A Thought…
If you think saving others—somehow, some way—to wash away your own pain is the answer, it’s not. Acceptance is the key. Living in the now is all we have. Don’t attempt to convince yourself with subtle lies. Continue reading A Thought…
Category: disorder
Rest
I finally saw the man for who he was, underneath the callous front. The squint eyes and lines surrounding, permanently carved from scowl. The dark complexion and piercing stare. He never said much, and when he did it was polluted with negative energy. That guy, me, in the mirror. I’m finding something within myself that has been brought to surface in recent times. It has … Continue reading Rest
The Conception Falsehood
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In Attendance
It goes against the very grain of me to live in the Now. How often it has been throughout my life to go off into a time that only exists within my head; in memories of another now. The times when I had or went without. Times when things were not as good, or maybe better. Forgetting and most times ignoring those past times as … Continue reading In Attendance
It Cannot Be Unseen
Drifting off into a memory from the childhood–a simple memory that seems to stick with me throughout the years–took me by surprise Friday evening. I was probably no more than three at the time. It was definitely a clear, sunny day with plenty of lush greenery; spring or summer in the early Eighties. I witnessed a young man with a boombox on his shoulder, with … Continue reading It Cannot Be Unseen
Mind Control
A thought late last night entered my tired mind. It was about a person from my past. The thoughts sort of took over, as I dwelled upon what the person and I had gone through, and how the eventual end of our days together sort of hurt us both. This morning, I found myself still thinking about the person, but just a few minutes ago … Continue reading Mind Control
With Back Turned
What a joke these people are who say that, “God told them!” In addition, what a disgrace it is to see so many blindly following these men and women proclaiming that GOD HIMSELF told them things like who would become the president, what day the world would end and so on. You name it and it has probably been the message out of the mouth … Continue reading With Back Turned
In A Day
Maybe I’m not as paranoid as others feel the need to be? Do they need to feel paranoia? I sometimes wonder if a vast majority of the world thrives upon this delusion while traveling forward into the unknown; taking each setback and inevitable trial as a “told you so“ when the downfall does unfold. Is the world conditioned to fear? Is the fear only fueled … Continue reading In A Day
Yet Separated
I lookout into a stretch of lot. The stones lie beside one another. Connected by the adherence of composition; a substance of cooperation. Unlike the lot of stability, I saw the people parked and traveling upon it: nothing like this lot of cooperation. Not bonded together to make one. Not at all like its stability. It’s interesting how the same elements we share with the … Continue reading Yet Separated
King Of Pain
The past few days have brought me a few realizations that had not been completely embraced, until now. Spending a good amount of time alone is something I’ve learned to deal with. For the past three days, I have been taking a break from work. As my wife has been working third shift and sleeping the majority of the rest of the time, and as … Continue reading King Of Pain
Authors Of Confusion
I sometimes wonder if Christians long for a future in Heaven because they are just not comfortable? Are they not content within the present? Is it that they weren’t comfortable in their past? Are they ashamed of what they once were? These are all questions I have considered as I’ve walked the road of my personal faith. It’s been a battle for me to completely … Continue reading Authors Of Confusion
Liege
Rulers and kings of their own whom own nothing waste the days believing the world is to be consumed and taken before the next can take A price attached one only they can afford A bed prepared for the whore of Babylon made fast with fine silks of their own delusion Holy men with powdered wig ordained and tainted drenched in their hypocrisies … Continue reading Liege
What Do You Think About?
The Lord created our brains, and this life destroys it. Here’s a little bit of knowledge to help with understanding the complicated mind. https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/bad-thoughts Continue reading What Do You Think About?
Digging Our Own Hole
The habit of dwelling on the negatives was a daily necessity; an absolute need. For the great majority of my life, I had to remain focused on the limitations. If any sort of possibility presented itself, I would quickly shoot it down. I sit this morning and remember a time in my personal life when my self-esteem had me in the clinches of shame. The … Continue reading Digging Our Own Hole
Broken Bottles Of Deceit
I had a thought this morning that really had me questioning the sincerity of some who claim to be followers of Jesus. They give themselves the title, but yet, the fruit that they bear seems to often say otherwise. My mother speaks highly of a man whom she seems to know well. He is a neighbor of hers. He claims to be a “spiritual” person. … Continue reading Broken Bottles Of Deceit
A Refusal To Move
There are times when idleness within my life can become very destructive. It’s an ongoing battle I’ve dealt with for a great portion of my adult life. The following link is titled, Here Is Why Your Anxiety Is Getting Worse. I found it to be a great source of information, especially since I have an ongoing tendency to practice some of the patterns and bad … Continue reading A Refusal To Move
Complacency
A man whom I wish to not reveal the name of has been heavy on my mind throughout the last several months. This man is an acquaintance, and he is someone whom I have known for many years. I will use the name ‘Bill’ throughout the post for the name of my acquaintance. Bill and I began speaking to each other off and on nearly … Continue reading Complacency
Marred
A keen eye for detail. A very, almost obsessive-compulsive, distinguished habit of fixing every little feature of a task. I recently found a picture my mother or father had taken of me drawing cartoon characters. The specific time is something that I vividly recall. I was around five years of age and had received a ‘how to’ book which taught the basics of character sketching. … Continue reading Marred
My Journey 