When I say, “heart,” I suppose I mean the inner being of myself. The soul–the thing that is driving this flabby, muscly, bony body. The magic that keeps me alive, if you will. Truly, the whole God thing really tugged at me, causing great mental and physical distress. The whole experience became an obsession. I had to figure this stuff out. The thing is, I … Continue reading Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 2 of 2)
Before the world of a young child is illuminated by its own imagination, wonder, and all of the other blessings the new brings, the child usually has the opportunity to learn some basic fundamentals. Whether it be from a parent or guardian, most children will learn to crawl before walking under a watchful eye. As a little tyke begins to take interest, the mind unfolds … Continue reading Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 1 of 2)
The world has its way of kicking us when we’re down. The little things that eat at us are amplified by the hurt within others. Narcissistic screwballs–the oblivious and conniving –look at all with their rose-colored glasses, correcting the foolish. All of mankind is broken. Yet, the ones who know what’s best for everyone else are too stupid to realize. The most ignorant are sometimes … Continue reading Feed Us
Little brains bringing pains Giant pointer The moron blames Better than An upper hand Knock ’em down before they stand The way I see me and me Your way is dumb You should agree Human you are Under me by far Idiot Thoughts bizarre So so blind The tales you find Thinking life is craft By design Monkey man Think … Continue reading God and Man (His War With Self)
How other people view us, really, isn’t relevant. It seems as though the last several years have brought a focus that wasn’t as prominent as it had been in years past. Popularity of social media, the lax commutations we have adapted, such as texting, tweeting and so on (anything one can identify as means), has really changed society in negative ways. With it all, a … Continue reading Observing
Gathering the nourishment– picking from poisoned bush– we place our selection in the basket of reason. The berry appears so tempting, so ripe, with sweetness to indulge. Juice like wine. Pallet of splendor. The taste of a dream we’d rather not wake from. We knew we were poisoned from the beginning– yet, we ate. We didn’t care. We boldly placed our selection in the woven … Continue reading Humanity Harvest
The trees– greater than ourselves. Towering above us all, concerned with no one else. They take what they like– the sun and the moon. Hiding beauty of the heavens. Reaching deep into their room. Greedy is their nature. Robbing lesser one. Laughing at the weaker. Having all the fun. The bird of grace and diligence took away the pride of the thundering tower … Continue reading Beneath
“I don’t understand the darkness” is a statement someone had made regarding my chosen style of writing. Throughout the past few years on WordPress, I have poured myself out through text. As a helpful tool I had used while evaluating my personal cognitive complexity, writing later evolved into a passion. I began to write of experiences, thoughts, my walk with God, as well as poems … Continue reading Where Darkness Lies
Spring is providing everything it had promised in all years before. Renewal. Birth. Intrigue. It is painting our world with the never before. Insect and chasing mammal–reminders of their hiding. Cotton-like cloud, passing before azure sea. Whisper of warm, cry of brisk. Rain and hoary low. Peeking of yellow, smiling with green–reaching higher places than their own. Nesting of flyers within towering brawn. Pastels adorn … Continue reading Anew
Willingness to adhere to one’s own “norm” can sometimes lead to big trouble. I must say, the last few years have been a challenge within my personal life. In many aspects, I have learned to change. These aren’t subtle changes, as they had been a huge part of who I was as a person. As I share, keep in mind that these specific changes have … Continue reading Ethic
The watcher perched in thicket Low vantage point Hidden from its world Keen eye Patient Studious Contemplating Moving in for strike Never unsure Closer than shadows the watcher makes the move Attack!! The watched keen in its guile turned to greet the patient the studious the contemplative Vantage point detected in advance far before the watcher watched … Continue reading Known
Within the flesh the inadequacies lie Fading and falling before we die Clinging to wisdom we see ourselves stable In blinding of night we see we’re not able When taking what we are and expecting much more We fade like we had in all times before We hit our graves early as we rob in our greed never ceasing to know just what we need Continue reading Not Secure
The warmth comforted his vexation. He stood within the stall until the water ran cold. The day was a waste. He decided to move out to the back patio with the hope of grooming his anxieties with nature and fresh air. Mindfulness was a coping mechanism he’d learned about many years earlier. Stepping outside, inhaling simplicity–the smell of flowers nearby. The sounds from the birds … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 19)
