Change

Before light, my mother would wake me on school days. After the alarm wouldn’t manage to budge me from my coma, due to the evening of drugs and alcohol the night before, her persistent voice would fill my room. I recall the usual routine of sitting at the sofa with the candy dish that I used as an ashtray, while flicking my ashes from the … Continue reading Change

Nothing

Thrown into their madness. The child never had a chance. He wasn’t given an option. Victim of circumstance. No happiness, early on. No place to be a kid. He was forced to learn too early by watching what they did. Was it just a part of life –this newness he was seeing– to hit another person; to scare and scream when meeting? Each time, he … Continue reading Nothing

The Public Announcements

I am exhausted. Not physically, but mentally. It is just before 5 a.m., and I am already there. It didn’t take long for me to arrive here. I tend to avoid social media in the morning, as I have found that it is getting to be less about sharing the personal joys of family and friends and more about slandering, with some really distasteful content … Continue reading The Public Announcements

If We Build It…

It has been a very exhausting few weeks. I can honestly say that I have a problem: I’m a workaholic. It could be that I am an addict in the stage of denial (sarcasm), or it could be that I just love to use my acquired skills to create, provide and see the finished product. I just love to use the hands that God gave … Continue reading If We Build It…

As The Heart Pleads

My heart has changed through a way of love I now choose to see the other unfortunately not always but most of the time as a close and respected brother   My heart has changed through a way of compassion I now see the trouble we share I sometimes question why people are hurt but for them I say a prayer   My heart has … Continue reading As The Heart Pleads

The Gift Of The Unknown

As I wake this morning, I sit and wonder why I exist. Is there a bigger plan that I am somehow a very small part of? I believe so. I believe we all are. Somehow, we are an intricate part of a divine whole. I do mine, you do yours, and somehow, the end result has purpose. Just my thoughts. But, is this great working … Continue reading The Gift Of The Unknown

A Table For Two

I was right on time yesterday for the lunch date I had with her. As I walked in the door at the local dive we had agreed to, I glanced over the room to find her. At the corner of the room, she was sitting in a booth, positioned to where she would easily be able to see me come in. As I noticed her, … Continue reading A Table For Two

Willingness

In the middle of our season we wonder what and why We toil within our efforts not pleased with how we try Something could’ve been better than the way we gave our all The decision at the time was the only way we saw Regret and hurt is hanging over the head of human way We start to judge ourselves over the choice of yesterday … Continue reading Willingness

Collaborate

I passionately choose to discuss the subject of divisions within His Church. The last few posts I have written, as well as several prior, attest to this. For the last couple of days, I have chosen to not put anything into word and just observe what unfolds. Sometimes, too much focus upon one subject can obscure a vision that is waiting to be seen. It … Continue reading Collaborate

‘Check, Please.’

As I was sitting in on a sermon at the church my family and I were attending several years ago, which just happened to be right before I was deciding to become what the institutionalized church refers to as, “a member”, I was finished with the nourishment provided. After a several-course meal of the spiritual foods I had never tasted before, throughout a run of … Continue reading ‘Check, Please.’

Placidity

The peace one can find when not bombarded and worried When the body is easy When the mind is not hurried   A quiet eve by the fire A glass in hand Beautiful music on low so moving and grand   A day with a friend catching up on what has come Two separate lives in the moment as one   A hug from your … Continue reading Placidity

Now, Class…

Why do we try to figure God out? The question had crossed my mind this morning as I was resting in my Saturday recliner. There has been a few conversations and articles I have read that have raised the question, and I have been thinking deeply about what drives the mind to “understand” the true nature of God. So, what is it? Is it the … Continue reading Now, Class…

I Don’t Know?

If it weren’t for the faith I have in Christ removing all sin — past, present and future — I’d give up. Yes, you heard that correctly. I’ve had several days off of work, and it was supposed to be an extended weekend — to myself, mainly — full of rest and relaxation. For the most part, it has been. I’ve done things that I … Continue reading I Don’t Know?

