Nah.

If the day is mine, then no, I won’t go. For the rain is enough for me to stay inside. It’s not that I don’t enjoy your company, but I have a need for my nothings. If the time is not right, why not put it off for another day? If the day never comes, it wasn’t meant to be. Is this a no-no in … Continue reading Nah.

Breathe

I sometimes wonder what lies beyond our space and time. A full day of working in the yard–one of my favorite pastimes–drained the life from me. Saturdays are usually a day for unwinding from the labors of the week, but yesterday was a time for landscaping our newly fenced-in backyard. I laid a new concrete patio with new walks to the revamped fire pit area … Continue reading Breathe

Liege

Rulers and kings of their own whom own nothing waste the days believing the world is to be consumed and taken before the next can take A price attached one only they can afford A bed prepared for the whore of Babylon made fast with fine silks of their own delusion Holy men with powdered wig ordained and tainted drenched in their hypocrisies     … Continue reading Liege

Into The Day, And Night

Writing is a great outlet for my true identity. It took me a very, very long time to reach this current place of contentment, and I thank the ways of the past for getting me here–the nasty, destructive, dark and disastrous. Without the overcast, I never would have been able to find the glorious light outside of its thievery. Since writing and displaying my transparencies, … Continue reading Into The Day, And Night

Returning

The body cannot keep up with the mind. Heart races when anxiety thinks it is time. Topics of old peel scabs that took years to find. We count facial lines.   Time took away the agility we took for granted. The youth and avant-garde–once graciously handed. Aged like the wine, yesterday, now demanded. Discomforts–mine, yours–leave us enchanted.   Shouldn’t we dwell upon such things as … Continue reading Returning

When We Are There

Looking at all that had been, he stared into the shadows of years gone awry. Like the meeting of silhouette on sunlit grass, his life swayed with unpredictable certainty. His lingering sorrows of a love lost, blown somewhere into the abyss of airy blue, above the shades of regret he knew. The cool of downing light–a temporary peace. The man was only human– as fragile … Continue reading When We Are There

Feed Us

The world has its way of kicking us when we’re down. The little things that eat at us are amplified by the hurt within others. Narcissistic screwballs–the oblivious and conniving –look at all with their rose-colored glasses, correcting the foolish. All of mankind is broken. Yet, the ones who know what’s best for everyone else are too stupid to realize. The most ignorant are sometimes … Continue reading Feed Us

Beneath

The trees– greater than ourselves. Towering above us all, concerned with no one else. They take what they like– the sun and the moon. Hiding beauty of the heavens. Reaching deep into their room. Greedy is their nature. Robbing lesser one. Laughing at the weaker. Having all the fun.     The bird of grace and diligence took away the pride of the thundering tower … Continue reading Beneath

Not Secure

Within the flesh the inadequacies lie Fading and falling before we die Clinging to wisdom we see ourselves stable In blinding of night we see we’re not able When taking what we are and expecting much more We fade like we had in all times before We hit our graves early as we rob in our greed never ceasing to know just what we need Continue reading Not Secure

The Voice He Hears (Part 17)

He compared. He compared the feelings he had towards his father to the ones he was now embracing. He lied in his sorrows with his young father in mind–the hell he lived. The magnitude of the devastation. Apprehensive, he rose. Mike had a seat on the end of the sofa. He was crazed. The dreams, the messengers, the messages–all of it was too much. He … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 17)

The Voice He Hears (Part 16)

The angel began to speak into Mike. He could hear the being, without words. Without a necessity to understand. It was showing Mike the small frames of his father’s life. The past; a young boy in an environment of desecration. The vision of his father being beaten and molested by a woman he called his mom. While her husband was away fighting a war, he … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 16)

The Voice He Hears (Part 14)

Like any seasoned drunk, he had to have a drink. Mike cracked open the bottle of Gin he’d been sitting on since June. His agitation, along with the familiar withdrawal, was relentlessly picking. Day turned to night, and the moon was rising above the treeline on the edge on the field behind the house. He poured the drinks quickly, and often. Mike ordered the pizza … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 14)

The Voice He Hears (Part 13)

He was watching the darkness turn to light outside. He’d been sitting at the window in the kitchen for hours, desperately trying to make sense of it all. Mr. McBride was gone. The beautiful visions of unexplained phenomena, followed by the terror of his nightmare. He couldn’t do anything but stare. Moving about, he took himself to the basement. Not sure of what time it … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 13)

