King Of Pain

The past few days have brought me a few realizations that had not been completely embraced, until now. Spending a good amount of time alone is something I’ve learned to deal with. For the past three days, I have been taking a break from work. As my wife has been working third shift and sleeping the majority of the rest of the time, and as … Continue reading King Of Pain

The Quest For Hope

I’m going to be completely transparent this evening, and it may disappoint a few. There is a lingering sadness that hangs over my head. It is not a type of emotional condition that one may quickly identify with or relate to, but rather a true part of me that life has courteously thrown my way. I use the word sadness to define the overall condition … Continue reading The Quest For Hope

Oh, How They Love The Self-Patronizing!

“The old has gone, the new is here!” Yes, that is from 2 Corinthians 5 in what is called the New International Version (NIV). I’ve been up and down the road of religious uneasiness for several years, and it was because of words like these that I had such a bad experience. The “old” me: the one that I had struggled to make even the … Continue reading Oh, How They Love The Self-Patronizing!

Now

So much sadness fills the hearts of people. No time for the fruits of His Spirit. You know, love, joy, peace, and so on. The opposing is rather forceful, it seems. The demons we possess–both past, present, and anticipated future–contaminate the light, pulling us into those places that no longer exist… Just in our heads. The heart aligns with those places. The opposing is familiar. … Continue reading Now

Authors Of Confusion

I sometimes wonder if Christians long for a future in Heaven because they are just not comfortable? Are they not content within the present? Is it that they weren’t comfortable in their past? Are they ashamed of what they once were? These are all questions I have considered as I’ve walked the road of my personal faith. It’s been a battle for me to completely … Continue reading Authors Of Confusion

Wake

In a morning when the sun has reached the horizon colors play The dance begins Gracefully passing its majesty wakes the cloud Amber and Opal of our atmosphere Purple haze beyond the cloud I’m near All gives way to the brightening morn Singing songs of birds adorn Wake us and accompany our day distant one Give life to all that is near once again   Continue reading Wake

God Is With You, So Move On

When my dad was in his fifties, he began a change. These ways were limited to my view, as I was just beginning to visit him again after a three year hiatus. He was no longer a part of the family in any way, as he had separated from my mother and I perpetually. It was not until he and I reunited that I noticed … Continue reading God Is With You, So Move On

Branded

Kudos to those: The ones who claim to have a grip. The ones who pretend, like children in fantasy worlds. The ones who believe they have found the undisputed truths, with proven alternatives beside. The ones who make their lives appealing before the eyes of spectators because they are not happy with the internal; behind the eyes of insecurity and the lies they convince themselves … Continue reading Branded

Missing Text

Are we all on the same page? It’s obviously a silly question, as no two people are alike. I have been home today and sleeping soundly. Heading to work this morning, I began to feel like my body was weighted down by a crippling heaviness, and it was not being relieved with ample amounts of coffee. After arriving at my job and pushing through for … Continue reading Missing Text

Aggregate

I found the piece of paper bearing the formula yesterday. It was like finding a fading photograph of an old friend. The memories of that time–like a song that took me right back to a certain place in life–flooded my morning. The moment I found it, I reflected on a major turning point in my life. Sitting down several years ago to write the final … Continue reading Aggregate

Bitching:

There’s really no other word for it. A woman in front of me is sticking her neck out and complaining to a stranger about her new car having a defect of some sort, as the man behind me is cussing his way through complaining about the line we are all standing in. We are at the BMV. There are a number of people—over twenty of … Continue reading Bitching:

He Who Leads

He walked right out of that place, and it felt good to finally go. No more lies from true truth seekers; no more truths he’d never know. He knew life would be much different and that they would never again speak. Getting to know him for who he was was something the clergy would never seek. They only wanted conformity and for him to sign … Continue reading He Who Leads

Why Do We Fight?

I often wonder why humans spend so much time defining themselves with their own deep and burning desire to be correct. Before I go on, I have to acknowledge that everyone has to reach a conclusion, whether it is built upon truth or not. Sometimes, people believe things that are not true at all, but in their minds–somehow–those things are true. For instance, I believe … Continue reading Why Do We Fight?

There…

I used to be able to look deep into the distance and see with great detail, making out the movements of the sunlit leaves as they would gently give in to the breeze’s persuasion. Looking further, I could fix my eyes upon things–perhaps a mile away–and observe the sharpness of the edges. Not long ago, I began to notice the oncoming effects of age setting … Continue reading There…

To Know What’s Not Needed

Constantly confessing to others that you are Christian, and that everything you do is of the Christian way, is a sure way to make you look less Christian. But honestly, what is the Christian way? One man I know will always manage to slide the fact that he goes to church regularly into any conversation, that he reads his Bible, that he listens to sermons, … Continue reading To Know What’s Not Needed

Rebuke

Each day is a new opportunity to quit with the disapproval of myself. I think back to those days when I was the butt of the joke. I had a group of friends who would make me the center of laughs. I allowed it. When we as young teens would get together, smoke pot and drink, the giggles came naturally. We were always high. Everyone … Continue reading Rebuke

Change

Before light, my mother would wake me on school days. After the alarm wouldn’t manage to budge me from my coma, due to the evening of drugs and alcohol the night before, her persistent voice would fill my room. I recall the usual routine of sitting at the sofa with the candy dish that I used as an ashtray, while flicking my ashes from the … Continue reading Change

Nah.

