Of An Appetite Or Desire

I am a hungry dude! I sometimes feel as though I didn’t eat anything even after having a full plate of food. My diet has really changed within the last several years, and my exercise routine has as well. I blame the change in metabolism for my constant hunger. Going from pizza and fried chicken to baked chicken and salads has a way of disappointing, … Continue reading Of An Appetite Or Desire

When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 3)

The introduction to meth was not something that I really enjoyed, but it was the new habit. On top of the everyday pot and cigarette habit, I had to have a little corner of a sandwich baggie filled with chemicals. It was the necessary way to go about the day because not having it meant withdrawal and hard crashes. I would go for days at … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 3)

When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 2)

I had found something that made life more interesting. Every time I smoked, reality became a beautiful, enhanced, calmed, humorous and lovely experience. I needed more of that within my life. The building sadness was starting to consume me more and more as I was spending time within a quiet little trailer with my grieving mother. She was going through her own measures of trouble. … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 2)

When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 1)

High school was the beginning of an absolute nightmare. When I began attending a very large building packed full of young men and women with competitive drive and talent in the early 1990’s, I viewed myself as independent. A bit different from most of those around me. There were so many directions I could go. I was fortunate to attend such an esteemed school. I … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 1)

What I Am Not

The Proverbs of Solomon 1 A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother. 2 Tainted wealth has no lasting value, but right living can save your life. 3 The Lord will not let the godly go hungry, but he refuses to satisfy the craving of the wicked. 4 Lazy people are soon poor; hard workers get rich. … Continue reading What I Am Not

Silently Watching

I had to take a break from myself today. The past day has been a much-needed break from the emotional havoc that I’ve been so attached to lately. The attachment to things: uneasiness, tension, stress, anxiety, anger and so on. All of those things that my personal convictions have allowed me to handle with a bit more attentiveness, made possible with the willingness to seek … Continue reading Silently Watching