In Layers Of Our Time

The fall of the leaves The lighting of sun’s fire The walk within the forest that I do so desire They bring back many memories of what was for so long in time that will never return with family and friend now gone We had our winsome moments around this time of change in years that will never return and this year it feels so … Continue reading In Layers Of Our Time

Days Of Old

I visit the places from the wonder years — around the streets and drives of my past. Down the walks around blocks once journeyed. Somewhere in time, they still last. A bit older and a bit wiser — I long for the days with Dad. He lived in the heart of the city, and now I see why he had. Peaceful and quiet neighborhoods, little … Continue reading Days Of Old

Departure

I watched a young man and his little boy play around a shopping cart as they waited at the bus stop. I wondered, as I watched the little boy, if we return to the same sort of innocence when we move on from this life. I wondered if the life to come will hold the same childlike innocence the boy was exploring. While watching him, … Continue reading Departure

Break Fast

We wake at dawn to find what we did not know last night Welcoming what is to come as we witness changing light The mind is slowly waking taking in the many ways Those things that will become the memories are now forming in our haze A cup of stimulant to wake us The brewing smell of bean A lovely mug of the idol we … Continue reading Break Fast

If I May?

May I interrupt your constant need to dwell upon the pain Yes, your misery loves the company please don’t tell me again   You enjoy the things of sorrow I know… you’ve said it loud and clear Tell me something else today something you don’t want to hear   I’ll open the door of the prison that is nothing but a space a place inside … Continue reading If I May?

A Talking Love

It’s very difficult for me to really trust someone to the point of being able to fully share my heartaches. There are things that I am consumed with that only a select few and the Lord know about. Yesterday, I was able to give away some of those things that have been weighing on my heart. My beloved wife and I had a few minutes … Continue reading A Talking Love

“Life just sucks” – My Journey

A previous writing of mine. Not that I feel that life sucks right now, but things sometimes change, making life a drag. The post is for the broken. It is for those who are at a point in their lives where affliction has taken control. Take heart: God is always with you! https://my-journey-online.com/2018/09/27/sometimes-life-just-sucks/ Continue reading “Life just sucks” – My Journey

What The Morning Holds

I remember a time when the light of day was a burden. A completely dreadful time. It was the beginning of another day of worries, anxieties, worthlessness and hopelessness. Each time I would rise in the morning began a course that ushered in the nightmarish realities of my existence. I had to take action. Their is a quote from a fictional character in a movie, … Continue reading What The Morning Holds

What I’ve Seen

I was going through some of my pictures this evening. Some are very personal. Some are things that I find interesting. Some are just images I have captured throughout my days. I hope that you receive something from them. Blessings to you! (Copyrighted Images)               Continue reading What I’ve Seen

Arising

Our front porch is probably one of my favorite places to experience peace. The morning has much to tell from this little place of comfort. If I could express in words all of the constant chirps that surround the area. It’s like a symphony of harmonious chatter; a natural beauty that is created by God’s amazing creatures. We have many trees that shelter our families … Continue reading Arising

His Hands

There is a certain feel when it comes to being up early and not having to rush to do anything. No work must be performed. No thoughts of what I have to do within the day ahead. Nothing to do but listen to the rain on the tin roof along the back partial of our home as the birds sing, enjoying their free bath. Nothing … Continue reading His Hands

No Prayers Answered

Yesterday, I had made the mistake of saying something to a blogger that sent he and several others into a defensive rebuttal. I suppose I should have expected it. I had told him that his constant blasphemy (his ongoing blog directed towards how one is wasting their time seeking God, based on his own personal experience) would someday come back to haunt him. I was … Continue reading No Prayers Answered

Hearing His Voice

“That’s just a coincidence.” “You really think that was God? Man, you’re delusional.” “Your conscience is leading you. That’s not God.” “There’s no God. Why would he allow all of the wrong in the world?” “God loves me, no matter what your Bible says.” Perhaps you’ve heard, or thought, or have believed some of these things? I read an interesting piece another blogger had written … Continue reading Hearing His Voice

Your Place In Line

A recent video I had viewed of a woman being upset over having to sit next to a man who is a Trump supporter had me shaking my head in disbelief. The woman was seated next to the man on a plane. She was demanding before takeoff to flight personnel that he be relocated to another seat, simply because she did not support Donald Trump. … Continue reading Your Place In Line