“Michael, do yo..” “NOT, NOW, MOM!” She pulled her head back away from the stairwell and stomped through the kitchen. He could hear her murmur coming from different ends of the house as she moved about. “Love you!” He then heard the door slam. As he listened to the car speeding away, he let out a long sigh. Nothing was real. He couldn’t come back … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 18)
What does it do for you, to think on such things– the squander and morose. All the haste that it brings. Nothing is achieved, except the misery you teach. Mundane and jaded. My, the woes you do preach. Does it pay in the end to lose all you’ve gained? That beautiful laughter? The grip you maintained? A challenge has come, and you fold, with a … Continue reading Wasteful Thinking
He compared. He compared the feelings he had towards his father to the ones he was now embracing. He lied in his sorrows with his young father in mind–the hell he lived. The magnitude of the devastation. Apprehensive, he rose. Mike had a seat on the end of the sofa. He was crazed. The dreams, the messengers, the messages–all of it was too much. He … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 17)
The angel began to speak into Mike. He could hear the being, without words. Without a necessity to understand. It was showing Mike the small frames of his father’s life. The past; a young boy in an environment of desecration. The vision of his father being beaten and molested by a woman he called his mom. While her husband was away fighting a war, he … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 16)
Michael, maybe ten, was in the street playing with a childhood friend. Anna was the blond with the sky blue eyes. He remembered well. They were the eyes that saw what his father would do to him, when she found them one summer day inside the dugout. It never left Mike’s memory. The recurring dream of the event would come to him throughout his years. … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 15)
Like any seasoned drunk, he had to have a drink. Mike cracked open the bottle of Gin he’d been sitting on since June. His agitation, along with the familiar withdrawal, was relentlessly picking. Day turned to night, and the moon was rising above the treeline on the edge on the field behind the house. He poured the drinks quickly, and often. Mike ordered the pizza … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 14)
He was watching the darkness turn to light outside. He’d been sitting at the window in the kitchen for hours, desperately trying to make sense of it all. Mr. McBride was gone. The beautiful visions of unexplained phenomena, followed by the terror of his nightmare. He couldn’t do anything but stare. Moving about, he took himself to the basement. Not sure of what time it … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 13)
We hide away. Fear resides as we lock our doors. Views, only through the pane. So crisp from decreasing smog. No longer a selfish contribution, we’ve become. Stay away! Your neighbor is a threat! He’s polluted unlike the crisp and pristine, now, out there. Out where we used to indulge in our selfishness. When will we return? The outdoor needs our contribution! It needs our … Continue reading Inside
Time is nothing Not a thing It has no beginning or end Only defined by what we bring It has no form Yet we see it this way We use the sun The night and day It is used in aging In whats and whens We use it out of context again and again People live somewhere within it In its menacing hold They pick … Continue reading Now
The heartbeat–his, yet, only in ambiance–muffled the oncoming carriers of torches. The flames breached the horizon as Mike felt the heat long before due. The darkness was now giving way to the subtle glow, but calefaction was intensifying. Mike observed the skin on his arms as they started to boil and bubble. He felt hell approaching. One wink. Michael was surrounded by skeletal horses driven … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 12)
He was in the other world; the dreamscape. Manifesting before him, at close proximity, were short scenes of his life. Within the darkness, and as though the scenes were lighted by spotlight, the past began to appear. He was standing beside a little boy that was at the feet of his arguing parents. Although there was nothing audible, the fighting was evident. He just watched … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 11)
How Mike could be seeing himself as a young man in the face of the old man was an anomaly, and the bizarre peripheral spinning only added to his astonishment. The light, and this time, a silhouette of what appeared to be an angelic creature came into sight. It was as if the light was an opening of some sort behind the man–as though the … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 10)
“Well, Mike, I have been trying to get ahold of you for a while now.” He assumed that it must have been Mr. McBride weeks earlier knocking at his door. “Get ahold of me?” Mike was still in a state of intense bewilderment. The series of events involving this old man–a person who’d shown up in a dream before showing up in his reality, sitting … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 9)
