The Enigma Of Being Comfortably Uncertain

There was a truth that presented itself this afternoon on my way home from the workplace. Maybe it was more of a collection of truths? As any reader could probably gather when visiting the blog and especially the last several posts, my focus has shifted to the acknowledgment of just how much I identify myself with mind: the voice that never stops chattering within me. … Continue reading The Enigma Of Being Comfortably Uncertain

True Value

In a recent visit to an old acquaintance’s website, I was again left with thoughts of inferiority and superiority swirling around within me. The religious blog, specifically that which is built around Christian Apologetics, is sometimes a place I visit just to see if the writer is still stroking his own ego. You see, the writer and I once had a go-around which ultimately led … Continue reading True Value

My Personal Observed Digest

Life is actually designed to challenge us; to work against us. It is not designed to work with us. We experience a bad situation (financial, relational, etc.), resolve or overcome it, and another one soon arises. When we expect life to work in our favor we experience pain and unhappiness. It’s a delusion to think that the world will do good for us if we … Continue reading My Personal Observed Digest

No Help Wanted

I find it puzzling to see just how many people are resistant to others helping them in ways that would benefit them. I’ve been doing some work for a family member. There was a time when I thought much like this person. Not being focused on anything other than the past or future was always how I identified myself. You could not tell me that … Continue reading No Help Wanted

Evading or Evolving?

The nook that I write at has been a place of many collective thoughts. Since we moved into our new home at the end of 2018, I set up shop here in our kitchen. The refurbished laptop purchased from eBay has been reliable throughout this writing journey. As I sit alone this morning and think about all of the words I’ve punched out on the … Continue reading Evading or Evolving?

Quiddity

The beginning of a transformative way of observation has been leeching. It is something that has latched onto my thinking mind and is slowly becoming the new normal. I took a long bike ride through the city yesterday evening. The five o’clock hour marked the beginning of a nine day vacation from the employer. It is always a freeing experience to ride for me, as … Continue reading Quiddity

In Between Spaces

There are small gaps in between these words and sentences, much like the spaces in between the thoughts behind them. When I began to write this morning, it occurred to me that my mind has been going through many changes throughout a somewhat short period of time. Several weeks has been an awakening of sorts. I’ve really noticed just how my little mind constantly speaks, … Continue reading In Between Spaces

A Different Shift

Beginning the weekend with a relaxing Saturday morning feels much different than it had in many years prior. The weekends mark a two-day stretch that is of great value after five days of strenuous work. I have a demanding job, both physically and mentally. Sitting at the nook in our kitchen and knowing that the moment holds little more than the quiet hums of the … Continue reading A Different Shift

Inner Stillness Of Its Song

The beautiful birdsongs of morning A stillness in the light The comfort of a peaceful mind after a rest in night An easy Sunday ante meridiem Calm like lake of glass Space between present ponders No future or past Meditation and observation No judgment of events No worry of things to come No passion for what ego resents Too much on my plate come tomorrow … Continue reading Inner Stillness Of Its Song

The Greatest Addiction

To free myself of the addiction of overthinking is in the works. I’ve spent some time going over the past few years of posts within this blog of mine in recent weeks. Writing about the experiences I had throughout time seemed to help me process the inner frustrations and insecurities. Being transparent, publicly, served as a therapy to help me identify those issues causing my … Continue reading The Greatest Addiction

A Trace

I sat and thought for a moment about those people in time… I remember meeting up with S—- while walking home from school some year during high school. I maybe had met him only once, but that single time we had shared together had its significance, enough for me to say, ‘What’s up, man?’ We rode in his mother’s car, I do remember. We all … Continue reading A Trace

5:16 a.m.

Never before have I felt this way. When the anxiety has left, the nervousness and tension from thinking about the past or future no longer holds me in its firm grip, and when I know that the only true time I have is this very moment, I am truly, “there.” Yes, I’m there. The question used to be asked as I would go about each … Continue reading 5:16 a.m.

