Something useful was brought to my attention a few days ago. It was a statement made by a man that touched on the fact of everyone eventually dying. I can’t remember the exact words, but I do recall the thoughts I had. The progressive collection of my personal experiences after pondering his words brought me to a place of peace and humbleness, and this morning … Continue reading A Proper Burial
My friend Jeff was a beautiful soul and a kindred spirit. His simplicity towards life was something I admired. Even though I never asked him very detailed questions about why he’d chosen to live his life the way he did, I gathered my own assumptions. That was good enough for me at the time. Jeff was a man I had known since my childhood. I … Continue reading With So Much
I wonder what it is that convinces one to hang on to pain, even though he or she knows that it isn’t helping matters? It was always different than it is now, before I began to live in the present. How unaware I was—even though I reflected on a pain from the past, I was doing it in the present moment, which is truly the … Continue reading Always Dead. Always.
A calloused heart is what I saw in him. My father-in-law and I had a conversation about the man who murdered a family not far from our homes. We live in an area that is known for being neighborly, and the atmosphere surrounding our blocks seems to be picturesque, with a type of quietness that is inviting. Until, one night not long ago, a man … Continue reading Absence Of Embrace
I give thanks for the terrible situations. This morning is a dark and rainy one. The water is showering on the tin roof attached to the back portion of our home. I sit and write within shelter as the calming rain beats down on the metal, and it somehow reminds me of times that were devastating. Those little misunderstood triggers that bring about memories of … Continue reading Thanks
The progression of the setting sun really had me realize just how much truth there is to only having the present moment, and all other moments only being in the thoughts we have. Last night was a great experience here in the Ohio valley. The golden Autumn hue resided upon all of the magnificent colors that we find throughout Indiana. The reds and rusts are … Continue reading Falling Back
A friend is being taken off of life support today. I can’t help but wonder why we cannot forgive the past—both our own mistakes and those of others. The man going away today had so many reasons why my ego wouldn’t allow him to be a little closer in the latter days. I couldn’t handle his substance abuse. Yet, I sit and think about my … Continue reading Fade
When reading many of the writings of others, a common thread often appears: An escape is necessary. There has been so many roads along this personal journey. The times now behind have brought me to this very moment, and as reflection can be now be observed, I recall such disarray in my youthful ignorance. It was a bad, bad deal. I just didn’t know, as … Continue reading Take Me Away
My mother had told me a few days ago that my peace is due to the circumstances at the current point in my life. She is on the verge of finalizing her divorce. Her and I were having a conversation about the joys of life and how to recognize them in the moments of pain we all encounter in this life. As she was listening … Continue reading Undone
A collection of who I am is what I saw as I looked over many of the writings on the site. My blog fist began because of a desire to project my unique experiences into the world with hopes that someone, somewhere, would see their life in a different way. The ability to think about our personal lives–what we experience and how we process the … Continue reading Form
I heard the tune on Pandora this evening, and it had me thinking about recent weeks. When I was a kid, walking in nature was always one of my favorite things to do. My family, friends and I would often find ourselves in the wooded areas around our area. Camping, fishing, riding our bikes, just walking or sometimes sledding in the hilly trails during winter–we … Continue reading Brilliance
I travel familiar streets on the way home from work after I stop and grab the usual cup of coffee. Exceedingly traveled streets and roads—ones paved with a thousand stories and memories. I’ve been thinking heavily about the days when an old pal and myself would travel along the backroads, smoking and listening to the finest music. For hours, we could forget about the musts … Continue reading Several Miles
I sometimes search for names of old acquaintances on the Internet, just to see what may pop up. Last night, I had thought of an old co-worker and his very unique humor. He always wore these ridiculous green pants to work. We were in our teens and working the restaurant in the 90’s. I found that he went on to earn his PhD, while I … Continue reading Sad Eyes
I knocked on my father’s door at the end of the hall last night. I knew that it was his apartment because of the items outside of his door. He didn’t answer at first, but he finally did. As he appeared, his mostly naked body stumbled backward as he let me in. His nose clearly had been broken, his words were slurred, and his eyes … Continue reading A Man—No More Than A Dream
I ran across this song in February of 2019. It was just a few days after my father had passed. The song had so much emotion, as I also had, that was expressed through Thom’s unbelievably unique talent. My father was a mystery to me, but what little I did get to experience while knowing him was a mix of how this song makes me … Continue reading So Little Known
“He is risen!” The headline of the day is flooding our cyberspace, thoughts, gatherings (although limited during quarantine) and hearts. We, as Christ followers, are celebrating a day that is considered sacred within the eyes of so many. Each man and woman in His body has a certain way of looking at this day, and each heart is in it for their own individual reason. … Continue reading He Is, Always.
It may be a kind of confusing story, but I spend time with my deceased father at a local Denny’s restaurant. To start, I don’t have a delusional, schizophrenic malady. He’s not sitting in the booth with me or whispering his voice to me. Not crazy stuff. But, I do have a lot of memories about him while here. Funny thing is, we never spent … Continue reading “Table Or Booth?”
As a silent observer, I often view my world from the outside. In other words, I take the time to examine myself — the practicalities, emotions, responses, etc. Being in tune with me. This morning, I have been observing a recurring, personal fact. This post may be considered a bit morbid for some, but I tend to write from my heart. I often think about … Continue reading Awaiting
What if there were no boundaries? No dividing lines between? No two points of reference? No obscurities to be seen? What if we never lived in emotion? No driving force of fear? Not clouded by the worried mind that impairs what we see and hear? What if we were simply a part of His space? The space we fill with this and that? … Continue reading Unknowns
The fall of the leaves The lighting of sun’s fire The walk within the forest that I do so desire They bring back many memories of what was for so long in time that will never return with family and friend now gone We had our winsome moments around this time of change in years that will never return and this year it feels so … Continue reading In Layers Of Our Time
I visit the places from the wonder years — around the streets and drives of my past. Down the walks around blocks once journeyed. Somewhere in time, they still last. A bit older and a bit wiser — I long for the days with Dad. He lived in the heart of the city, and now I see why he had. Peaceful and quiet neighborhoods, little … Continue reading Days Of Old
The autumn evening sun reminds me of then; The days of the past — I remember when. My life was much different and the moments were bleak. The consequence was not a lesson and inner-voice did not speak. Sequestered spaces in shade with those of my kind. We’d wait for the darkness to alter the mind. Praising and passing our pleasure around. Burying our sorrow … Continue reading Setting
My dad has been gone for all of these days and I am seeing him now in many new ways I see my father in reflections and behind the closed doors I see him on the streets and in empty drawers He drove by me one day but it wasn’t him Perhaps he waved at me with my thoughts at whim I heard his voice … Continue reading The Resonance Of His Voice
I watched my grandfather, who lived to be 93 years of age, lie in bed after his wife had passed. He was dealing with a lot of sorrow after she had moved on to her eternal life. He would just stay in bed most of the time. I had a few limited interactions with him within those few months between my grandmother’s and his passing. … Continue reading In The End, Most Of This Doesn’t Matter
22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24 but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the … Continue reading We Fail To Trust The Walk Upon Our Waters
These past few days have been surreal. Since we laid my Father to rest and the family and I helped to eliminate the belongings from his home, I have been running through so many different thoughts, emotions and nothing short of extremely stinging sorrows. You may already know, but my father and I were distant. We had a huge falling out several years ago and … Continue reading Time In A Bottle
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