The Voice He Hears (Part 12)

The heartbeat–his, yet, only in ambiance–muffled the oncoming carriers of torches. The flames breached the horizon as Mike felt the heat long before due. The darkness was now giving way to the subtle glow, but calefaction was intensifying. Mike observed the skin on his arms as they started to boil and bubble. He felt hell approaching. One wink. Michael was surrounded by skeletal horses driven … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 12)

The Voice He Hears (Part 11)

He was in the other world; the dreamscape. Manifesting before him, at close proximity, were short scenes of his life. Within the darkness, and as though the scenes were lighted by spotlight, the past began to appear. He was standing beside a little boy that was at the feet of his arguing parents. Although there was nothing audible, the fighting was evident. He just watched … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 11)

The Voice He Hears (Part 10)

How Mike could be seeing himself as a young man in the face of the old man was an anomaly, and the bizarre peripheral spinning only added to his astonishment. The light, and this time, a silhouette of what appeared to be an angelic creature came into sight. It was as if the light was an opening of some sort behind the man–as though the … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 10)

The Voice He Hears (Part 9)

“Well, Mike, I have been trying to get ahold of you for a while now.” He assumed that it must have been Mr. McBride weeks earlier knocking at his door. “Get ahold of me?” Mike was still in a state of intense bewilderment. The series of events involving this old man–a person who’d shown up in a dream before showing up in his reality, sitting … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 9)

The Voice He Hears (Part 8)

With a half-smile and an obvious response of confusion from Mike’s partial question, the old man uttered, “Hi, uh, I’m looking for Mike Sandersen. Are you Mike?” Mike was so confused by the whole thing–the man from his dream, now, standing at his door and asking for him. He was speechless, and the haze of the alcohol wasn’t helping the whole situation. “No,” Mike replied, … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 8)

The Voice He Hears (Part 7)

He actually enjoyed spending the time with his mother that morning. She had brewed a strong Colombian coffee, prepared blueberry pancakes and scrambled eggs, just for him. His favorites. They talked about the one time dad had actually been nice when he hugged them both and said that he loved them, right after his mother had passed. It was a non-existent phrase from his mouth, … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 7)

The Voice He Hears (Part 6)

He creased his eyes and played with the sunlight as it danced within his lashes and watery vision. His thought of an angelic apparition composed of sunlight was quickly passed off. He didn’t believe in angels, anyhow. Angels–the things he once believed were possible–were simply from another time in his life, back when his mom and dad were still a thing. Back when his childhood … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 6)

The Voice He Hears (Part 5)

The sound of his own voice was beginning to irritate him, let alone those of the few that he would hear from. Jobless, lazy as all get out and so full of lame excuses, left unlimited time for him to stew in his misery. The deep-seated resentment of a questionable origin was now his identity, unbeknownst to him. The seasons came and went. His mother … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 5)

The Voice He Hears (Part 4)

He was not the man, or in his mind, the boy he once had been. He was no longer the company everyone loved to be around–the happy-go-lucky, sarcastic prick that had a heart for the outcast. The one people would talk to about their problems, knowing firsthand that he would give them straight feedback. Genuine, honest words. He had no idea where he now stood. … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 4)

The Voice He Hears (Part 3)

But, the knock at the door returned. The unknown visitor, relentlessly, beat at that door. Still, by no means, was he willing to get up to answer it. The beating would continue throughout the night — in his dreams. In the smolder of his chain smoking when the eyes wouldn’t stay shut. A single knock, from a possible friend, came and went on the August … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 3)

The Voice He Hears (Part 2)

They comfort him, all of these faithful friends. The threads of nonsense. The musical talents he wishes he could greet at the end of their sessions. The lukewarm Rum. With each day, while tucked away, he binds to the melancholy. A glimmer of hope knocked on his door on an August morning, but he didn’t answer. It was too much like work, peeling himself off … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 2)

The Voice He Hears (Part 1)

Running away. That’s what he’d always been good at. Ever since he was boy, it was a necessity, finding those places to run to. A thick book of fantasy, the bottle of Rum, or, perhaps, the twisted perversions most dare to mention. All of the lies he would tell himself. The escape artist, basking in the light of seclusion and unreasonable reason. Flash-forward to the … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 1)

