A Sound of Silence

The memory of a large Conch shell that used to lay upon the floor at my grandparent’s home was the spark to the flame of wistful homesickness. I had the piercing longing come over me as I noticed an image of a similar shell within the newsfeed during my morning routine in front of this laptop screen. The waking mind is open to wavering mentation, … Continue reading A Sound of Silence

Hurtful Truth

I’m the crazy one? Being diagnosed with psychosis isn’t sometimes easy for the recipient. It takes a lot to admit that something may be a little off within the brain and that one would benefit from medications. I’m one of them, and I can assure you that getting past the initial pride that opened the door to healing was a difficult season. In the long … Continue reading Hurtful Truth

Considered

Perspective is so distorted by an individual’s fear, I am finding. For a great majority of my own life, fear played a huge part. It was always there. It had its say no matter what aspect or time period of my youth had manifested. These times are remembered with great vividness. Fortunately, there is a contrast now that looks nothing like those old days. I … Continue reading Considered

With Back Turned

What a joke these people are who say that, “God told them!” In addition, what a disgrace it is to see so many blindly following these men and women proclaiming that GOD HIMSELF told them things like who would become the president, what day the world would end and so on. You name it and it has probably been the message out of the mouth … Continue reading With Back Turned

God For Sale

I’m beginning to understand God a bit more via the works and beliefs of a delusional religious man and his faithful followers. Unfortunately, a self-proclaimed “prophet” has been in and out of my interests as of late. I was introduced to Curt Landry through a friend. The friend was forwarding me video links a pushy co-worker had been sending him. He and I could do … Continue reading God For Sale

The World Isn’t Kind

If it were up to me, I would keep my mind shut off from the constant battle between…good and evil? I really cannot say what has transpired in recent weeks, but there is a residual feeling of uneasiness that has been hanging over my head. Sometimes it is difficult to say with certainty that it is an attack of the supernatural (i.e. Devil), but something … Continue reading The World Isn’t Kind

Beatdown

The following is a personal testimony. This testimony is intentionally being placed within categories that Christians frequently post, with the intent of many of them realizing how I personally view many of the writings found within. I will start by saying that I will be direct and blunt within my testimony. Honesty is the best policy. With that, I will not be pointing fingers directly … Continue reading Beatdown

Pruned

As I peered into the back yard yesterday through the basement door window, thoughts took shape. A certain epiphany, in connection with the purpose of my place in objective and subjective reality, sparked a chain of bewilderment. As I studied the recently butchered Maple–the trunk left, with branches cut away–and the memory of its once, regal brawn, I thought about my place here. We took … Continue reading Pruned

Our Peaceful Land

Wonderfully crafted food for thought is what we Americans seem to thrive upon… Although, it is far from wonderful!! The end-of-year holidays have me indoors for longer periods than usual. I have appreciated the goodness of spending time with my family and resting from labors, but the news has entered my periodic divisions of boredom. Mornings consist of feeding myself the many different views and, … Continue reading Our Peaceful Land

Honestly…

Keeping the distance from most is probably what is best for me. There is a difference within us all, I believe it is fair to say, when it comes to the relationships we have with others. Loved ones, friends, acquaintances–all have their places within our own perspectives. We all decide accordingly pertaining to how we should handle each one of them. I have been thinking … Continue reading Honestly…

Why I Do Not Write

It has been a few years now… A blog was suggested by a friend on a social media site. I was continuously posting my thoughts–mainly of my new-found relationship with Jesus–on the feed that everyone had access to. My beliefs were firm and assertive, and the way I wrote each post was somewhat controversial. After all, there were many whom did not possess a belief … Continue reading Why I Do Not Write

In A Day

Maybe I’m not as paranoid as others feel the need to be? Do they need to feel paranoia? I sometimes wonder if a vast majority of the world thrives upon this delusion while traveling forward into the unknown; taking each setback and inevitable trial as a “told you so“ when the downfall does unfold. Is the world conditioned to fear? Is the fear only fueled … Continue reading In A Day

Ready To Fire

It hurts to see what I don’t like about myself in others. When a realization paralyzes me to the point of having to stop for a moment and collect myself, it truly hits a nerve. The other day, I had an experience that took me back to an earlier time in my life. A single derogatory word was thrown into the atmosphere, intending to make … Continue reading Ready To Fire

Hubris

They all believe they are correct.  As winter is approaching, I am spending more time indoors. We have been blessed with some unseasonably warm weather here in the Ohio Valley, but the annual transition to consistently cooler weather is beginning. It is bringing me to more of the indoor piddling and reading that I typically spend my time doing during the cold months. I also … Continue reading Hubris

