Eden

Nature showed me the true definition of love. I have been walking in nature for as long as I can remember. It always furnished a peace that wasn’t achievable in certain times throughout the life at home. Growing up with my grandparents, the neighborhood provided the safety for exploration. I could walk the creeks and trails of the wooded areas, climb rock faces at the … Continue reading Eden

Little Me

Sometimes the thought of being me makes me cringe. How many times have the streams of thoughts been focused on the many dimensions of me? Too many, that’s the number. It is so stupid anymore. I have these days of self analysis that leave me completely worn. One of those days being today. The thoughts that I observe are constantly being criticized by me today. … Continue reading Little Me

I’m Really Powerless Without Faith?

Wondering why it is so hard for people to accept the way things are outside of what they can change, and why they selfishly want “God” to change it, the following thoughts consume me. What happened in the evolution of man? What convinced the world of needing a god with whiskers in the sky to look to for comforting? It seems to be a terrible … Continue reading I’m Really Powerless Without Faith?

Firmly Gripped

The experiences of a life gone by have surely made me who and what I am in the present moment. I made a comment on a fellow blogger’s post last night, and now I’m thinking they took it the wrong way. That is what happens in the blogging world. We type out a few words and send them on their way. Very little to study, … Continue reading Firmly Gripped

Sweet Resilience

Hidden inside the box, life was much easier.  In ’97-’98 I was living with my father, but I think I began to notice those things that struck me as odd before moving in. The visits to his dumpy duplex in the middle of a very run-down part of the city always seemed to put me in a peculiar state. Pulling up to the grey and … Continue reading Sweet Resilience

Falling Back

The progression of the setting sun really had me realize just how much truth there is to only having the present moment, and all other moments only being in the thoughts we have. Last night was a great experience here in the Ohio valley. The golden Autumn hue resided upon all of the magnificent colors that we find throughout Indiana. The reds and rusts are … Continue reading Falling Back

Brass Tacks

The introspection has lessons to teach if we allow it to do so. I’ve been fortunate the last few days, and it is through the pain that I’ve come to a few realizations. My work schedule has been put on hold for five days. While listening to music and spending some time reflecting on the many facets of my life, I’ve concluded a few facts. … Continue reading Brass Tacks

All Of The Noise

The constant stream of “talking” within the head sure has a lot to say. It is truly amazing when one encounters a personal breakthrough that alters the way he or she experiences their world. That has been the case for me this year. A medication has been removed in recent months, and even though I am incredibly thankful for the blessing of having it when … Continue reading All Of The Noise

Closure

After some thought about this morning’s post, I’ve decided to keep the blog up and running. There was a great deal of fatigue earlier in the day. The evening before was a rough one for me. I didn’t sleep well last night, and the tired mind had a lot of pull on the early day’s writing. I spend so much of my time consumed with … Continue reading Closure

Thinking Of You

“You have to take the good with the bad.” I remember a friend of mine saying this many years ago. There is no telling what the situation was at the time that served as the reason why he had said it to me, but the simplistic truth of his statement still resonates. There was a big life-altering situation that occurred last night. I sat outside … Continue reading Thinking Of You

Mr. Emotion

The sheer ridiculousness of the human mind has been the topic this evening. Of course, the choice to read through WordPress followed sites led me to the writing here tonight. By choice, I’m unloading some harbored thoughts. It helps to get things out once in a while. Since no one else is here, and since the keyboard is, I am going to share my thoughts … Continue reading Mr. Emotion

The Fallible Form We Know

The last few days have been a challenge, but isn’t that what this life is anyway? Long story very short, the build up of intolerance towards a very unnecessary habit of another led to me going off on them. I had enough of an individual making fun of every person we are both acquainted with. The habit–one exactly like my own in the past–was effecting … Continue reading The Fallible Form We Know

No Guarantee

There is a blogger who likes to conclude his posts with the words, “Something to think about.” It is a religious blog. Each week the posts are sent out into cyber space and arrive, like this one, in front of an audience to be analyzed. The recipients then have the chance to agree, reject, or remain neutral after digesting the writing. The something to think … Continue reading No Guarantee

Flat Earthers

It was interesting to see so many truths unfold just by observing others within the last few weeks. Nothing needed to be said to them, for any dispute or correction that could have been offered would have caused a defense. I’ve found that persuasion is becoming so prominent anymore, and while listening to the voices of several in recent days, the deceptive manipulation is warping … Continue reading Flat Earthers

Lights

It was another arduous work week, but the end of Friday was an enjoyable time out on the many streets within the city. I brought the bike with me and cycled for just shy of two hours. Today, it is being felt. The noticeable healing process has slowed in the current run of my decay, but yet I still find myself being in much better … Continue reading Lights

Oh, God!

It occurred to me today that writing is just another form of identifying myself. At this time, even though I recognize the blog as an extension of my ego, I will keep the platform up and running. Although, it is not something that I absolutely must have like it had been at first. Just a few years ago the belief of needing a place to … Continue reading Oh, God!

Fade

A friend is being taken off of life support today. I can’t help but wonder why we cannot forgive the past—both our own mistakes and those of others. The man going away today had so many reasons why my ego wouldn’t allow him to be a little closer in the latter days. I couldn’t handle his substance abuse. Yet, I sit and think about my … Continue reading Fade

Energy

I sat this evening with many different energies at work within their spaces, and I realized that we are of that same energy. The science doesn’t matter, but whatever creates our energy surely fills our space with a grandeur that is always in motion. It shall all be enjoyed, indeed. Continue reading Energy

Consumption

It was a humbling experience in recent days that had me stepping back in order to reassess a few major factors within myself. The ordered blood tests from my doctor were due before the upcoming visit with her next week. I arrived at the lab early Wednesday and they withdrew the desired amount. I received the test results a few hours later and did not … Continue reading Consumption

Is The Boy, “Saved?”

