Rebuke

Each day is a new opportunity to quit with the disapproval of myself. I think back to those days when I was the butt of the joke. I had a group of friends who would make me the center of laughs. I allowed it. When we as young teens would get together, smoke pot and drink, the giggles came naturally. We were always high. Everyone … Continue reading Rebuke

The Calamities In You

I don’t read what most have to say. Yesterday was a beautiful morning. There is a certain long stretch of road surrounded by the landscape of trees that I especially enjoy in the early morning, as the sun’s rays display nicely there. I have been taking the road for the last few months on my commute to work. It’s a peaceful beginning to the inevitable … Continue reading The Calamities In You

So Little Known

I ran across this song in February of 2019. It was just a few days after my father had passed. The song had so much emotion, as I also had, that was expressed through Thom’s unbelievably unique talent. My father was a mystery to me, but what little I did get to experience while knowing him was a mix of how this song makes me … Continue reading So Little Known

While Things Come And Go

Your needs–are they becoming? Is anything outside of your desire to be right a need, you self-righteous pig?! The man in the mirror, mirroring the scar. Those things of yesterday–of hours, no longer relevant–still destroying you and everything/everyone around you. Becoming.     Scapegoat! Filthy animal! You should have killed them while you had the chance! You could be living with the guilt… Oh wait, … Continue reading While Things Come And Go

Fulcrum

There are times, like right now, when I begin to wonder how God could love me. The are ways in me that, if I can, He can see, that are sinful. Brothers will say, “You MUST change your way”, yet, I’m selfish. I sometimes believe that a devil can deceive, while a God has saved. Other times, I am lost… If He died on the … Continue reading Fulcrum

Behind those Foster Grants Of Life

It is interesting to see how the emotions play such a huge part in our experiences. I turned on my computer this morning to see a small monkey gripping firmly to a tree branch as the Windows program was booting up. Random pictures appear in this process, and they are usually accompanied by a few words to draw interest that pertains to the image. Anyway, … Continue reading Behind those Foster Grants Of Life

The Feed

Fear is waiting in the shadows, and it patiently watches you. It takes its seat a few chairs down. You go on without a clue. Closely, it observes your routine. It studies your schedule. It has an endless time to plan ahead, never losing its cool. It uses tools that you feed upon, like the devices you willingly watch. It uses the writings upon your … Continue reading The Feed

Rhetoricals

Why are some inhuman? Why do some toy with the emotions by tearing away at the most vulnerable parts of others? Why do the Christians use the wrath of Old to portray the New of Jesus, as if He is some sort of bipolar lunatic? Why do they hate, with love? Why do they fervently read His Word, while never understanding His Word? Do they … Continue reading Rhetoricals

Late

Foolishly, we wait. Along the roadside of our expectations, we wait for someone to rescue us from our despondency. We wait for the new day to bring the same somethings that have been available to us all along. We wait for a change, to satisfy, with the hope of it staying for more than the familiar sojourn. We wait there, at the shoulder of our … Continue reading Late

Burned Alive

It’s not about the things in them you hate, it’s about the things in you that obliterate. You longed to fix everyone outside, as you took a look at yourself and lied. It’s much easier for you to blame, than to see what’s truly fueling hate’s flame. Everyone walked away after trying, but you just wouldn’t listen…. Now, you’re dying. You played with the fire … Continue reading Burned Alive

Times of Some

Sometimes, it’s the setting sun. It’s the way the tree appears featureless as the light on the horizon, behind her, is leaving for the eve. A silhouette, left in the dark, until the light returns to brighten another day… sometimes.   Sometimes, its the song. Three single notes, pulling the fears from the eyes, as the acoustic speaks what we couldn’t say. Taking all the … Continue reading Times of Some

Facade

God knows the secrets we hide. The things hidden from the world, kept inside. A front for the masses, to make one look good, is a mask for our fears — things misunderstood. A day spent in words and expressions to see, is not really all that’s in you or me. The thoughts that you cover from the brother you deride are exposed to the … Continue reading Facade

