Gaining My True Joy, In Steps

Everything is, for most of us, perceived (in a conceptual view) through the filter of mental emotional conditioning of the past. In turn, it is how we identify ourselves and the world in which we live. This results in only being aware of the object consciousness, and not the space consciousness… The silence between thoughts, or space consciousness, is what I’m learning about. Continue reading Gaining My True Joy, In Steps

Sad Eyes

I sometimes search for names of old acquaintances on the Internet, just to see what may pop up. Last night, I had thought of an old co-worker and his very unique humor. He always wore these ridiculous green pants to work. We were in our teens and working the restaurant in the 90’s. I found that he went on to earn his PhD, while I … Continue reading Sad Eyes

Lesson

So many times throughout these last few weeks, I’ve found myself having to take control of the wandering thoughts. These thoughts, which in turn lead to the emotions that have absolutely ruined my life in years passed, have been making their way in. It’s mysterious: the thoughts that I know that I don’t need have a way of inching into my efforts of keeping them … Continue reading Lesson

Eyes To See

The only thing I knew at the time was the fact that my soul was in need. The beginning of the past week was like most of the previous ones. A new work week had me longing for the weekend well before noon on Monday. I was prepared for what the beautiful forecast on Saturday would deliver. Yesterday morning, I packed up a few things—not … Continue reading Eyes To See

More Distractions

This quiet home on a Saturday morning is a marvelous thing. My wife was on her way home from her shift at the hospital while the kids were away at their grandparent’s place. I had just sat down to the first sip of coffee as I listened to the low hums of my surroundings. Birds were mostly silent as they hunkered in their hidings. It … Continue reading More Distractions

Not Knowing How

The raw truth of our matters aren’t always what we desire to confront. I sat in front of a pulpit today and listened to our old church pastor lay it out for us: the familiar talk about the love of Jesus accompanied by pastor’s personal bashing of how sinful everyone is. We were at a relative’s funeral service in a church, having to sit through … Continue reading Not Knowing How

Hurtful Truth

I’m the crazy one? Being diagnosed with psychosis isn’t sometimes easy for the recipient. It takes a lot to admit that something may be a little off within the brain and that one would benefit from medications. I’m one of them, and I can assure you that getting past the initial pride that opened the door to healing was a difficult season. In the long … Continue reading Hurtful Truth

Yeah…

At 2:59 a.m., I sit a type out the truth of my life. It is not of any use to anyone but me, but being able to do so helps. I’m tired. My back has been hurting for the last eighteen or so hours and I am up way too early. I have to work all day and, to be honest, I would call in … Continue reading Yeah…

Considered

Perspective is so distorted by an individual’s fear, I am finding. For a great majority of my own life, fear played a huge part. It was always there. It had its say no matter what aspect or time period of my youth had manifested. These times are remembered with great vividness. Fortunately, there is a contrast now that looks nothing like those old days. I … Continue reading Considered

God For Sale

I’m beginning to understand God a bit more via the works and beliefs of a delusional religious man and his faithful followers. Unfortunately, a self-proclaimed “prophet” has been in and out of my interests as of late. I was introduced to Curt Landry through a friend. The friend was forwarding me video links a pushy co-worker had been sending him. He and I could do … Continue reading God For Sale

Creative Perspective

Never being one to get too involved in things that distract me from the natural world has been a beautiful way to live life. Isn’t life beautiful? Many would surely disagree. If one were to look at the media, listen to the conditioned voice of fear that is so prominently gripping the way we view ourselves and our worlds, understandably, little beauty would be recognized. … Continue reading Creative Perspective

Fraidy Cat

As I watch the world pass by, I wonder why people are so afraid of themselves? I’ve been hung up on this “pride” thing, lately. After recently writing posts relating to the pride we all possess, I have been going over the topic in my head all week. I keep coming back to this question of why most people appear to be insecure and afraid … Continue reading Fraidy Cat

Every Degree

Noticing the pride we all share had me thinking about the degrees in which it affects us, both personally and as a whole. After reading a few words from another blogger, I took some time to clear my mind. Thoughts of the varying degrees of one’s personal value of self, both inwardly and outwardly, and with both negative and positive connotation, provided necessity to have … Continue reading Every Degree

The World Isn’t Kind

If it were up to me, I would keep my mind shut off from the constant battle between…good and evil? I really cannot say what has transpired in recent weeks, but there is a residual feeling of uneasiness that has been hanging over my head. Sometimes it is difficult to say with certainty that it is an attack of the supernatural (i.e. Devil), but something … Continue reading The World Isn’t Kind

Pruned

As I peered into the back yard yesterday through the basement door window, thoughts took shape. A certain epiphany, in connection with the purpose of my place in objective and subjective reality, sparked a chain of bewilderment. As I studied the recently butchered Maple–the trunk left, with branches cut away–and the memory of its once, regal brawn, I thought about my place here. We took … Continue reading Pruned

