If You Don’t…

It was a bad night. Some very frightening events, that now lie still this morning thankfully, were another reminder of just how quickly our lives can become something that is completely unsettling. The last few weeks have changed me. Yes, the dross metaphor my father had once talked about—those life changing moments that are skimmed away revealing a different perspective beneath, or within—has been evident … Continue reading If You Don’t…

I Woke Up

After listening to Mr. Alan Watts tonight, it is evident to me that what the last few weeks have illuminated is a direct reflection of what he had spoken of. There have been times throughout those weeks of mine, involving a handful of certain individuals, that have served up the evidence to back up the words I’d heard from Mr. Watts tonight. And to save … Continue reading I Woke Up

Whatever

The days are being challenged by a lingering, deeply rooted, intense and frustrating emotional attachment. My mom is killing me. Literally, it seems to be taking the life from me. It is not a constant ordeal, because suppressing it is what my brain is doing in order to keep going with the peace that I’m determined to remain in. But that brain of mine, well, … Continue reading Whatever

Someone’s Nonsense

The day is already off to an uncomfortable start, because I went to bed last night feeling awful and now I’m sick. It’s been a while since I’ve been under the weather and it’s also been a while since I’ve written anything. Guess I’ll take the time to do so since moving sounds like something I’d rather not do today. This blog and the WordPress … Continue reading Someone’s Nonsense

What A Gig It Is!

Weekends are somewhat not busy for the majority of the time, and being a laborer throughout the week, well, that is just fine with me. If I can just relax and do things I enjoy for a while, then the refresh button seems to make life much easier come Monday. Friday night began with a painting session, which I’m now obsessed with, and I crafted … Continue reading What A Gig It Is!

The Identity Dissolve

I had a hard time yesterday with a decision. Probably one of the biggest challenges I’ve had in months. But it was through the final decision made that I felt the pull, while then challenging myself to make it through. This particular thing that was poking at me was something that had been prevalent in years before–once again it reared its ugly yet tempting head. … Continue reading The Identity Dissolve

A Few Good Men

A rule that seems to surround masculinity is the necessity of not showing too much emotion, especially if it is one of love, compassion or empathy. My dad was probably the hardest person I knew. He had the typical attitude a lot of cops carry. A hard man, from what I remember. It wasn’t a surprise, now that I’ve grown older and seen what the … Continue reading A Few Good Men

You Win

It has been in my head lately that most people have a desire to one up the universe. The natural flow of things is somewhat difficult to put into words in context to what I mean by the desire to get it over on the universe. Simplistically, I can say that humans need to feel comfortable while facing the unknown. I thought about this all … Continue reading You Win

We Are One

It was too late to give his wife the husband she deserved–he was too busy pleasing himself with another woman. The kids had plans for Christmas morning, but mom and dad were passed out from the Heroin high. The lady in the cafe was upset with the man pacing the sidewalk. He was begging right outside the window where she sat. She had to get … Continue reading We Are One

All Is Well

If it weren’t for acceptance, I don’t know what each day would be like? Looking back on an old post this morning had a way of showing me a change in myself. When it comes to the approval of my audience, I find myself not really caring anymore. In the earlier writings, there was a focus that many would find interesting, for the simple fact … Continue reading All Is Well

A Matter of Fact

Saturday mornings often seem to be a time of reflection, especially the first few minutes upon waking. I sat in the kitchen staring out of the window while thinking about the many moments that have collected throughout the past week or so. There were so many “ways” that I recaptured as I stared hard into the treetops outside. Ways. It is the ways in which … Continue reading A Matter of Fact

I Am – A Poem/Meditation by Rupert Spira

I amI have no words to express Myself but all words express only MeI have no meaning but impart meaning to all that is perceivedI am without beginning and end but all things begin and end in MeI have no name but am called by all namesI have no form but all form indicates MeI have no origin but am the origin of all thingsI … Continue reading I Am – A Poem/Meditation by Rupert Spira

In A Time

The Vince Guaraldi Trio version of Christmas Time Is Here once made me shed tears of sorrow when hearing it. I lost my grandfather in December of 2000. He was the man who I looked at as my true father. It was tough watching him slowly wither during that winter. While being sad because of grandmother’s recent passing, as well as watching grandpa suffer from … Continue reading In A Time

Eden

Nature showed me the true definition of love. I have been walking in nature for as long as I can remember. It always furnished a peace that wasn’t achievable in certain times throughout the life at home. Growing up with my grandparents, the neighborhood provided the safety for exploration. I could walk the creeks and trails of the wooded areas, climb rock faces at the … Continue reading Eden

Little Me

Sometimes the thought of being me makes me cringe. How many times have the streams of thoughts been focused on the many dimensions of me? Too many, that’s the number. It is so stupid anymore. I have these days of self analysis that leave me completely worn. One of those days being today. The thoughts that I observe are constantly being criticized by me today. … Continue reading Little Me

I’m Really Powerless Without Faith?