She And He Almighty

I figured she would start another argument today, instead, she demanded someone definitely should pay! She is miserable, you see, and she needs others to always know that somehow, someone else is the reason she is low. It’s a constant pattern within this woman who never fails to see! The blinded know-it-all, telling all how they should be. He’s a man of honor, at least, … Continue reading She And He Almighty

Insomnia Show

The mind never pauses. Even when tired, and during those sleepless nights, it crawls. Pushing its way through the perceptions of senses — firing and short-circuiting. The hare and the tortoise compete. With eyes falling silently closed, the vision of our creative element performs — our personal Hamlet, on the fly. As lids open, the rushing and random remains: ‘What did I do with that……………is … Continue reading Insomnia Show

What We Want VS What We Need

Knowing exactly what I personally don’t want in life — after making all of the bad choices that led to dismay — has paved the way to my current place of contentment. It’s a wonderful feeling to have the majority of your ducks in a row, but I say this with great humility. I’ll be the first to admit: I’ve been the worst! The absolute … Continue reading What We Want VS What We Need

Unsettled

These last few days have been pretty strange. I can’t really put my finger on it, but the atmosphere has a certain feel to it that is not the usual here in my personal space. It could be the weather that has been unseasonably warm for this time of year, but I think it goes much deeper than that. It may be that I am … Continue reading Unsettled

In Tune With You

I listen to a lot of music, especially on the weekends. I can honestly say that I’ve been through just about every genre the world has to offer, with the exception of the one’s that I cannot tolerate. Music has always been a part of me. I recall my house always being filled with an ambiance of a beat of some sort. My mother and … Continue reading In Tune With You

Their Futile Rumination

When things are grey, much like the skies over our foreseen days of cabin fever, we look into ourselves. The walls close in. We begin to think of things that aren’t true: Do they care? Do I matter? Why me? Am I as good as I tell myself?   The grey impedes. Shortened days and wearisome nights. Patience restrained. Diving deeper into the abyss of … Continue reading Their Futile Rumination

A Table For Two

I was right on time yesterday for the lunch date I had with her. As I walked in the door at the local dive we had agreed to, I glanced over the room to find her. At the corner of the room, she was sitting in a booth, positioned to where she would easily be able to see me come in. As I noticed her, … Continue reading A Table For Two

Gab and Jab

I was listening to the lyrics of a song when I began to see a great truth within everyone. This “truth” is the realities of our individual experiences: Everything that we have been through and have experienced with our senses. The way we have seen our individual worlds and all that we have become, up until this very moment. Our reality; what is real, solely, … Continue reading Gab and Jab

Memory

The man who broke her heart. The perfect moment in time. The day they plunged into the cold lake after two bottles of wine. The day he lost his fortune, after pissing it away. The night the bridge had closed after her brother jumped into the bay. The long line at the soup kitchen, where they ran out of supply before the man could get … Continue reading Memory

Lacerations

It has been humbling in recent weeks to recognize how so many individuals are incredibly self-absorbed. My wife and I sometimes watch a television show about couples who are married at first sight. They have no knowledge of each other preceding the union of marriage. Throughout the period of several weeks, the couples go through the processes of getting to know each other, while three … Continue reading Lacerations

Faithful To The Fire

You place yourself higher than others, by explaining it all. The man with the answers. How great thou art… without any flaw. It must be the best life to know you are best. To walk among the sheep, and to quickly attest that Christianity is ignorance and faith is a delusion. Should we abandon our God and assume your godly conclusion? Please explain this life, … Continue reading Faithful To The Fire

Days Of Old

I visit the places from the wonder years — around the streets and drives of my past. Down the walks around blocks once journeyed. Somewhere in time, they still last. A bit older and a bit wiser — I long for the days with Dad. He lived in the heart of the city, and now I see why he had. Peaceful and quiet neighborhoods, little … Continue reading Days Of Old