With a half-smile and an obvious response of confusion from Mike’s partial question, the old man uttered, “Hi, uh, I’m looking for Mike Sandersen. Are you Mike?” Mike was so confused by the whole thing–the man from his dream, now, standing at his door and asking for him. He was speechless, and the haze of the alcohol wasn’t helping the whole situation. “No,” Mike replied, … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 8)
He actually enjoyed spending the time with his mother that morning. She had brewed a strong Colombian coffee, prepared blueberry pancakes and scrambled eggs, just for him. His favorites. They talked about the one time dad had actually been nice when he hugged them both and said that he loved them, right after his mother had passed. It was a non-existent phrase from his mouth, … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 7)
He creased his eyes and played with the sunlight as it danced within his lashes and watery vision. His thought of an angelic apparition composed of sunlight was quickly passed off. He didn’t believe in angels, anyhow. Angels–the things he once believed were possible–were simply from another time in his life, back when his mom and dad were still a thing. Back when his childhood … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 6)
The sound of his own voice was beginning to irritate him, let alone those of the few that he would hear from. Jobless, lazy as all get out and so full of lame excuses, left unlimited time for him to stew in his misery. The deep-seated resentment of a questionable origin was now his identity, unbeknownst to him. The seasons came and went. His mother … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 5)
He was not the man, or in his mind, the boy he once had been. He was no longer the company everyone loved to be around–the happy-go-lucky, sarcastic prick that had a heart for the outcast. The one people would talk to about their problems, knowing firsthand that he would give them straight feedback. Genuine, honest words. He had no idea where he now stood. … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 4)
“He is risen!” The headline of the day is flooding our cyberspace, thoughts, gatherings (although limited during quarantine) and hearts. We, as Christ followers, are celebrating a day that is considered sacred within the eyes of so many. Each man and woman in His body has a certain way of looking at this day, and each heart is in it for their own individual reason. … Continue reading He Is, Always.
But, the knock at the door returned. The unknown visitor, relentlessly, beat at that door. Still, by no means, was he willing to get up to answer it. The beating would continue throughout the night — in his dreams. In the smolder of his chain smoking when the eyes wouldn’t stay shut. A single knock, from a possible friend, came and went on the August … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 3)
The truly deadly pandemic is the constant mention of the fact. People falling prey to the media’s poise and tact. Worry and fear sell the story of instability and prose. Tune in for consternation. Your life, now decomposed. Talk about a plague!? It’s right here, everyday. In the headlines, in the blogs, in the words that many say. Have a cup of trepidation. Drink … Continue reading Contagion
Every professing Christian in the world should read this book. Blessings to you. Continue reading Hands Down Truth
They comfort him, all of these faithful friends. The threads of nonsense. The musical talents he wishes he could greet at the end of their sessions. The lukewarm Rum. With each day, while tucked away, he binds to the melancholy. A glimmer of hope knocked on his door on an August morning, but he didn’t answer. It was too much like work, peeling himself off … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 2)
Running away. That’s what he’d always been good at. Ever since he was boy, it was a necessity, finding those places to run to. A thick book of fantasy, the bottle of Rum, or, perhaps, the twisted perversions most dare to mention. All of the lies he would tell himself. The escape artist, basking in the light of seclusion and unreasonable reason. Flash-forward to the … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 1)
There are times, like right now, when I begin to wonder how God could love me. The are ways in me that, if I can, He can see, that are sinful. Brothers will say, “You MUST change your way”, yet, I’m selfish. I sometimes believe that a devil can deceive, while a God has saved. Other times, I am lost… If He died on the … Continue reading Fulcrum
Under the blue, we breathe the springing onset. New has arrived, and we miss what we’ve met. Songs of the season– the rustling of tree. The voices of organic life. The sorrow we see. Sun shines on opportunity– our lighted ambitions. Darkness hides our intent– impeded positions. Standing firmly in the rays of exuberant determination, under the blue, in His creation, we … Continue reading Under The Blue
Perhaps, in one way, we can use the existence of social distancing (opposed to being gathered) by BEING the church. After all, church is not a place, but a way of being, as His. Be His church! Love as He loves! Continue reading Just Be