Wondering why it is so hard for people to accept the way things are outside of what they can change, and why they selfishly want “God” to change it, the following thoughts consume me. What happened in the evolution of man? What convinced the world of needing a god with whiskers in the sky to look to for comforting? It seems to be a terrible … Continue reading I’m Really Powerless Without Faith?

Firmly Gripped

The experiences of a life gone by have surely made me who and what I am in the present moment. I made a comment on a fellow blogger’s post last night, and now I’m thinking they took it the wrong way. That is what happens in the blogging world. We type out a few words and send them on their way. Very little to study, … Continue reading Firmly Gripped

Sweet Resilience

Hidden inside the box, life was much easier.  In ’97-’98 I was living with my father, but I think I began to notice those things that struck me as odd before moving in. The visits to his dumpy duplex in the middle of a very run-down part of the city always seemed to put me in a peculiar state. Pulling up to the grey and … Continue reading Sweet Resilience

Falling Back

The progression of the setting sun really had me realize just how much truth there is to only having the present moment, and all other moments only being in the thoughts we have. Last night was a great experience here in the Ohio valley. The golden Autumn hue resided upon all of the magnificent colors that we find throughout Indiana. The reds and rusts are … Continue reading Falling Back

Brass Tacks

The introspection has lessons to teach if we allow it to do so. I’ve been fortunate the last few days, and it is through the pain that I’ve come to a few realizations. My work schedule has been put on hold for five days. While listening to music and spending some time reflecting on the many facets of my life, I’ve concluded a few facts. … Continue reading Brass Tacks

All Of The Noise

The constant stream of “talking” within the head sure has a lot to say. It is truly amazing when one encounters a personal breakthrough that alters the way he or she experiences their world. That has been the case for me this year. A medication has been removed in recent months, and even though I am incredibly thankful for the blessing of having it when … Continue reading All Of The Noise

Closure

After some thought about this morning’s post, I’ve decided to keep the blog up and running. There was a great deal of fatigue earlier in the day. The evening before was a rough one for me. I didn’t sleep well last night, and the tired mind had a lot of pull on the early day’s writing. I spend so much of my time consumed with … Continue reading Closure

Thinking Of You

“You have to take the good with the bad.” I remember a friend of mine saying this many years ago. There is no telling what the situation was at the time that served as the reason why he had said it to me, but the simplistic truth of his statement still resonates. There was a big life-altering situation that occurred last night. I sat outside … Continue reading Thinking Of You

Mr. Emotion

The sheer ridiculousness of the human mind has been the topic this evening. Of course, the choice to read through WordPress followed sites led me to the writing here tonight. By choice, I’m unloading some harbored thoughts. It helps to get things out once in a while. Since no one else is here, and since the keyboard is, I am going to share my thoughts … Continue reading Mr. Emotion

The Fallible Form We Know

The last few days have been a challenge, but isn’t that what this life is anyway? Long story very short, the build up of intolerance towards a very unnecessary habit of another led to me going off on them. I had enough of an individual making fun of every person we are both acquainted with. The habit–one exactly like my own in the past–was effecting … Continue reading The Fallible Form We Know

No Guarantee

There is a blogger who likes to conclude his posts with the words, “Something to think about.” It is a religious blog. Each week the posts are sent out into cyber space and arrive, like this one, in front of an audience to be analyzed. The recipients then have the chance to agree, reject, or remain neutral after digesting the writing. The something to think … Continue reading No Guarantee

Flat Earthers

It was interesting to see so many truths unfold just by observing others within the last few weeks. Nothing needed to be said to them, for any dispute or correction that could have been offered would have caused a defense. I’ve found that persuasion is becoming so prominent anymore, and while listening to the voices of several in recent days, the deceptive manipulation is warping … Continue reading Flat Earthers

Lights

It was another arduous work week, but the end of Friday was an enjoyable time out on the many streets within the city. I brought the bike with me and cycled for just shy of two hours. Today, it is being felt. The noticeable healing process has slowed in the current run of my decay, but yet I still find myself being in much better … Continue reading Lights

Oh, God!

It occurred to me today that writing is just another form of identifying myself. At this time, even though I recognize the blog as an extension of my ego, I will keep the platform up and running. Although, it is not something that I absolutely must have like it had been at first. Just a few years ago the belief of needing a place to … Continue reading Oh, God!

Fade

A friend is being taken off of life support today. I can’t help but wonder why we cannot forgive the past—both our own mistakes and those of others. The man going away today had so many reasons why my ego wouldn’t allow him to be a little closer in the latter days. I couldn’t handle his substance abuse. Yet, I sit and think about my … Continue reading Fade

Energy

I sat this evening with many different energies at work within their spaces, and I realized that we are of that same energy. The science doesn’t matter, but whatever creates our energy surely fills our space with a grandeur that is always in motion. It shall all be enjoyed, indeed. Continue reading Energy