Fulcrum

There are times, like right now, when I begin to wonder how God could love me. The are ways in me that, if I can, He can see, that are sinful. Brothers will say, “You MUST change your way”, yet, I’m selfish. I sometimes believe that a devil can deceive, while a God has saved. Other times, I am lost… If He died on the … Continue reading Fulcrum

Under The Blue

Under the blue, we breathe the springing onset. New has arrived, and we miss what we’ve met.   Songs of the season– the rustling of tree. The voices of organic life. The sorrow we see.   Sun shines on opportunity– our lighted ambitions. Darkness hides our intent– impeded positions.   Standing firmly in the rays of exuberant determination, under the blue, in His creation, we … Continue reading Under The Blue

To The Followers

The first thoughts (as the coffee welcomes me) are the focus of my morning writings. It is the way that each day begins which encourages me to peck away at these keys. If I’m exhausted from the previous day of labors, I usually spell it out through the frustrated choice of word. If I’m cool, you get cool. If I’m amazed by His craft, you … Continue reading To The Followers

Wilted Woes

Spring is returning. The budding life — for a time, lying dormant — is rejoining the world. The sun creeps to its higher position, forcing the land to transitions. The voice of bashful life is practicing new song… And, for me, the dormancy remains.   Why is it not as rejuvenating as the last spring? Is it the load that has been carried since the … Continue reading Wilted Woes

Palpable Pudding

So many different voices. You can hear their life in the chatter. A crowded room full of people. Food and drink is the serious matter. Refueling for a day. The coffee poured in porcelain mug. Scraping of a plate. Women gabbing over what they love. A cough followed by more hacking. The air is full of breath. We eat and breathe together. Enjoying progressive death. … Continue reading Palpable Pudding

Supreme Concern

Are they concerned, or do they only speak for themselves? Do the teachers and preachers look in the mirror of the morning and shine; finding a splendid way to stroke their own ego until night falls, where the mirror then smiles back at them in that evening hour of contentment?? “Good job, master. You’ve done so much for yourself.” Looking back at your failures, you … Continue reading Supreme Concern

Roaring Thunder of Ourselves

Men know that your ways are not good enough!! Everyone seems to know what is best. For me. For you. Your voice is silenced by the resonance of the proud. Yet, they call that voice, yours. They have prophetic messages, you know, that never come true. ‘Step aside, Lord! Make way!  A message!!’ You do step aside….   The men now know that your ways … Continue reading Roaring Thunder of Ourselves

Affirmation

Reality is what we say it is, yet, we never really know. Flecks, upon flecks upon flecks… Doing the guesswork.   The smallest fleck: Some flesh, a few bones, lots of water, and a brain that keeps it all, “real”. What do we have to say? Forcing a wind from our internal, voicing our realities through a hole in our face. Using symbols in a … Continue reading Affirmation

Facade

God knows the secrets we hide. The things hidden from the world, kept inside. A front for the masses, to make one look good, is a mask for our fears — things misunderstood. A day spent in words and expressions to see, is not really all that’s in you or me. The thoughts that you cover from the brother you deride are exposed to the … Continue reading Facade

Patient Being

As soon as the blessings come, the evil begins. That devil and his kind delight in your sins. After the prayer, at the heels of your feet, the darkness takes its deluding seat. Do you follow God, or, are you deceived, by the glorious light the devil retrieved? A persnickety one — that angel of light; the one you battle often, often losing the fight. … Continue reading Patient Being

Descension

Anxiety stricken Beating heart On the verge of falling apart Nerves are shot Sweats and shakes Clinching this disaster as the still ground quakes Try to breathe Close my eyes Nothing works and it’s no surprise Everyone wonders why I’m exhausted now They offer advice but they don’t know how Ease today Doc pushed the pill Come back next month for another bill Pill wouldn’t … Continue reading Descension

Invasion Of The Joy Snatchers

Do you ever feel as though you joy is being robbed from you? Within the last few weeks, I have. It had been a very stressful time in recent days as I took on the many tasks, dealings with people and the lack of sleep. The combination had me pretty edgy throughout most of the hours. A very physical occupation which also requires a great … Continue reading Invasion Of The Joy Snatchers