Moving Day

I’ve been spending time of mornings away from the writing here at WordPress. Writing is just not as useful to me as it once had been. When I started this blog, I had a goal: share my personal testimony, with the hope of others seeing the glory of God through Jesus Christ within those accounts of my life. My road has had many ups and … Continue reading Moving Day

Emptied

Silence is best at times. I haven’t been writing as much. The life outside of a small screen has had so much to show me. Recent times have brought about a calling to see just how quiet I can become. Is it what they call, “zen?” I’d say so. My wife and I just took a very long drive through three states, admiring the natural … Continue reading Emptied

For ‘Good’ Reason

Simply put, in my personal perspective, some people are bored as hell. I don’t know why I drift towards reading the posts of a man whom I no longer follow, but I do. I guess it is because of his need to destroy the world with his judgment? I really can’t stand to see a mere man pointing the finger at everyone while thinking that … Continue reading For ‘Good’ Reason

Theo And Benny

Take a few minutes… https://www.cbsnews.com/news/utah-boy-halloween-skeleton-best-friend/ It is a nice story in these current times. I believe Theo has his priorities in perfect order; a two year old boy has more sense than a lot of the adults that are roaming the planet right now. I did my usual surf of the newsfeed this morning after opening my search engine. The nearing presidency is taking up … Continue reading Theo And Benny

Guess I’m Not, ‘Cause Someone Said So

I have a stalker! What an ignorant man I must be! The guy on the other end (the stalker) must think that I have no way of knowing when he has viewed my posts. Newsflash: I see you! It’s unbelievable how wrapped up we can become in others. Having means to do so has increased tenfold via means of the wonderful world of technological advances. … Continue reading Guess I’m Not, ‘Cause Someone Said So

Shame On You!

Why are people prone to believing that their way is the way? That’s the question I have been asking myself this evening. It is a question I often ponder. And, for starters, I am talking exclusively about the way of personal belief in and of Christian apologetics. I am really disgusted, like many other times in the past, with the views of a few individuals … Continue reading Shame On You!

Rooted In Being

What good staying away has done! There are many things that I have been straying from, and I couldn’t be more satisfied with where it has led me. For starters, I was spending way too much time within the devices we are all hooked on, like some sort of back alley junkie. Always needing my fix of the mostly phony facade. Looking through the screen … Continue reading Rooted In Being

Diary Entry

I woke up. It was enough for me this morning to just be grateful for waking. Taken for granted, most days. Yesterday had its own worries and blessings, and I am assured today will be the same. She has a new diagnosis. She read about the devastating effects the shit could very well have on her. At worst, fatal. Watching her lock herself in the … Continue reading Diary Entry

Bad Medicine

Writing is not as therapeutic as it once was. I believe, in many ways, writing is an excellent way to process emotions. Unfortunately, my emotions have had a lot of control (probably due to the fact of being bipolar to a certain degree). I’m beginning to recognize how writing, while dwelling on the topics I choose to write about, more often than not cause me … Continue reading Bad Medicine

Obscured Observance

People need content. They need something to think about. Less than a week ago I had decided to stop blogging for an unknown period of time. The things that I was allowing into my life, via posts I had been reading, were causing me to get very irritated. During my temporary hiatus, I have noticed that more people are actually following my blog. Well, they … Continue reading Obscured Observance

Better Days Ahead

What a sad and cheerless world… I’m getting closer to being done with WordPress. My decision may change in time, but due to most of the posts lacking any sort of inspiration, I’m thinking about hanging it up. The walk along the road lead me to a choice to blog. With Jesus in mind, I began writing about how His provision was/is a part of … Continue reading Better Days Ahead

Just A Man

I looked into the eyes of a man in a photo this morning. He is an esteemed leader in a mega-church. Thousands of people love his teachings of the Bible, and they respect his rank of Senior Pastor within the church. “Senior Pastor” is a title that the world has crafted up based on our merit system. Nothing to do with the Bible, but that’s … Continue reading Just A Man

Something To Do

It is intriguing for me to observe the interests of others and to wonder why they do what they do. It’s also important. Being a deep thinker is hereditary, I’m finding. As I grow older, I’m beginning to see just how much of my father is really in here. He would study people (not in a creepy stalking manner, FYI), observing their words, facial expressions … Continue reading Something To Do

We’re All Going To Die!

The real killer is not COVID-19, it is fear. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, fear is the driving force the world thrives upon. I cannot go anywhere or read anything without recognizing it. Usually, the fear turns into some other form of emotion, such as hate. I read a post from a woman last night on Facebook that had me boiling. She, … Continue reading We’re All Going To Die!

