Knowing The Difference
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Category: illness
Diary Entry
I woke up. It was enough for me this morning to just be grateful for waking. Taken for granted, most days. Yesterday had its own worries and blessings, and I am assured today will be the same. She has a new diagnosis. She read about the devastating effects the shit could very well have on her. At worst, fatal. Watching her lock herself in the … Continue reading Diary Entry
Take THIS Away…
Discipline — it’s sometimes impossible. “But, with God, all things are possible!” I can hear it now. Someone is saying it as they read my opening sentence. And, I’m not disagreeing. There are many things in the life of all of us that we — with all of the discipline we can try to marshal — absolutely cannot put down. What’s yours? My wife has … Continue reading Take THIS Away…
The Foundering
Your said that to yourself yesterday, did you not? That truth that is, again, the lie? You’d promised yourself, and God, that you would not break, but your chance to prove it passed by. You said to yourself it would all end. Repentance is what you labeled your aim. But look at you — back it the same boat. The same sinful act and shame. … Continue reading The Foundering
The Abuser
He beats the weakened man who cries to himself, when alone. He pushes him into the open where stones are thrown. He calls the man a failure, and reminds him of his shame. He reminds him of should haves and could haves, and those bad choices that fuel pain. This man is relentlessly pushing the man to fear and doubt, but the ridicule and slander … Continue reading The Abuser
Nothing Left
The boy of the past who lived in a home where comforts were seldom and while left alone he’d cry for his mother who stayed out all night after her shift she’d head for the light of houses tucked away in the cities and towns to smoke up her poison and then run around a little bit longer to hit up the bars laughing and … Continue reading Nothing Left
Coddling
Hold onto that thing that you think that you must have Be passionate about the grip on the things that you will grab Hold tightly to the wreckage and the tricks of the mind Don’t look for the ways out or solutions you may find Get comfortable in your madness Stay there in your excuse Be the one in the shelter of self-pity and abuse … Continue reading Coddling
In The Face Of Fear
Why do some heal while others never learn? Why do some desire change while others ignore concern? Is it a lack of confidence or a comfort they enjoy? Do they happily welcome the sadness that will ultimately destroy? How long must one go on before change becomes a need? Is fear the underlying issue that takes a willing lead? Do they say, “Go ahead… I’m … Continue reading In The Face Of Fear
What Do You Think About?
The Lord created our brains, and this life destroys it. Here’s a little bit of knowledge to help with understanding the complicated mind. https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/bad-thoughts Continue reading What Do You Think About?
Superficial
What kind of love is defined as you go about your days? Do you view love as an emotion that slowly fades away? Do you find love in your nights as you hit the bar in town searching for perfect face and body– one night–to comfort the daily frown? Is love found in the food: pizza, burgers and fries? Do you like what … Continue reading Superficial
Mental Suicide
Those thoughts which bring us down; the things that we tend to dwell on that leave us in a state of devastation. These types of thoughts are so incredibly familiar to me. Throughout my life, I’ve had so much negative influence, so many different pulls and pushes that have left me curled up into a ball, balling like a baby, a ton of self-induced affliction … Continue reading Mental Suicide
The Thought Leads
As a man thinks, so is he. I heard this many years ago, far before learning of its context, and I am not, in any way, saying or using this to promote the power of attraction. I am not using this in the context as the Proverb does. It’s just a statement, relative to what I am writing this morning. There has been so many … Continue reading The Thought Leads
Sorry, My Bad
I had a really bad day yesterday. It was one of the worst days I’ve had in many weeks. I spent the day in my house doing a few things that I thought would bring me some kind of happiness, and for a few minutes during the tasks I suppose they did, but it was short-lived. I have been aching for many months over things … Continue reading Sorry, My Bad
As The Birds Sing…
Waking to see each new day in the current years has so much more value than it had in years before. The focus of the value of waking has been amplified because of the death that has been surrounding me lately. First, it was the huge fallout with my mother that left me with a ‘dead’ feeling, followed by the physical death of my father. … Continue reading As The Birds Sing…
We Cry Out
I have a dog that is dying. He is losing weight rapidly, will not eat and only drinks occasionally. His medications aren’t working. Last night, he cried for hours. A hard fall off of our outdoor steps left him with an injured spine several weeks ago, and now his whole body is deteriorating. The doctor does not know what to do at this point. Blood … Continue reading We Cry Out