Bent

It was nice spending some time with the family tonight. Christmas has now come and gone, but the headlines just read had an impactful message that I am still trying to wrap my head around. Another bomb in Nashville, TN, on Christmas Day, was the story. Trump playing golf, avoiding the necessities, as usual. Covid-19 hospital workers sacrificing their time away from families in order … Continue reading Bent

Honestly…

Keeping the distance from most is probably what is best for me. There is a difference within us all, I believe it is fair to say, when it comes to the relationships we have with others. Loved ones, friends, acquaintances–all have their places within our own perspectives. We all decide accordingly pertaining to how we should handle each one of them. I have been thinking … Continue reading Honestly…

Tidings

It’s not difficult to look around and take this life of mine for granted. I sit this morning in an easy chair and observe all these accumulated objects that fulfill some kind of undefined necessity. It has me thinking about the days when things were much different. Throughout the many years, things have come and gone. Objects, people, places and thoughts. Even typing, I look … Continue reading Tidings

Why I Do Not Write

It has been a few years now… A blog was suggested by a friend on a social media site. I was continuously posting my thoughts–mainly of my new-found relationship with Jesus–on the feed that everyone had access to. My beliefs were firm and assertive, and the way I wrote each post was somewhat controversial. After all, there were many whom did not possess a belief … Continue reading Why I Do Not Write

Ready To Fire

It hurts to see what I don’t like about myself in others. When a realization paralyzes me to the point of having to stop for a moment and collect myself, it truly hits a nerve. The other day, I had an experience that took me back to an earlier time in my life. A single derogatory word was thrown into the atmosphere, intending to make … Continue reading Ready To Fire

Moving Day

I’ve been spending time of mornings away from the writing here at WordPress. Writing is just not as useful to me as it once had been. When I started this blog, I had a goal: share my personal testimony, with the hope of others seeing the glory of God through Jesus Christ within those accounts of my life. My road has had many ups and … Continue reading Moving Day

Emptied

Silence is best at times. I haven’t been writing as much. The life outside of a small screen has had so much to show me. Recent times have brought about a calling to see just how quiet I can become. Is it what they call, “zen?” I’d say so. My wife and I just took a very long drive through three states, admiring the natural … Continue reading Emptied

For ‘Good’ Reason

Simply put, in my personal perspective, some people are bored as hell. I don’t know why I drift towards reading the posts of a man whom I no longer follow, but I do. I guess it is because of his need to destroy the world with his judgment? I really can’t stand to see a mere man pointing the finger at everyone while thinking that … Continue reading For ‘Good’ Reason

Theo And Benny

Take a few minutes… https://www.cbsnews.com/news/utah-boy-halloween-skeleton-best-friend/ It is a nice story in these current times. I believe Theo has his priorities in perfect order; a two year old boy has more sense than a lot of the adults that are roaming the planet right now. I did my usual surf of the newsfeed this morning after opening my search engine. The nearing presidency is taking up … Continue reading Theo And Benny

Guess I’m Not, ‘Cause Someone Said So

I have a stalker! What an ignorant man I must be! The guy on the other end (the stalker) must think that I have no way of knowing when he has viewed my posts. Newsflash: I see you! It’s unbelievable how wrapped up we can become in others. Having means to do so has increased tenfold via means of the wonderful world of technological advances. … Continue reading Guess I’m Not, ‘Cause Someone Said So

Mud Pie

For me, being patient is developing by observing others whom are not. My word, the mudslinging is definitely going on within the world! Even if you are completely oblivious to the political debates here within the states, you don’t have to travel far to see how common deliberate condemnation is. Unfortunately, it’s built into our human nature. Struggling with demons of the past was the … Continue reading Mud Pie

Shame On You!

Why are people prone to believing that their way is the way? That’s the question I have been asking myself this evening. It is a question I often ponder. And, for starters, I am talking exclusively about the way of personal belief in and of Christian apologetics. I am really disgusted, like many other times in the past, with the views of a few individuals … Continue reading Shame On You!

Rooted In Being

What good staying away has done! There are many things that I have been straying from, and I couldn’t be more satisfied with where it has led me. For starters, I was spending way too much time within the devices we are all hooked on, like some sort of back alley junkie. Always needing my fix of the mostly phony facade. Looking through the screen … Continue reading Rooted In Being

It All

Wouldn’t it be nice to remove it all? To take all of the pure filth we are exposed to each day and throw it away? To recognize the dumb stuff we do to fit in to a society of competition and comparison– now so, more than ever, with all of the social media and misinformation– and see that we are really only competing with ourselves? … Continue reading It All

Diary Entry

I woke up. It was enough for me this morning to just be grateful for waking. Taken for granted, most days. Yesterday had its own worries and blessings, and I am assured today will be the same. She has a new diagnosis. She read about the devastating effects the shit could very well have on her. At worst, fatal. Watching her lock herself in the … Continue reading Diary Entry

Dumpsite

I was taking a stroll through the world’s landfill last night. A giant hill on the north side of the neighboring city is where all of our garbage is taken. Trash is dumped there, and maintenance workers cover it with dirt. The mountain has been building for many years, and it almost mimics a scene one may find in the Appalachians. I remember visiting the … Continue reading Dumpsite

