Now

So much sadness fills the hearts of people. No time for the fruits of His Spirit. You know, love, joy, peace, and so on. The opposing is rather forceful, it seems. The demons we possess–both past, present, and anticipated future–contaminate the light, pulling us into those places that no longer exist… Just in our heads. The heart aligns with those places. The opposing is familiar. … Continue reading Now

Bitching:

There’s really no other word for it. A woman in front of me is sticking her neck out and complaining to a stranger about her new car having a defect of some sort, as the man behind me is cussing his way through complaining about the line we are all standing in. We are at the BMV. There are a number of people—over twenty of … Continue reading Bitching:

Change

Before light, my mother would wake me on school days. After the alarm wouldn’t manage to budge me from my coma, due to the evening of drugs and alcohol the night before, her persistent voice would fill my room. I recall the usual routine of sitting at the sofa with the candy dish that I used as an ashtray, while flicking my ashes from the … Continue reading Change

Harassments

Out of all the things there are to focus on, people gladly choose the hell of the world. A man whom I have worked with for many years is really showing his true self lately. Every single workday I can hear his troubled voice, backed with his boisterous theories, spreading the negative to others. Twenty, thirty, or possibly even more minutes are spent on his … Continue reading Harassments

The Value Of Sunny Days

Checking the weather forecast is certainly something I take for granted. To see beautiful, sunny days with given percentage chances, on the news or an app, is a marvelous thing! When I see little symbols that show a sun, or a sun with a few clouds surrounding it, my life changes!! Just being lighthearted. In all seriousness, I truly do love a sunny day in … Continue reading The Value Of Sunny Days

Monday

There used to be a few people in my life that would do everything within their power to bring others around them down. Unbeknownst, these individuals had a poor grip on their own reality. With every miserable breath they took, the misery was exhaled. It was so sad to watch. What was even worse was the willingness I had to allow their sadness to rub … Continue reading Monday

Polychrome

Created are the atrocities Inventions of the mind Beyond our control Within check at times Practices can manage Chemicals may heed Chemistry is a riddle Understanding is the need Past will perform Vivid stage play in memory Present screen play in monochrome Flushed by what used to be Instability is the writing on their paper See how it will go… Take two, then come back … Continue reading Polychrome

The Clenching

How truly hard it is to genuinely be a kind man. I work with a mix of personalities, mostly men. Being a full-time worker, I end up spending more time with them than I do my own family. It is sometimes very hard to not focus upon errors that occur. Our jobs are intricate, and they are expected to be conducted in a harmonious manor … Continue reading The Clenching

Returning

The body cannot keep up with the mind. Heart races when anxiety thinks it is time. Topics of old peel scabs that took years to find. We count facial lines.   Time took away the agility we took for granted. The youth and avant-garde–once graciously handed. Aged like the wine, yesterday, now demanded. Discomforts–mine, yours–leave us enchanted.   Shouldn’t we dwell upon such things as … Continue reading Returning

Fell Off The Wagon…Again

I’ve been practicing an old habit in recent weeks. Habits. They form. After trying something initially, and unknown desire drives our diversely-structured brains to feed upon it. To continue. Some of them are beneficial, while others are not so good. In my particular case, a habit that I once held closely with a firm grip, slowly reared its destructive head within the last few weeks. … Continue reading Fell Off The Wagon…Again

Observing

How other people view us, really, isn’t relevant. It seems as though the last several years have brought a focus that wasn’t as prominent as it had been in years past. Popularity of social media, the lax commutations we have adapted, such as texting, tweeting and so on (anything one can identify as means), has really changed society in negative ways. With it all, a … Continue reading Observing

Hinder House

Locked away, the man sat with only his thoughts. He ate from the cans he’d packed away, counting down–each bite, each number from the label. The water he’d rationed spilled to the floor in his fit of anger. A candle–dimming, much like his soul–burned away in the corner of his space…. Alone. He spoke to the angels that would visit him. They spoke in ways … Continue reading Hinder House

Exposed

What I’ve seen within the past few weeks is the true colors of our race. Some are flaunting what they have acquired, while others give freely, with grace.   Many are panicked, pushy and unfair. A few are courteous, and they genuinely care. Troves are ungrateful, even though the money still comes… They never notice the unemployed–their daughters and sons.   Chaos created by a … Continue reading Exposed

Rise

I think I’ll look for peace today. Not worrying about the panic and the current, stressful way. I think I’ll enjoy the songs of the birds outside my door, and see the beauty in someone that I’ve never seen before. Maybe I’ll catch the sunrise as I’m heading towards the east– capturing the calm that, for a time, had sadly ceased. I think I’ll look … Continue reading Rise

NOOOO!!!!