Identification seems to be instilled from a young age. At the time of receiving a given name and understanding that we are to be addressed as that name moving forward, we identify ourselves with a title. It was a another long hot week here in the Ohio Valley. Rains late within the week brought cooler temperatures and people out of their air-conditioned places yesterday evening. … Continue reading Is The Boy, “Saved?”

The Enigma Of Being Comfortably Uncertain

There was a truth that presented itself this afternoon on my way home from the workplace. Maybe it was more of a collection of truths? As any reader could probably gather when visiting the blog and especially the last several posts, my focus has shifted to the acknowledgment of just how much I identify myself with mind: the voice that never stops chattering within me. … Continue reading The Enigma Of Being Comfortably Uncertain

True Value

In a recent visit to an old acquaintance’s website, I was again left with thoughts of inferiority and superiority swirling around within me. The religious blog, specifically that which is built around Christian Apologetics, is sometimes a place I visit just to see if the writer is still stroking his own ego. You see, the writer and I once had a go-around which ultimately led … Continue reading True Value

In Attendance

It goes against the very grain of me to live in the Now. How often it has been throughout my life to go off into a time that only exists within my head; in memories of another now. The times when I had or went without. Times when things were not as good, or maybe better. Forgetting and most times ignoring those past times as … Continue reading In Attendance

Trustworthiness

I saw the universal truth of every living thing within my recent experiences. There is something outside of my work routine at the place of employment that pulls me into the natural world outdoors. For the last few weeks I have diligently been working on our landscaping. It is satisfying for me to spruce up the flower beds, as well as beneficial when putting out … Continue reading Trustworthiness

My Personal Observed Digest

Life is actually designed to challenge us; to work against us. It is not designed to work with us. We experience a bad situation (financial, relational, etc.), resolve or overcome it, and another one soon arises. When we expect life to work in our favor we experience pain and unhappiness. It’s a delusion to think that the world will do good for us if we … Continue reading My Personal Observed Digest

Rising

My grandmother and I used to watch a television show called Nature on PBS when I was growing up. A narrator would talk about the animals and ecosystems from around the world, while the cinematic visual stimulations would leave my grandmother and I in awe. “God made that,” I remember her saying. While we focused our attention on the animals or plants being described, we … Continue reading Rising

No Help Wanted

I find it puzzling to see just how many people are resistant to others helping them in ways that would benefit them. I’ve been doing some work for a family member. There was a time when I thought much like this person. Not being focused on anything other than the past or future was always how I identified myself. You could not tell me that … Continue reading No Help Wanted

Evading or Evolving?

The nook that I write at has been a place of many collective thoughts. Since we moved into our new home at the end of 2018, I set up shop here in our kitchen. The refurbished laptop purchased from eBay has been reliable throughout this writing journey. As I sit alone this morning and think about all of the words I’ve punched out on the … Continue reading Evading or Evolving?

In Between Spaces

There are small gaps in between these words and sentences, much like the spaces in between the thoughts behind them. When I began to write this morning, it occurred to me that my mind has been going through many changes throughout a somewhat short period of time. Several weeks has been an awakening of sorts. I’ve really noticed just how my little mind constantly speaks, … Continue reading In Between Spaces

A Different Shift

Beginning the weekend with a relaxing Saturday morning feels much different than it had in many years prior. The weekends mark a two-day stretch that is of great value after five days of strenuous work. I have a demanding job, both physically and mentally. Sitting at the nook in our kitchen and knowing that the moment holds little more than the quiet hums of the … Continue reading A Different Shift

It Cannot Be Unseen

Drifting off into a memory from the childhood–a simple memory that seems to stick with me throughout the years–took me by surprise Friday evening. I was probably no more than three at the time. It was definitely a clear, sunny day with plenty of lush greenery; spring or summer in the early Eighties. I witnessed a young man with a boombox on his shoulder, with … Continue reading It Cannot Be Unseen

All That’s Left

We sat peacefully in the fragrance of freshly-mown grass… My mother and I are spending more time together since her split with the man that had his priorities. She and I are doing much better since we have learned to accept each other’s differences. I’ve been mowing her lawn once a week since the Spring has sprung. We sat on her back patio and enjoyed … Continue reading All That’s Left

The Greatest Addiction

To free myself of the addiction of overthinking is in the works. I’ve spent some time going over the past few years of posts within this blog of mine in recent weeks. Writing about the experiences I had throughout time seemed to help me process the inner frustrations and insecurities. Being transparent, publicly, served as a therapy to help me identify those issues causing my … Continue reading The Greatest Addiction

A Trace

I sat and thought for a moment about those people in time… I remember meeting up with S—- while walking home from school some year during high school. I maybe had met him only once, but that single time we had shared together had its significance, enough for me to say, ‘What’s up, man?’ We rode in his mother’s car, I do remember. We all … Continue reading A Trace

5:16 a.m.

Never before have I felt this way. When the anxiety has left, the nervousness and tension from thinking about the past or future no longer holds me in its firm grip, and when I know that the only true time I have is this very moment, I am truly, “there.” Yes, I’m there. The question used to be asked as I would go about each … Continue reading 5:16 a.m.

Mind Control

A thought late last night entered my tired mind. It was about a person from my past. The thoughts sort of took over, as I dwelled upon what the person and I had gone through, and how the eventual end of our days together sort of hurt us both. This morning, I found myself still thinking about the person, but just a few minutes ago … Continue reading Mind Control