The Great Flood

Drenched. So immensely saturated by the things that hang from me. Losing strength. So much work, so little time. “A break?” ‘………..no.’ I must build the wall before the levee breaks. But, this weight! Clinging like a parasite to the host, slowly draining the life………from….me. Oh God, slow me down! Stop this downpour long enough for me to catch that much needed break….. Oh, look. … Continue reading The Great Flood

Insomnia Show

The mind never pauses. Even when tired, and during those sleepless nights, it crawls. Pushing its way through the perceptions of senses — firing and short-circuiting. The hare and the tortoise compete. With eyes falling silently closed, the vision of our creative element performs — our personal Hamlet, on the fly. As lids open, the rushing and random remains: ‘What did I do with that……………is … Continue reading Insomnia Show

Heavy Ways

Heavy is the weight of the trials; the load that is carried throughout the long walk of miles. Heavy is the stressful life we find; those demands and strangling hands of a love lost, never left behind. Heavy is the decision one wishes could have been different; the choice in a moment they are now sickened by, as it fell short of efficient. Heavy is … Continue reading Heavy Ways

Cynically Sinless

We worry about the day — our choice and our way — questioning ourselves, anyway.   We look through our own eyes — we judge ourselves; we chastise — and we find things we despise.   We take a closer look — into the heart the world took — and see that we are far from our good book.   We hate ourselves as we … Continue reading Cynically Sinless

Thoughts Of His Own Making

“No words to express, no substance to digest, no opinion to contest, no view from you to ingest… I sit dormant in the morn.   Not a single thing to say about this season or this day, not even a suggestion coming from your way is regarded as okay… I’d rather sit and sulk in scorn.    Pity myself, I will. It’s become such a … Continue reading Thoughts Of His Own Making

As The Heart Pleads

My heart has changed through a way of love I now choose to see the other unfortunately not always but most of the time as a close and respected brother   My heart has changed through a way of compassion I now see the trouble we share I sometimes question why people are hurt but for them I say a prayer   My heart has … Continue reading As The Heart Pleads

Willingness

In the middle of our season we wonder what and why We toil within our efforts not pleased with how we try Something could’ve been better than the way we gave our all The decision at the time was the only way we saw Regret and hurt is hanging over the head of human way We start to judge ourselves over the choice of yesterday … Continue reading Willingness

My Lord, My Friend

Rest assured when facing a trial that God is with you even while the people aren’t there when you need them most The one’s who’d promised would rather host their own importance Entertaining ego They never call or stop in They have reasons you know But God is there always and He knows all the pain that you’ve carried along as you’ve received their disdain … Continue reading My Lord, My Friend

Remember Me

When I saw you in the face of the man from the mountains, with his joy that you had provided, I was amazed by the simplicity of his view and why he was delighted. I was enjoying a breakfast and writing the words — a reflection of the surrounding days when he stopped and said, “I’m good, great and faaaaantastic!!” A simple man, elated by … Continue reading Remember Me

Semblance

A little crazed flirting with the images created and then some A little proud presenting to the world a beautiful image that is ugly A little too human for the righteous to consume No thank you given and no extended thoughts of empathy A little love but not much A little validation that which keeps number one number one A godly man of his own … Continue reading Semblance

Through The Thorn

I find myself walking away, pretty often these days, from the madness others create in my personal malaise. Sometimes, the ways of others pulls me down to a familiar land. A place where I once walked in ways I can no longer stand. They call me to come along with them; to embark in ways of old. They say, “for old times’ sake,” but misery … Continue reading Through The Thorn

Humbled By Sight

These hands: They are scarred and stained. They carry a number of memories. They’ve held a number of chains, and keys. They defend. They comfort. These feet: They have walked many miles. They have kicked the habits, the enemies to the curb, and they will walk until they cannot anymore. They are holding. This heart: Stressed, yet staunch. Bleeding. Loving through the hatred. Able, and … Continue reading Humbled By Sight

Falling Away

What is it that you find when you observe what you have today? Are the things that you’ve created in the past the pillars of the answer you will convey?   Do you hold onto the past mistakes that hinder what you could be? Are those pillars of self-worth and confidence crumbling slowly into the sea?   Are the pillars made of discontent that you’ve … Continue reading Falling Away