The Pain That Heals

This past Saturday night, my beloved dog of ten years died. He was probably one of the best dogs in the world. Of course, any dog owner would probably say the same about their own dog. He was a huge blessing to me, especially when I was all alone at an all-time low within my life. His comfort, warmth, playful personality and willingness to always … Continue reading The Pain That Heals

We Cry Out

I have a dog that is dying. He is losing weight rapidly, will not eat and only drinks occasionally. His medications aren’t working. Last night, he cried for hours. A hard fall off of our outdoor steps left him with an injured spine several weeks ago, and now his whole body is deteriorating. The doctor does not know what to do at this point. Blood … Continue reading We Cry Out

What We Are Owed

“But I’m entitled!!” Have you ever heard someone say this when it was clearly not true? It may not have been with these exact words, but the statement, or focus, was based upon their self-importance? I think I have not only heard it, but have also thought and said it at the most inappropriate times. There is currently a little boy who believes the entire … Continue reading What We Are Owed

Fear Not (Part 3)

As I viewed myself and came to the conclusion of never being able to stop sinning, all the while knowing that it is impossible to stop, the uneasiness lifted. The lashes I was left scarred with from the whipping I had encountered within religion were just reminders of a once, very unhealthy relationship. The reasoning I was deciphering God with shifted within me. A very … Continue reading Fear Not (Part 3)

Fear Not (Part 2)

This time alone taught me many things. It was the first time I had fully trusted in the Lord’s plan for my life. I had nothing left to lose and nothing but so much to gain through His wisdom. Wisdom: that which began with that healthy fear that I was speaking of. So what did I now begin to see within that new definition of … Continue reading Fear Not (Part 2)

Fear Not (Part 1)

I have been thinking so much about fear lately. So many professing Christians seem to be consumed with it. Specifically, the fear that ensues when one’s pride stands in the way of the Lord’s peace. But honestly, I can see why so many live within a constant fear. Here is my personal testimony of why I once had. When I began to view the very … Continue reading Fear Not (Part 1)

Nothing In This World Lasts Forever

It is currently seventeen degrees Fahrenheit outside, and I suspect it feels much colder than that when the wind blows. I’m sitting in front of a little space heater providing comfort for my tired feet. My family is sleeping in our warm home. The hot coffee warms my body. The electric light is dim, yet it provides a nice ambiance for early morning. Somewhere outside, … Continue reading Nothing In This World Lasts Forever

When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 3)

The introduction to meth was not something that I really enjoyed, but it was the new habit. On top of the everyday pot and cigarette habit, I had to have a little corner of a sandwich baggie filled with chemicals. It was the necessary way to go about the day because not having it meant withdrawal and hard crashes. I would go for days at … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 3)

When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 2)

I had found something that made life more interesting. Every time I smoked, reality became a beautiful, enhanced, calmed, humorous and lovely experience. I needed more of that within my life. The building sadness was starting to consume me more and more as I was spending time within a quiet little trailer with my grieving mother. She was going through her own measures of trouble. … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 2)

When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 1)

High school was the beginning of an absolute nightmare. When I began attending a very large building packed full of young men and women with competitive drive and talent in the early 1990’s, I viewed myself as independent. A bit different from most of those around me. There were so many directions I could go. I was fortunate to attend such an esteemed school. I … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 1)

Do We Listen? To Whom Do We Listen?

There is one thing that continuously bothers me, probably more than anything within my walk as a Christ follower, and it is those who think they know everything there is to know about God. The Biblical scholars, theologians and prophets. The ones who relentlessly debate, throw their man-made doctrine around, argue versions of which Bible one should be reading, and how one is, or isn’t, … Continue reading Do We Listen? To Whom Do We Listen?

A Place of Peace

Saturdays are sometimes the very best days to take a little time to unwind. The long work weeks have a way of draining me physically and mentally, but that is something I value. It is never a disappointment to come home from a long day to see the rewards. Warm coffee, a peaceful song in my headphones to drown out the noise of a fussy … Continue reading A Place of Peace