Please, add some depression to our depression! By all means, make the voice of the media your new obsession! Open your mouth as quickly as they! Turn off your own thoughts and listen to what they say! Think on their fearmongering words while running for cover! Suffer even more as the anxieties hover! Tell myself and others so we, too, are distraught! Destroy the peace … Continue reading NOOOO!!!!

Fast-Forward

Whatever happened to scabbed elbows? Dirty knees? Jumping into lakes and climbing trees? The call of the mother from the front porch swing? A half a dozen kids all playing the same thing? What happened to Fireflies gathered together in jars? A friend of a friend who was a friend of ours? What happened to the youth that remained the same for so long? Back … Continue reading Fast-Forward

Wilted Woes

Spring is returning. The budding life — for a time, lying dormant — is rejoining the world. The sun creeps to its higher position, forcing the land to transitions. The voice of bashful life is practicing new song… And, for me, the dormancy remains.   Why is it not as rejuvenating as the last spring? Is it the load that has been carried since the … Continue reading Wilted Woes

That’s Just You

Perhaps I’m a self-centered prick? Saying and doing the things that make others sick. Perhaps I’m a little bit fed up? Willing to stay within the rut. Maybe I’m a little unkind? Repulsed by the attitudes that I find. Am I a terrible man? It seems that only a few are a fan.     Perhaps I’m a kindhearted guy? I just have trouble getting … Continue reading That’s Just You

Inside Out

Everybody hurts. This I know. I’m hurting lately. This face does show. Not entertained. Temper is short. People are annoying. Emotions contort. Tired of religion. Fed up with the Church. I’m looking for Him. Worn out from the search. Routine is redundant. Weather does suck. Sunsets aren’t peaceful. Down on my luck. Real talk this morning. Don’t need your prayer. It helps to write. Don’t … Continue reading Inside Out

Feeling Like Doo-Doo

Today, thanks to the spreading of germs, I am sick. Ugh. I didn’t sleep well, have a fever and the beginnings of congestion in my head. I’m not sure what my stomach is planning on doing? Overall, I feel like doing nothing but typing out a few things, lying in my recliner and sipping some coffee. We all have gotten sick at one point or … Continue reading Feeling Like Doo-Doo

Perfectly Imbalanced

At 3 a.m., I sit and truly wonder why I do some of the things that I do. After a long work week, and after only about four hours of sleep last night, I woke to begin enjoying the rest. Weekends are my time to reset, refuel and actually be okay with not staying busy. Being “okay” with the rest is something that took a … Continue reading Perfectly Imbalanced

Descension

Anxiety stricken Beating heart On the verge of falling apart Nerves are shot Sweats and shakes Clinching this disaster as the still ground quakes Try to breathe Close my eyes Nothing works and it’s no surprise Everyone wonders why I’m exhausted now They offer advice but they don’t know how Ease today Doc pushed the pill Come back next month for another bill Pill wouldn’t … Continue reading Descension

Gone Fishing

I figured I’d write how I honestly feel, as writing has become how I personally deal. Inevitable sins in which I commit, accompanied by sadness and true feelings of s?@t. Throw in mental problems that I’ve battled so long and receive the pure dread of hell when I’m gone. Church screwed up my head and pride of the men who claimed they were “called” brought … Continue reading Gone Fishing

I Sometimes Wonder…

What makes us who we are?   Is it the outward appearance? Is it the display for the rest — varying in ways that are specifically crafted for each one we meet? Is it the talk and the walk — the good show we can knock out of the park? Is it the experience? The knocks? The comforts of love found within the moments of … Continue reading I Sometimes Wonder…

My Lord, My Friend

Rest assured when facing a trial that God is with you even while the people aren’t there when you need them most The one’s who’d promised would rather host their own importance Entertaining ego They never call or stop in They have reasons you know But God is there always and He knows all the pain that you’ve carried along as you’ve received their disdain … Continue reading My Lord, My Friend

Placidity

The peace one can find when not bombarded and worried When the body is easy When the mind is not hurried   A quiet eve by the fire A glass in hand Beautiful music on low so moving and grand   A day with a friend catching up on what has come Two separate lives in the moment as one   A hug from your … Continue reading Placidity

I Don’t Know?

