Flypaper

Those coiled, sticky strips that are hung in homes are effective, but they sure are gross! I was an exterminator for a period of time and used to see a lot of people using the eyesores. Growing up my grandma loved to smack them with the swatter. SPLAT! She seemed to enjoy it. Spread the bug guts on surfaces, or watch them slowly die on … Continue reading Flypaper

Binary

I used to see the dark of night as a place to hide my battles. A blanket of comfortable absence for the absent joy. Void of color, visual stimulation and value where solitude made a home. If the rain had fallen, a reflective shimmer would arise, granted light did appear. Black glass on streets of sorrows; deceptive thoughts of promising tomorrows. Hiding in a canopy … Continue reading Binary

For A Day

It is the first day of another year, and it is truly a different energy than any other year thus far. The end of the calendar marks the holidays that bring family out of the personal schedule and into gatherings with family and friends. It was so different this now past year for my family and I, at least through my view of it all. … Continue reading For A Day

A Proper Burial

Something useful was brought to my attention a few days ago. It was a statement made by a man that touched on the fact of everyone eventually dying. I can’t remember the exact words, but I do recall the thoughts I had. The progressive collection of my personal experiences after pondering his words brought me to a place of peace and humbleness, and this morning … Continue reading A Proper Burial

All Is Well

If it weren’t for acceptance, I don’t know what each day would be like? Looking back on an old post this morning had a way of showing me a change in myself. When it comes to the approval of my audience, I find myself not really caring anymore. In the earlier writings, there was a focus that many would find interesting, for the simple fact … Continue reading All Is Well

With So Much

My friend Jeff was a beautiful soul and a kindred spirit. His simplicity towards life was something I admired. Even though I never asked him very detailed questions about why he’d chosen to live his life the way he did, I gathered my own assumptions. That was good enough for me at the time. Jeff was a man I had known since my childhood. I … Continue reading With So Much

Always Dead. Always.

I wonder what it is that convinces one to hang on to pain, even though he or she knows that it isn’t helping matters? It was always different than it is now, before I began to live in the present. How unaware I was—even though I reflected on a pain from the past, I was doing it in the present moment, which is truly the … Continue reading Always Dead. Always.

I Am – A Poem/Meditation by Rupert Spira

I amI have no words to express Myself but all words express only MeI have no meaning but impart meaning to all that is perceivedI am without beginning and end but all things begin and end in MeI have no name but am called by all namesI have no form but all form indicates MeI have no origin but am the origin of all thingsI … Continue reading I Am – A Poem/Meditation by Rupert Spira

In A Time

The Vince Guaraldi Trio version of Christmas Time Is Here once made me shed tears of sorrow when hearing it. I lost my grandfather in December of 2000. He was the man who I looked at as my true father. It was tough watching him slowly wither during that winter. While being sad because of grandmother’s recent passing, as well as watching grandpa suffer from … Continue reading In A Time

Hammer and Nail

Maybe it is safe to say that I’m analytical because of the past? There was always a deep desire to do as daddy instructed: use my own two hands to figure it out. My father was barely engaged in my passions to create things. I believe my friends and I wanted a skateboard ramp when he said, “You have two hands, figure it out.” That … Continue reading Hammer and Nail

Rubbish

Rubbish. That is what the post was last night. The Christian man pissed me off again last night. He is the one who I have been sort of obsessed with. He and I have had our differences over the years, and when I had shared the same religion, we always seemed to have a way of bunting heads. We were both set in our stubborn … Continue reading Rubbish

Firmly Gripped

The experiences of a life gone by have surely made me who and what I am in the present moment. I made a comment on a fellow blogger’s post last night, and now I’m thinking they took it the wrong way. That is what happens in the blogging world. We type out a few words and send them on their way. Very little to study, … Continue reading Firmly Gripped

Sweet Resilience

Hidden inside the box, life was much easier.  In ’97-’98 I was living with my father, but I think I began to notice those things that struck me as odd before moving in. The visits to his dumpy duplex in the middle of a very run-down part of the city always seemed to put me in a peculiar state. Pulling up to the grey and … Continue reading Sweet Resilience

Brass Tacks

The introspection has lessons to teach if we allow it to do so. I’ve been fortunate the last few days, and it is through the pain that I’ve come to a few realizations. My work schedule has been put on hold for five days. While listening to music and spending some time reflecting on the many facets of my life, I’ve concluded a few facts. … Continue reading Brass Tacks

All Of The Noise

The constant stream of “talking” within the head sure has a lot to say. It is truly amazing when one encounters a personal breakthrough that alters the way he or she experiences their world. That has been the case for me this year. A medication has been removed in recent months, and even though I am incredibly thankful for the blessing of having it when … Continue reading All Of The Noise

Rehash

I don’t like some of the truths about myself. There is a whole blog that I created here that looks back on the past; all of the conditioning that created the monster I am. All of those failures and flaws that, in my thirties, caused me to see a god of judgment. The good Lord was a just spirit, or man, or both, and he … Continue reading Rehash

Blind To Isness

The happening of the stars The happening of the blue in the sky we do observe with our optical view The happening of the heart The happening of the mind that scurries about continuously to judge what it will find The happening of an ego The happening of its lie The one that insists one must suffer before he or she must die The happening … Continue reading Blind To Isness

Pardoned

Bitterness was always something that I was accustomed to, but thanks to other bitter people, I’m now realizing why that was. In the recent weeks exchanges with others has tested my patience on several levels. Practicing the pause: a moment of consciously comprehending what is involved within an exchange and not reacting / responding while emotion is welling, has not been easy. However, the constant … Continue reading Pardoned