He Sat Alone

I couldn’t drag the man away… from himself. From himself — long enough for him to take a look. To take a look… to peer into the man that others see. The arrogant, self-centered and proud man. The man surrounded by trophies and awards. The man of importance. He wouldn’t step aside. He wouldn’t come over to the table where my friend and I were … Continue reading He Sat Alone

Becoming

What a difference it makes to wake up with an attitude of gratitude. I had shared a caption on social media yesterday that reads, “Don’t wait for things to get better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now, otherwise you’ll run out of time.” As I’m waking up this morning, I am taking the time to remember the truth of these … Continue reading Becoming

The Short Distance

Time is not on our side. The clock is ticking–counting down. Life began in a flash, and it ends the same way. We breathe in life, and exhale our demise.   The heart and brain. The skeletal structure. All of the fibers and… the blood.   The imagery gathered by the eyes that examine. The mind that translates. Tasting, touching and feeling; sensing what our … Continue reading The Short Distance

Fragility

The mind can destroy a man as it sits idle The voice it produces begins as a whisper gaining speed– now, as loud as the tornado tearing through the moment ripping through the shelter: the one the mind believed could withstand it all…   Fill it with noise.   Stimulate it with these things you find: Temporary whispers Fleeting tornadoes Welcomed torments Say goodbye to … Continue reading Fragility

Us

Peering into the man who sits in the waking hour I share the thoughts he has and the things that he desires Observing his every motion feeling those aches and pains Looking at the day ahead wondering how we will maintain I tell him, ‘we are only in the now’ but he lives in another time He searches for good reason to dwell on what … Continue reading Us

Eternal Calm

Silencing the mind hearing the natural sound Peace in the stillness loud chatter all around A cicada sounds its tymbals The bird has its say in their place of the light illuminating new day Why should I worry about the stressors ahead It changes nothing I remember what He said… “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life…” He goes on to … Continue reading Eternal Calm

“Life just sucks” – My Journey

A previous writing of mine. Not that I feel that life sucks right now, but things sometimes change, making life a drag. The post is for the broken. It is for those who are at a point in their lives where affliction has taken control. Take heart: God is always with you! https://my-journey-online.com/2018/09/27/sometimes-life-just-sucks/ Continue reading “Life just sucks” – My Journey

What The Morning Holds

I remember a time when the light of day was a burden. A completely dreadful time. It was the beginning of another day of worries, anxieties, worthlessness and hopelessness. Each time I would rise in the morning began a course that ushered in the nightmarish realities of my existence. I had to take action. Their is a quote from a fictional character in a movie, … Continue reading What The Morning Holds

One Of Two Ways

How often others are so incredibly determined to seek and destroy, simply because they themselves are already destroyed in some way. From here on out, there will be a small group of atheists peeking at my posts and seeking an opportunity to cut me down. It’s been a tough last few days going back and forth with these people who desire to pull anyone and … Continue reading One Of Two Ways

A Refusal To Move

There are times when idleness within my life can become very destructive. It’s an ongoing battle I’ve dealt with for a great portion of my adult life. The following link is titled, Here Is Why Your Anxiety Is Getting Worse. I found it to be a great source of information, especially since I have an ongoing tendency to practice some of the patterns and bad … Continue reading A Refusal To Move

His Hands

There is a certain feel when it comes to being up early and not having to rush to do anything. No work must be performed. No thoughts of what I have to do within the day ahead. Nothing to do but listen to the rain on the tin roof along the back partial of our home as the birds sing, enjoying their free bath. Nothing … Continue reading His Hands

My Struggle With Isolation (Part 2)

Link to My Struggle With Isolation (Part 1) Being locked away with one’s own thoughts has unlimited consequences. With little stimulation outside of the deficient thought patterns and things of focus, the mind goes in circles. Little is ever new. The habits become engrained and the decay begins, bringing about so many of those harmful, consequential results. Soon, the seclusion becomes a lifestyle. A life … Continue reading My Struggle With Isolation (Part 2)