Mind Control

A thought late last night entered my tired mind. It was about a person from my past. The thoughts sort of took over, as I dwelled upon what the person and I had gone through, and how the eventual end of our days together sort of hurt us both. This morning, I found myself still thinking about the person, but just a few minutes ago … Continue reading Mind Control

Evergreen and Pal

The beginning of Spring has a way of motivating me, providing ideal temperatures and tranquility through the gift of sensory. Saturday is my day of rest. Being lazy is the goal. Giving it my all throughout the week and then resting on the seventh day is just something that eventually took hold over the past several years. The routine is pretty standard: My wife brings … Continue reading Evergreen and Pal

Brilliance

I heard the tune on Pandora this evening, and it had me thinking about recent weeks. When I was a kid, walking in nature was always one of my favorite things to do. My family, friends and I would often find ourselves in the wooded areas around our area. Camping, fishing, riding our bikes, just walking or sometimes sledding in the hilly trails during winter–we … Continue reading Brilliance

We Think

The UPS man and I had a conversation yesterday about the negative people of the world. There are two individuals of whom we are both acquainted with that absolutely will suck the life from you, if you allow it. He had made a comment to me at one point that I really had trouble accepting. He said that he enjoys talking to me, and that … Continue reading We Think

Unfathomed

I asked the question in a previous post, ‘I wonder what lies beyond the objective and subjective world?’ My intention was to receive feedback of different viewpoints, but I only received one response from a faithful follower of mine. His response was, “I believe this unknown area is where Truth is found.” My first thought was that “the Truth” he was referring to is Jesus. … Continue reading Unfathomed

Social Distortion

I’m not sure why so many people these days are taking things to extremes, such as their religious beliefs, political views and opinions. I am not very happy with social media. It seems as though I only hold onto it for the sake of my family. It’s a nice way to stay connected to people who, unfortunately in most cases, have forgotten how to knock … Continue reading Social Distortion

Gaining My True Joy, In Steps

Everything is, for most of us, perceived (in a conceptual view) through the filter of mental emotional conditioning of the past. In turn, it is how we identify ourselves and the world in which we live. This results in only being aware of the object consciousness, and not the space consciousness… The silence between thoughts, or space consciousness, is what I’m learning about. Continue reading Gaining My True Joy, In Steps

Sad Eyes

I sometimes search for names of old acquaintances on the Internet, just to see what may pop up. Last night, I had thought of an old co-worker and his very unique humor. He always wore these ridiculous green pants to work. We were in our teens and working the restaurant in the 90’s. I found that he went on to earn his PhD, while I … Continue reading Sad Eyes

Lesson

So many times throughout these last few weeks, I’ve found myself having to take control of the wandering thoughts. These thoughts, which in turn lead to the emotions that have absolutely ruined my life in years passed, have been making their way in. It’s mysterious: the thoughts that I know that I don’t need have a way of inching into my efforts of keeping them … Continue reading Lesson

More Distractions

This quiet home on a Saturday morning is a marvelous thing. My wife was on her way home from her shift at the hospital while the kids were away at their grandparent’s place. I had just sat down to the first sip of coffee as I listened to the low hums of my surroundings. Birds were mostly silent as they hunkered in their hidings. It … Continue reading More Distractions

A Sound of Silence

The memory of a large Conch shell that used to lay upon the floor at my grandparent’s home was the spark to the flame of wistful homesickness. I had the piercing longing come over me as I noticed an image of a similar shell within the newsfeed during my morning routine in front of this laptop screen. The waking mind is open to wavering mentation, … Continue reading A Sound of Silence

Yeah…

At 2:59 a.m., I sit a type out the truth of my life. It is not of any use to anyone but me, but being able to do so helps. I’m tired. My back has been hurting for the last eighteen or so hours and I am up way too early. I have to work all day and, to be honest, I would call in … Continue reading Yeah…