If the day is mine, then no, I won’t go. For the rain is enough for me to stay inside. It’s not that I don’t enjoy your company, but I have a need for my nothings. If the time is not right, why not put it off for another day? If the day never comes, it wasn’t meant to be. Is this a no-no in … Continue reading Nah.

The Calamities In You

I don’t read what most have to say. Yesterday was a beautiful morning. There is a certain long stretch of road surrounded by the landscape of trees that I especially enjoy in the early morning, as the sun’s rays display nicely there. I have been taking the road for the last few months on my commute to work. It’s a peaceful beginning to the inevitable … Continue reading The Calamities In You

Outside Of The Box Is Love

How sweet of them, to leave such valuable donations. Soiled, pizzle-stained mattress; sofa in part Vomit for the next baby to securely be seated in. How wonderful! A pillow with louse! The hearts of the generous–giving their trash for a good cause, and leaving the next heart broken. Continue reading Outside Of The Box Is Love

Breathe

I sometimes wonder what lies beyond our space and time. A full day of working in the yard–one of my favorite pastimes–drained the life from me. Saturdays are usually a day for unwinding from the labors of the week, but yesterday was a time for landscaping our newly fenced-in backyard. I laid a new concrete patio with new walks to the revamped fire pit area … Continue reading Breathe

Liege

Rulers and kings of their own whom own nothing waste the days believing the world is to be consumed and taken before the next can take A price attached one only they can afford A bed prepared for the whore of Babylon made fast with fine silks of their own delusion Holy men with powdered wig ordained and tainted drenched in their hypocrisies     … Continue reading Liege

So Little Known

I ran across this song in February of 2019. It was just a few days after my father had passed. The song had so much emotion, as I also had, that was expressed through Thom’s unbelievably unique talent. My father was a mystery to me, but what little I did get to experience while knowing him was a mix of how this song makes me … Continue reading So Little Known

While Things Come And Go

Your needs–are they becoming? Is anything outside of your desire to be right a need, you self-righteous pig?! The man in the mirror, mirroring the scar. Those things of yesterday–of hours, no longer relevant–still destroying you and everything/everyone around you. Becoming.     Scapegoat! Filthy animal! You should have killed them while you had the chance! You could be living with the guilt… Oh wait, … Continue reading While Things Come And Go

In Unison

In my world, a calm approach is sometimes the wrong approach. I was thankful Wednesday for the humbling sting of events prior to my car breaking down. It sometimes seems like when it rains it pours, as the saying goes. Several setbacks were a subtle setup for Wednesday morning’s much needed walk in the fresh air. Before heading into work, I took a stroll around … Continue reading In Unison

Harassments

Out of all the things there are to focus on, people gladly choose the hell of the world. A man whom I have worked with for many years is really showing his true self lately. Every single workday I can hear his troubled voice, backed with his boisterous theories, spreading the negative to others. Twenty, thirty, or possibly even more minutes are spent on his … Continue reading Harassments

Into The Day, And Night

Writing is a great outlet for my true identity. It took me a very, very long time to reach this current place of contentment, and I thank the ways of the past for getting me here–the nasty, destructive, dark and disastrous. Without the overcast, I never would have been able to find the glorious light outside of its thievery. Since writing and displaying my transparencies, … Continue reading Into The Day, And Night

Thinking Aloud—Too Proud

God, why are your people so righteous? They believe in righteousness, but fail in its definition. Tit-for-tat — is this your wicked plan? A lot of talk, little show. Lord, don’t be upset if I find it repulsive to be as your people are: Perfect… Yet, The pursuit to find your perfection in them, lingers. I thank you for you and for what you are! … Continue reading Thinking Aloud—Too Proud

The Value Of Sunny Days

Checking the weather forecast is certainly something I take for granted. To see beautiful, sunny days with given percentage chances, on the news or an app, is a marvelous thing! When I see little symbols that show a sun, or a sun with a few clouds surrounding it, my life changes!! Just being lighthearted. In all seriousness, I truly do love a sunny day in … Continue reading The Value Of Sunny Days

Revisiting

An old writing of mine, revisited.   Collected Fragments Of My Time– August, 2018 The memories of my grandfather and his work shed. There was an addition off to the side of a one car garage that was made into his work area. The small space was a place where he frequently spent his time. As a young boy, I would venture out to watch … Continue reading Revisiting