Beyond Compare

When we display ourselves on our own shelves, what do we suggest? Me statements, I statements… ‘Yes, I must confess! Part of me wants to love you, I really do, but my ways are best. It’s not fair, yeah…I don’t care. Life and people have screwed me! Self absorbed? Well, you know who I’m really for… I am the best.’ When we display ourselves on … Continue reading Beyond Compare

Spaces

I stood in the backyard this morning and admired it all. The weather was cool, and the sun hadn’t yet breached the eastern face of the treeline. I took my advantage. The breeze had a few things to say. I peeked through azure, and the moon was saying its last goodbye. The Cockscomb were visited by a flying fleet. The Pine was silently at play. … Continue reading Spaces

Bad Medicine

Writing is not as therapeutic as it once was. I believe, in many ways, writing is an excellent way to process emotions. Unfortunately, my emotions have had a lot of control (probably due to the fact of being bipolar to a certain degree). I’m beginning to recognize how writing, while dwelling on the topics I choose to write about, more often than not cause me … Continue reading Bad Medicine

Obscured Observance

People need content. They need something to think about. Less than a week ago I had decided to stop blogging for an unknown period of time. The things that I was allowing into my life, via posts I had been reading, were causing me to get very irritated. During my temporary hiatus, I have noticed that more people are actually following my blog. Well, they … Continue reading Obscured Observance

Better Days Ahead

What a sad and cheerless world… I’m getting closer to being done with WordPress. My decision may change in time, but due to most of the posts lacking any sort of inspiration, I’m thinking about hanging it up. The walk along the road lead me to a choice to blog. With Jesus in mind, I began writing about how His provision was/is a part of … Continue reading Better Days Ahead

Just A Man

I looked into the eyes of a man in a photo this morning. He is an esteemed leader in a mega-church. Thousands of people love his teachings of the Bible, and they respect his rank of Senior Pastor within the church. “Senior Pastor” is a title that the world has crafted up based on our merit system. Nothing to do with the Bible, but that’s … Continue reading Just A Man

Finding

The ability to see that we’re nothing more than elements bonded like all things before But unlike the inanimate I realize this fact and how realization is possible isn’t exact The mind made from dust same found in space searches for answers to this puzzling place People speak of genius and ignorance flip side but no one can answer how we live and die No … Continue reading Finding

We’re All Going To Die!

The real killer is not COVID-19, it is fear. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, fear is the driving force the world thrives upon. I cannot go anywhere or read anything without recognizing it. Usually, the fear turns into some other form of emotion, such as hate. I read a post from a woman last night on Facebook that had me boiling. She, … Continue reading We’re All Going To Die!

Again…

The morning opened with a familiar sin. Crawling out of bed was quickly greeted by the weak and tired mind being obscured by a sin that I continuously struggle with. It’s not surprising. I know full well just how bad the particular vice I struggle with is, yet I sometimes give in to its tempting pull. It’s no excuse, I know. If we are called … Continue reading Again…

Fear Prohibits

Presently Not a waiting game Nothing to unfold Only a space in a name… Labels for our physical We must identify Missing the present Behind our corporeal lie… Weaving the fabric Missing what’s beyond Figuring and factoring We lead ourselves on… Trueness is missed Our need for a need Silence dismissed Our presence is greed… Most can’t escape Many have not a clue… Removal of … Continue reading Fear Prohibits

Tuned

I am sitting this morning and noticing the aches within my body. It’s early, and the day ahead will bring much more of the reason for my physical soreness. Being a laborer five days a week, as well as usually wearing myself out at least one of the days of the weekend, has a way of physically breaking me down. This morning, the majority of … Continue reading Tuned

Substance

A few nights ago, I had a terrible nightmare that was all-consuming. Do you ever have that type of dream that is lucid and so realistic that it seems as though it is actually happening? Where you wake the next morning, questioning the true reality of your existence? Well, this nightmare was one of those. I suppose it had been the questioning of certain aspects … Continue reading Substance

Where Ends Meet

After a long work week, I spent some time cycling along the roads of the city. There are lots of neighborhoods, rural roads, wooded areas with dirt trails, and the streets I used to frequent when I did live in my hometown. I choose to ride in these areas because it is good for my thoughts as I take in all of the oxygen. Cardio … Continue reading Where Ends Meet

Yet Separated

I lookout into a stretch of lot. The stones lie beside one another. Connected by the adherence of composition; a substance of cooperation. Unlike the lot of stability, I saw the people parked and traveling upon it: nothing like this lot of cooperation. Not bonded together to make one. Not at all like its stability. It’s interesting how the same elements we share with the … Continue reading Yet Separated

King Of Pain

The past few days have brought me a few realizations that had not been completely embraced, until now. Spending a good amount of time alone is something I’ve learned to deal with. For the past three days, I have been taking a break from work. As my wife has been working third shift and sleeping the majority of the rest of the time, and as … Continue reading King Of Pain