Again…

The morning opened with a familiar sin. Crawling out of bed was quickly greeted by the weak and tired mind being obscured by a sin that I continuously struggle with. It’s not surprising. I know full well just how bad the particular vice I struggle with is, yet I sometimes give in to its tempting pull. It’s no excuse, I know. If we are called … Continue reading Again…

Where Ends Meet

After a long work week, I spent some time cycling along the roads of the city. There are lots of neighborhoods, rural roads, wooded areas with dirt trails, and the streets I used to frequent when I did live in my hometown. I choose to ride in these areas because it is good for my thoughts as I take in all of the oxygen. Cardio … Continue reading Where Ends Meet

King Of Pain

The past few days have brought me a few realizations that had not been completely embraced, until now. Spending a good amount of time alone is something I’ve learned to deal with. For the past three days, I have been taking a break from work. As my wife has been working third shift and sleeping the majority of the rest of the time, and as … Continue reading King Of Pain

The Quest For Hope

I’m going to be completely transparent this evening, and it may disappoint a few. There is a lingering sadness that hangs over my head. It is not a type of emotional condition that one may quickly identify with or relate to, but rather a true part of me that life has courteously thrown my way. I use the word sadness to define the overall condition … Continue reading The Quest For Hope

Oh, How They Love The Self-Patronizing!

“The old has gone, the new is here!” Yes, that is from 2 Corinthians 5 in what is called the New International Version (NIV). I’ve been up and down the road of religious uneasiness for several years, and it was because of words like these that I had such a bad experience. The “old” me: the one that I had struggled to make even the … Continue reading Oh, How They Love The Self-Patronizing!

Now

So much sadness fills the hearts of people. No time for the fruits of His Spirit. You know, love, joy, peace, and so on. The opposing is rather forceful, it seems. The demons we possess–both past, present, and anticipated future–contaminate the light, pulling us into those places that no longer exist… Just in our heads. The heart aligns with those places. The opposing is familiar. … Continue reading Now

God Is With You, So Move On

When my dad was in his fifties, he began a change. These ways were limited to my view, as I was just beginning to visit him again after a three year hiatus. He was no longer a part of the family in any way, as he had separated from my mother and I perpetually. It was not until he and I reunited that I noticed … Continue reading God Is With You, So Move On

Branded

Kudos to those: The ones who claim to have a grip. The ones who pretend, like children in fantasy worlds. The ones who believe they have found the undisputed truths, with proven alternatives beside. The ones who make their lives appealing before the eyes of spectators because they are not happy with the internal; behind the eyes of insecurity and the lies they convince themselves … Continue reading Branded

Missing Text

Are we all on the same page? It’s obviously a silly question, as no two people are alike. I have been home today and sleeping soundly. Heading to work this morning, I began to feel like my body was weighted down by a crippling heaviness, and it was not being relieved with ample amounts of coffee. After arriving at my job and pushing through for … Continue reading Missing Text

Aggregate

I found the piece of paper bearing the formula yesterday. It was like finding a fading photograph of an old friend. The memories of that time–like a song that took me right back to a certain place in life–flooded my morning. The moment I found it, I reflected on a major turning point in my life. Sitting down several years ago to write the final … Continue reading Aggregate

He Who Leads

He walked right out of that place, and it felt good to finally go. No more lies from true truth seekers; no more truths he’d never know. He knew life would be much different and that they would never again speak. Getting to know him for who he was was something the clergy would never seek. They only wanted conformity and for him to sign … Continue reading He Who Leads

There…

I used to be able to look deep into the distance and see with great detail, making out the movements of the sunlit leaves as they would gently give in to the breeze’s persuasion. Looking further, I could fix my eyes upon things–perhaps a mile away–and observe the sharpness of the edges. Not long ago, I began to notice the oncoming effects of age setting … Continue reading There…

To Know What’s Not Needed

Constantly confessing to others that you are Christian, and that everything you do is of the Christian way, is a sure way to make you look less Christian. But honestly, what is the Christian way? One man I know will always manage to slide the fact that he goes to church regularly into any conversation, that he reads his Bible, that he listens to sermons, … Continue reading To Know What’s Not Needed

Rebuke

Each day is a new opportunity to quit with the disapproval of myself. I think back to those days when I was the butt of the joke. I had a group of friends who would make me the center of laughs. I allowed it. When we as young teens would get together, smoke pot and drink, the giggles came naturally. We were always high. Everyone … Continue reading Rebuke

Change

Before light, my mother would wake me on school days. After the alarm wouldn’t manage to budge me from my coma, due to the evening of drugs and alcohol the night before, her persistent voice would fill my room. I recall the usual routine of sitting at the sofa with the candy dish that I used as an ashtray, while flicking my ashes from the … Continue reading Change

Backlash

If I had the choice, I’d never do it all over again. Living in the past. Sure, I’ve written about the importance of living in the present numerous times, and I’ve found that it takes a great amount of effort on one’s own part to achieve this way of thinking. Years ago I never would have thought it was even possible. My whole life revolved … Continue reading Backlash