Volatility

People bumping off of people never real time for themselves Thoughts consumed with what the other thinks defined by someone else     Competition in their nature a little more than the rest A thought to decide for themselves shot down by the next They go on believing they’ve won the race to find another mile around the bend Running ahead of the next to … Continue reading Volatility

Monday

There used to be a few people in my life that would do everything within their power to bring others around them down. Unbeknownst, these individuals had a poor grip on their own reality. With every miserable breath they took, the misery was exhaled. It was so sad to watch. What was even worse was the willingness I had to allow their sadness to rub … Continue reading Monday

Polychrome

Created are the atrocities Inventions of the mind Beyond our control Within check at times Practices can manage Chemicals may heed Chemistry is a riddle Understanding is the need Past will perform Vivid stage play in memory Present screen play in monochrome Flushed by what used to be Instability is the writing on their paper See how it will go… Take two, then come back … Continue reading Polychrome

The Clenching

How truly hard it is to genuinely be a kind man. I work with a mix of personalities, mostly men. Being a full-time worker, I end up spending more time with them than I do my own family. It is sometimes very hard to not focus upon errors that occur. Our jobs are intricate, and they are expected to be conducted in a harmonious manor … Continue reading The Clenching

Christian Love?

Why do most church going people tend to stick their noses in the air? It’s a serious question. I cannot seem to wrap my head around this pattern that is consistently laid out before me. They look down upon the rest of the world–both people like myself, as well as those who choose not to have the same beliefs. Is this really how Jesus–the man … Continue reading Christian Love?

Walking Along…

One with the elements, we are the same. A part of a whole. Everything we see and touch… Yes, we are the same. Same elements–different combinations… In you and I–the same building blocks of life and object… Walking along, I realized that we are one with all things… Shorting ourselves with insecurities, forgetting that we are part of that whole. Locked in with limitation. One … Continue reading Walking Along…

Returning

The body cannot keep up with the mind. Heart races when anxiety thinks it is time. Topics of old peel scabs that took years to find. We count facial lines.   Time took away the agility we took for granted. The youth and avant-garde–once graciously handed. Aged like the wine, yesterday, now demanded. Discomforts–mine, yours–leave us enchanted.   Shouldn’t we dwell upon such things as … Continue reading Returning

When We Are There

Looking at all that had been, he stared into the shadows of years gone awry. Like the meeting of silhouette on sunlit grass, his life swayed with unpredictable certainty. His lingering sorrows of a love lost, blown somewhere into the abyss of airy blue, above the shades of regret he knew. The cool of downing light–a temporary peace. The man was only human– as fragile … Continue reading When We Are There

Forgotten

A man sat on the floor with his head in his hands trying to avoid the one who wouldn’t be still His paranoia was getting the best of him as the other danced before receiving his pill The mental ward was next to silent that morning but the voices in his head were screaming He just wanted those people to leave him alone Auditory hallucinations … Continue reading Forgotten

Fell Off The Wagon…Again

I’ve been practicing an old habit in recent weeks. Habits. They form. After trying something initially, and unknown desire drives our diversely-structured brains to feed upon it. To continue. Some of them are beneficial, while others are not so good. In my particular case, a habit that I once held closely with a firm grip, slowly reared its destructive head within the last few weeks. … Continue reading Fell Off The Wagon…Again

Rise Above

It’s been a relief as I have recently been able to let a toxic person go. Today marks the triumphant first day of letting someone go–a someone whom became an obvious fake over the course of a few months. A man I’ve been conversing with here at the Press had (and I say had with a sigh of relief) been watching my blog from a … Continue reading Rise Above

Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 2 of 2)

When I say, “heart,” I suppose I mean the inner being of myself. The soul–the thing that is driving this flabby, muscly, bony body. The magic that keeps me alive, if you will. Truly, the whole God thing really tugged at me, causing great mental and physical distress. The whole experience became an obsession. I had to figure this stuff out. The thing is, I … Continue reading Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 2 of 2)

Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 1 of 2)

Before the world of a young child is illuminated by its own imagination, wonder, and all of the other blessings the new brings, the child usually has the opportunity to learn some basic fundamentals. Whether it be from a parent or guardian, most children will learn to crawl before walking under a watchful eye. As a little tyke begins to take interest, the mind unfolds … Continue reading Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 1 of 2)

Feed Us

The world has its way of kicking us when we’re down. The little things that eat at us are amplified by the hurt within others. Narcissistic screwballs–the oblivious and conniving –look at all with their rose-colored glasses, correcting the foolish. All of mankind is broken. Yet, the ones who know what’s best for everyone else are too stupid to realize. The most ignorant are sometimes … Continue reading Feed Us