If it weren’t for the faith I have in Christ removing all sin — past, present and future — I’d give up. Yes, you heard that correctly. I’ve had several days off of work, and it was supposed to be an extended weekend — to myself, mainly — full of rest and relaxation. For the most part, it has been. I’ve done things that I … Continue reading I Don’t Know?

The Foundering

Your said that to yourself yesterday, did you not? That truth that is, again, the lie? You’d promised yourself, and God, that you would not break, but your chance to prove it passed by. You said to yourself it would all end. Repentance is what you labeled your aim. But look at you — back it the same boat. The same sinful act and shame. … Continue reading The Foundering

Stay Inside

The chilling wind carrying rains of darkness, beating upon the world. It brings the memories of mornings, without; a time when life was much like the calamity outside — no light for sight. No cover for the damp. No insulate for the chilling condition. What if the day brings promising light with the same calamities? Like those days of old.   “Ambient radiance?” No. Just … Continue reading Stay Inside

Through The Thorn

I find myself walking away, pretty often these days, from the madness others create in my personal malaise. Sometimes, the ways of others pulls me down to a familiar land. A place where I once walked in ways I can no longer stand. They call me to come along with them; to embark in ways of old. They say, “for old times’ sake,” but misery … Continue reading Through The Thorn

The Abuser

He beats the weakened man who cries to himself, when alone. He pushes him into the open where stones are thrown. He calls the man a failure, and reminds him of his shame. He reminds him of should haves and could haves, and those bad choices that fuel pain. This man is relentlessly pushing the man to fear and doubt, but the ridicule and slander … Continue reading The Abuser

Psalm 73:26

When you are blessed, the world seems at ease, and when you are not, the stressors increase. Wonderful life when things are okay, but a punch in the gut begins slow decay. Count all your blessings… SHUT UP! You’re not me! The neighbor you love is blind and can’t see how the pain is now growing inward — and quick. They offer a suggestion, but … Continue reading Psalm 73:26

Nothing Left

The boy of the past who lived in a home where comforts were seldom and while left alone he’d cry for his mother who stayed out all night after her shift she’d head for the light of houses tucked away in the cities and towns to smoke up her poison and then run around a little bit longer to hit up the bars laughing and … Continue reading Nothing Left

Is That Right?

Misinterpreted words can make or break the man. They can plant their feet on solid ground, or disturb the places where they stand.   Do we spend more time communicating, or analyzing limited text? Do we know what our neighbor is trying to say if we don’t hear what is next?   We assume based on the limited and things get in the way, like … Continue reading Is That Right?

Downtrodden

Some people remain bitter They cannot move past the pains The wounds drag the person down each day as the suffering remains Something to numb that discomfort Each day they find a way Maybe a needle full of poison Or a hateful word to say Perhaps a shaking fist at God for allowing such things to exist Such a powerful God should be able to … Continue reading Downtrodden

Fragility

The mind can destroy a man as it sits idle The voice it produces begins as a whisper gaining speed– now, as loud as the tornado tearing through the moment ripping through the shelter: the one the mind believed could withstand it all…   Fill it with noise.   Stimulate it with these things you find: Temporary whispers Fleeting tornadoes Welcomed torments Say goodbye to … Continue reading Fragility

Silent Waves

The valuable time of peace in a moment of time alone is a treasure I have grown to love after all the troubles I’ve sown A time not long ago when torment had its place my world of disarray left scowl upon my face The way I viewed the world would rob the longing for joy The hole inside my heart filled with that which … Continue reading Silent Waves

If I May?

May I interrupt your constant need to dwell upon the pain Yes, your misery loves the company please don’t tell me again   You enjoy the things of sorrow I know… you’ve said it loud and clear Tell me something else today something you don’t want to hear   I’ll open the door of the prison that is nothing but a space a place inside … Continue reading If I May?

Eternal Calm

Silencing the mind hearing the natural sound Peace in the stillness loud chatter all around A cicada sounds its tymbals The bird has its say in their place of the light illuminating new day Why should I worry about the stressors ahead It changes nothing I remember what He said… “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life…” He goes on to … Continue reading Eternal Calm

Today’s Youth Counts

The fingers were used to show this little, undeveloped mind of mine how to count. I remember, “One, two, three…” as someone would point to the fingers on my hand. Over time, I could count to one hundred, or two hundred, or three hundred! You can probably remember how excited you were being able to show the grown-ups how you had learned to count higher … Continue reading Today’s Youth Counts