My Struggle With Isolation (Part 1)

It is no surprise to me, being the introvert that I am, to find myself retreating. Pulling back is not only a true blessing, but can also be a very destructive practice. Retreating is something that I have done from a very early age, and I truly believe it has much to do with being an only child. It also has to do with the … Continue reading My Struggle With Isolation (Part 1)

Realized

We cannot judge the heart of our neighbor. It is not up to us. How often we see and conclude from the surface of our fellow neighbor. We observe the outward man, but we do not see the true nature of that man as God does. So many, including myself, have the tendency to conclude one’s definition based on appearance, personality and limited knowledge of … Continue reading Realized

Emptiness And The Empathetic Hiatus

I’m so tired from trying to save someone dear to me. Literally, I am drained to the max. There is a person who is sitting alone, everyday, chain smoking their cigarettes and being entertained by little animals. Contained in a little box. The delusions and lies, finger-pointing and blameless character keeps many from knocking at their door. I’m drained. Drained because of their failure to … Continue reading Emptiness And The Empathetic Hiatus

Stillness Lies Ahead

This message from Paul to Philippi is what I had read this morning. 4 Rejoice in the LORD always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The LORD is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, … Continue reading Stillness Lies Ahead

The Lies We Tell

Sometimes I sit and wonder if I am okay with the lies that I tell myself. Am I okay with being unhealthy after my doctor tells me that my diet is destroying me? Am I okay with the little sin that I continue to give in to? Am I seriously okay with the people who continue to hurt me? Am I okay with the complacency? … Continue reading The Lies We Tell

I’m Tired…

You sure can’t fix others. There has been an ongoing struggle between myself and a loved one that I have been writing about lately. Once again, we are at a standstill. Joe and I, not the real name of the person but what I will call them, have been fighting a serious battle. Long story short, Joe and I have a hard time letting things … Continue reading I’m Tired…

“I’m Not Changing!!”

“Not listening.” Something I have struggled with throughout my life. Purposely shutting my ears off. Shutting people out. Not wanting to hear the other person. As I’m growing older, I find myself at times wandering off as I’m listening to others speak. My brain begins to focus on a thought and I totally miss what I was trying to hear. I need to work on … Continue reading “I’m Not Changing!!”

Abiding In HIM, Not Others

I am honestly enthralled by the Gospel of John! When I first began reading the Bible several years ago, John’s account was very captivating. In his personal and up-close view into Christ’s identity, he shows us that Jesus, though fully God, came in the flesh to distinctly and accurately reveal God, and that Christ is the source of eternal life to all who believe in … Continue reading Abiding In HIM, Not Others

My Choice…

I scribbled a short note to myself and placed it on the instrument panel in my car several months ago. I see it nearly everyday. I need it daily. Sometimes thoughts take me to places far from remaining in a good place. I pray this morning that you also remain at peace, in love, in a similar “good place” with God, yourself and others. Continue reading My Choice…

Is He A Brave Man?

The wind is blowing so hard outside this morning. I can hear the house crackling in various places. It sounds like the rushing waves of the ocean are crashing out there. A trash can is beating about the alley that runs behind our house. Our wind chime seems to be very busy. I had let my dog out and looked up to see an edge … Continue reading Is He A Brave Man?

The Atrocities Of Our Pride

Something really spoke to me this morning. I thought I would take a few minutes to write about something that I find within myself, and maybe you do too? That nasty thing that God hates; Pride. It may be a little harsh to say that God hates pride. I’m only going there because it’s evident that He most certainly wasn’t okay with it when He … Continue reading The Atrocities Of Our Pride

Presently Within

If you have been reading my posts lately, you have seen the writings about the therapy sessions I have been attending with a loved one. We had another session this past Thursday. I would like to share some key lessons we both have learned within our time together. For anonymity purposes, I will only refer to the person as my loved one. My loved one … Continue reading Presently Within