Pilate asked, “What is truth?” Jesus replied with, “I am.” Yet, they need more than that… Lending God a hand. Move over, God, men have found more to add. They interpret your truth, negating what you had. It’s way more complicated than a simple faith in you. So many educated scholars, telling others what to do. Oh, God, so many men have robbed … Continue reading My God…
Locked away, the man sat with only his thoughts. He ate from the cans he’d packed away, counting down–each bite, each number from the label. The water he’d rationed spilled to the floor in his fit of anger. A candle–dimming, much like his soul–burned away in the corner of his space…. Alone. He spoke to the angels that would visit him. They spoke in ways … Continue reading Hinder House
The first thoughts (as the coffee welcomes me) are the focus of my morning writings. It is the way that each day begins which encourages me to peck away at these keys. If I’m exhausted from the previous day of labors, I usually spell it out through the frustrated choice of word. If I’m cool, you get cool. If I’m amazed by His craft, you … Continue reading To The Followers
He wanted to be a Christian. They told him to repent. They said he must join a church. They demanded he celebrate Lent. The led him to believe that he was a slave to sin. They made him feel unworthy when he stood in front of them. “You need to change, my brother.” He heard it three times a week. On Wednesday, and twice on … Continue reading Hush
I heard from God today– He spoke through the chatter of the morning birds. I saw God today– He rose with the sun over our unbalanced land. I tasted God today– the sweetness of the berry He gave. I touched God today– caressing His craftsmanship as I held her close. I smelled the Lord today– bending with aches, I breathed in the fragrance of new … Continue reading In Ways
Musical therapy, during these trying times. Continue reading Raise My Rent by David Gilmour
It is interesting to see how the emotions play such a huge part in our experiences. I turned on my computer this morning to see a small monkey gripping firmly to a tree branch as the Windows program was booting up. Random pictures appear in this process, and they are usually accompanied by a few words to draw interest that pertains to the image. Anyway, … Continue reading Behind those Foster Grants Of Life
BOLD is the word that we use. Bold is the look that have upon our face as we accuse. BOLD is the finger of contempt. Bold is the authority that we claim to hold in our lordly attempt. BOLD is thinking we have the right. Bold is the correction we sternly give to their internal fight. BOLD is not lowly. Bold is the silent killer, … Continue reading Lord
The bleeding heart: never void of the coming and going. Taking in–thrusting forward. The life-blood faithfully jaunts, replenishing; renewing. A carrier of our drive; a river of nourishing fare. Vital. Not critical. Tolerant. Here we are: bias and unfair… Nothing like the blood that we all share; unlike the blood sent abroad by the bleeding heart. Continue reading Our Rivers
I think I’ll look for peace today. Not worrying about the panic and the current, stressful way. I think I’ll enjoy the songs of the birds outside my door, and see the beauty in someone that I’ve never seen before. Maybe I’ll catch the sunrise as I’m heading towards the east– capturing the calm that, for a time, had sadly ceased. I think I’ll look … Continue reading Rise
Something Real
poetry
Live, Learn, Love & Grow!
Thoughts About Mental Illness From My Mind To Yours
I read. I write. You enjoy!
Welcome! This infinitesimal corner of the web is a place where my fairy tales, poems, and images collect and remind me of where I've been. Enjoy and feel free to comment on your parallel existence! Peter Ellis
tips , tricks , advice's
In Poetry form
Off-the-Grid Alaskan Farm and Family
PHILOSOPHY. CREATIVITY. ARTICLE
The Music, Magick, Poetry and Madness of Magus
Making People Cool and Author
just 'bout stuffs...wid po grammar
Putting The Hero Back In Action
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." - 2 Timothy 1:7
My reflections on the week past accompanied by music and memories
Never feel alone on your journey with mental health.
A Christian's Journey through Social Anxiety
Giving a Voice to Christ's Caregiving Servants
Inspiring To be faithful, Believe In One's Self, and Love Life.
"The Lord Our Banner" (Exodus 17:15)
To justify the ways of schizophrenia to man
a nomads thoughts on faith and life
fan into flame the gift of faith
A Weekly Journal of Faith
Spirit Trek!
Wrestling with Faith and Mental Health
All goes onward and outward. . . .and nothing collapses, And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier. - Walt Whitman
We're all made of stardust and love
Talking about my books, themes and ideas about life
by Brian Starie
exploring the intersection of the monstrous and the sacred
Just your average PhD student using the internet to enhance their CV
Sharing What Brings My Life The Greatest Joy Through Poetry
Poetic Landscapes Of The Spirit
Surrender to Him, Find Joy, Live Fully
Thoughts on God's Amazing Life in Us
The one who already knows yours
“Home is the nicest word there is.” ― Laura Ingalls Wilder
A Doctor's Reflections on Psychology and Spirituality • Give Light, and the Darkness will Disappear of Itself
