routine. It studies your schedule. It has an endless time to plan ahead, never losing its cool. It uses tools that you feed upon, like the devices you willingly watch. It uses the writings upon your … Continue reading The Feed

All The World’s A Stage

I have this human experience, yet, I am of spirit. It is interesting to think about: the unlimited ways in which we are fully human. Can one describe the complexities of the human experience without becoming exhausted? It would take years to do so. It is evident that people spend most of their time in the human form trying to figure and make sense of … Continue reading All The World’s A Stage

Late

Foolishly, we wait. Along the roadside of our expectations, we wait for someone to rescue us from our despondency. We wait for the new day to bring the same somethings that have been available to us all along. We wait for a change, to satisfy, with the hope of it staying for more than the familiar sojourn. We wait there, at the shoulder of our … Continue reading Late

Palpable Pudding

So many different voices. You can hear their life in the chatter. A crowded room full of people. Food and drink is the serious matter. Refueling for a day. The coffee poured in porcelain mug. Scraping of a plate. Women gabbing over what they love. A cough followed by more hacking. The air is full of breath. We eat and breathe together. Enjoying progressive death. … Continue reading Palpable Pudding

On Fear Street

The haunted houses I used to visit were some of the scariest places on earth. The homes were filled with the same things that you could find within the usual home: pictures, appliances, furniture. The parts of the familiar when it pertains to daily necessity. Pretty lively places, overall. At certain times, though, the demons would manifest. The fiend would take on many forms. A … Continue reading On Fear Street

Keeping My Love Unlimited

The biggest problem I have with my own faith is seeing and knowing absolutely great and loving people, and being forced to believe they are going to hell because they don’t necessarily believe what I do. It’s not limited to those outside of Christians, but within the confessing community. It bewilders me when I think about how the Lord blesses the world with so many … Continue reading Keeping My Love Unlimited

Eventual Sands

His stones were getting heavy. He placed them on the ground. A little relief from the intensity. He stood and studied what was found.   He took a seat next to them. He rummaged through the stones of time. Some were smooth and full of character. Others were roughened by his crime. One was stained with blood of an enemy. Another, riddled with diamond trace. … Continue reading Eventual Sands

Burned Alive

It’s not about the things in them you hate, it’s about the things in you that obliterate. You longed to fix everyone outside, as you took a look at yourself and lied. It’s much easier for you to blame, than to see what’s truly fueling hate’s flame. Everyone walked away after trying, but you just wouldn’t listen…. Now, you’re dying. You played with the fire … Continue reading Burned Alive