Your Calm Beneath

In hindsight, the quest for understanding God had really screwed me up. My mother and I had a treacherous conversation the other day. It sometimes ends up being a disaster, and it’s usually my fault. It is difficult for me to listen to a miserable and repetitive cycle of thought patterns that are conveyed in the same series of words nearly every time I meet … Continue reading Your Calm Beneath

Consumption

It was a humbling experience in recent days that had me stepping back in order to reassess a few major factors within myself. The ordered blood tests from my doctor were due before the upcoming visit with her next week. I arrived at the lab early Wednesday and they withdrew the desired amount. I received the test results a few hours later and did not … Continue reading Consumption

A Narrative

The shift in consciousness is revealing many things, but what I have noticed the most is the onset of stories I tell myself throughout the day. I catch myself doing it several times a day: the self-talk that leads me down the fictional paths of imagination. A thought enters my mind, I take off in a habitual manner and form a narrative that is really … Continue reading A Narrative

Unrest

It’s interesting to notice how most of what we call life is only experienced through the senses. I was studying an old photo of my wife’s extended family on the bookshelf today. The men wear the butterfly collars of the era while the women have the typical hair-dos. In the background, an artificial backyard setting of a home–not theirs–provides a quintessential feel for their captured … Continue reading Unrest

True Value

In a recent visit to an old acquaintance’s website, I was again left with thoughts of inferiority and superiority swirling around within me. The religious blog, specifically that which is built around Christian Apologetics, is sometimes a place I visit just to see if the writer is still stroking his own ego. You see, the writer and I once had a go-around which ultimately led … Continue reading True Value

Trustworthiness

I saw the universal truth of every living thing within my recent experiences. There is something outside of my work routine at the place of employment that pulls me into the natural world outdoors. For the last few weeks I have diligently been working on our landscaping. It is satisfying for me to spruce up the flower beds, as well as beneficial when putting out … Continue reading Trustworthiness

No Help Wanted

I find it puzzling to see just how many people are resistant to others helping them in ways that would benefit them. I’ve been doing some work for a family member. There was a time when I thought much like this person. Not being focused on anything other than the past or future was always how I identified myself. You could not tell me that … Continue reading No Help Wanted

Evading or Evolving?

The nook that I write at has been a place of many collective thoughts. Since we moved into our new home at the end of 2018, I set up shop here in our kitchen. The refurbished laptop purchased from eBay has been reliable throughout this writing journey. As I sit alone this morning and think about all of the words I’ve punched out on the … Continue reading Evading or Evolving?

Quiddity

The beginning of a transformative way of observation has been leeching. It is something that has latched onto my thinking mind and is slowly becoming the new normal. I took a long bike ride through the city yesterday evening. The five o’clock hour marked the beginning of a nine day vacation from the employer. It is always a freeing experience to ride for me, as … Continue reading Quiddity

In Between Spaces

There are small gaps in between these words and sentences, much like the spaces in between the thoughts behind them. When I began to write this morning, it occurred to me that my mind has been going through many changes throughout a somewhat short period of time. Several weeks has been an awakening of sorts. I’ve really noticed just how my little mind constantly speaks, … Continue reading In Between Spaces

A Different Shift

Beginning the weekend with a relaxing Saturday morning feels much different than it had in many years prior. The weekends mark a two-day stretch that is of great value after five days of strenuous work. I have a demanding job, both physically and mentally. Sitting at the nook in our kitchen and knowing that the moment holds little more than the quiet hums of the … Continue reading A Different Shift

It Cannot Be Unseen

Drifting off into a memory from the childhood–a simple memory that seems to stick with me throughout the years–took me by surprise Friday evening. I was probably no more than three at the time. It was definitely a clear, sunny day with plenty of lush greenery; spring or summer in the early Eighties. I witnessed a young man with a boombox on his shoulder, with … Continue reading It Cannot Be Unseen

5:16 a.m.

Never before have I felt this way. When the anxiety has left, the nervousness and tension from thinking about the past or future no longer holds me in its firm grip, and when I know that the only true time I have is this very moment, I am truly, “there.” Yes, I’m there. The question used to be asked as I would go about each … Continue reading 5:16 a.m.

Mind Control

A thought late last night entered my tired mind. It was about a person from my past. The thoughts sort of took over, as I dwelled upon what the person and I had gone through, and how the eventual end of our days together sort of hurt us both. This morning, I found myself still thinking about the person, but just a few minutes ago … Continue reading Mind Control

We Think

The UPS man and I had a conversation yesterday about the negative people of the world. There are two individuals of whom we are both acquainted with that absolutely will suck the life from you, if you allow it. He had made a comment to me at one point that I really had trouble accepting. He said that he enjoys talking to me, and that … Continue reading We Think

This Vast Correctional Facility

We seem to have very deep discussions around our fire pit here in Indiana. My father-in-law and I had a discussion last night that briefly touched on how different everyone truly is. Now that I’ve had coffee and more time to think about the little aspects which led to the topic, my morning has been purposely minimal. No social media, no article reading, just silence. … Continue reading This Vast Correctional Facility

Restricts

Today has been a strange one. My family and I had a good evening around the fire in our backyard last night. Our oldest boy, only fifteen, has an understanding of society that is beyond anything my wife or I had known at his age. He and I had a discussion about the control that people have come to accept, and even love. The discussion … Continue reading Restricts

Creative Perspective

Never being one to get too involved in things that distract me from the natural world has been a beautiful way to live life. Isn’t life beautiful? Many would surely disagree. If one were to look at the media, listen to the conditioned voice of fear that is so prominently gripping the way we view ourselves and our worlds, understandably, little beauty would be recognized. … Continue reading Creative Perspective