The World Isn’t Kind

If it were up to me, I would keep my mind shut off from the constant battle between…good and evil? I really cannot say what has transpired in recent weeks, but there is a residual feeling of uneasiness that has been hanging over my head. Sometimes it is difficult to say with certainty that it is an attack of the supernatural (i.e. Devil), but something … Continue reading The World Isn’t Kind

Diary Entry

I woke up. It was enough for me this morning to just be grateful for waking. Taken for granted, most days. Yesterday had its own worries and blessings, and I am assured today will be the same. She has a new diagnosis. She read about the devastating effects the shit could very well have on her. At worst, fatal. Watching her lock herself in the … Continue reading Diary Entry

Fear Prohibits

Presently Not a waiting game Nothing to unfold Only a space in a name… Labels for our physical We must identify Missing the present Behind our corporeal lie… Weaving the fabric Missing what’s beyond Figuring and factoring We lead ourselves on… Trueness is missed Our need for a need Silence dismissed Our presence is greed… Most can’t escape Many have not a clue… Removal of … Continue reading Fear Prohibits

King Of Pain

The past few days have brought me a few realizations that had not been completely embraced, until now. Spending a good amount of time alone is something I’ve learned to deal with. For the past three days, I have been taking a break from work. As my wife has been working third shift and sleeping the majority of the rest of the time, and as … Continue reading King Of Pain

Wake

In a morning when the sun has reached the horizon colors play The dance begins Gracefully passing its majesty wakes the cloud Amber and Opal of our atmosphere Purple haze beyond the cloud I’m near All gives way to the brightening morn Singing songs of birds adorn Wake us and accompany our day distant one Give life to all that is near once again   Continue reading Wake

Branded

Kudos to those: The ones who claim to have a grip. The ones who pretend, like children in fantasy worlds. The ones who believe they have found the undisputed truths, with proven alternatives beside. The ones who make their lives appealing before the eyes of spectators because they are not happy with the internal; behind the eyes of insecurity and the lies they convince themselves … Continue reading Branded

Nah.

If the day is mine, then no, I won’t go. For the rain is enough for me to stay inside. It’s not that I don’t enjoy your company, but I have a need for my nothings. If the time is not right, why not put it off for another day? If the day never comes, it wasn’t meant to be. Is this a no-no in … Continue reading Nah.

Outside Of The Box Is Love

How sweet of them, to leave such valuable donations. Soiled, pizzle-stained mattress; sofa in part Vomit for the next baby to securely be seated in. How wonderful! A pillow with louse! The hearts of the generous–giving their trash for a good cause, and leaving the next heart broken. Continue reading Outside Of The Box Is Love

Harassments

Out of all the things there are to focus on, people gladly choose the hell of the world. A man whom I have worked with for many years is really showing his true self lately. Every single workday I can hear his troubled voice, backed with his boisterous theories, spreading the negative to others. Twenty, thirty, or possibly even more minutes are spent on his … Continue reading Harassments

Revisiting

An old writing of mine, revisited.   Collected Fragments Of My Time– August, 2018 The memories of my grandfather and his work shed. There was an addition off to the side of a one car garage that was made into his work area. The small space was a place where he frequently spent his time. As a young boy, I would venture out to watch … Continue reading Revisiting

Monday

There used to be a few people in my life that would do everything within their power to bring others around them down. Unbeknownst, these individuals had a poor grip on their own reality. With every miserable breath they took, the misery was exhaled. It was so sad to watch. What was even worse was the willingness I had to allow their sadness to rub … Continue reading Monday

The Clenching

How truly hard it is to genuinely be a kind man. I work with a mix of personalities, mostly men. Being a full-time worker, I end up spending more time with them than I do my own family. It is sometimes very hard to not focus upon errors that occur. Our jobs are intricate, and they are expected to be conducted in a harmonious manor … Continue reading The Clenching