A Sound of Silence

The memory of a large Conch shell that used to lay upon the floor at my grandparent’s home was the spark to the flame of wistful homesickness. I had the piercing longing come over me as I noticed an image of a similar shell within the newsfeed during my morning routine in front of this laptop screen. The waking mind is open to wavering mentation, … Continue reading A Sound of Silence

Yeah…

At 2:59 a.m., I sit a type out the truth of my life. It is not of any use to anyone but me, but being able to do so helps. I’m tired. My back has been hurting for the last eighteen or so hours and I am up way too early. I have to work all day and, to be honest, I would call in … Continue reading Yeah…

Considered

Perspective is so distorted by an individual’s fear, I am finding. For a great majority of my own life, fear played a huge part. It was always there. It had its say no matter what aspect or time period of my youth had manifested. These times are remembered with great vividness. Fortunately, there is a contrast now that looks nothing like those old days. I … Continue reading Considered

Creative Perspective

Never being one to get too involved in things that distract me from the natural world has been a beautiful way to live life. Isn’t life beautiful? Many would surely disagree. If one were to look at the media, listen to the conditioned voice of fear that is so prominently gripping the way we view ourselves and our worlds, understandably, little beauty would be recognized. … Continue reading Creative Perspective

Every Degree

Noticing the pride we all share had me thinking about the degrees in which it affects us, both personally and as a whole. After reading a few words from another blogger, I took some time to clear my mind. Thoughts of the varying degrees of one’s personal value of self, both inwardly and outwardly, and with both negative and positive connotation, provided necessity to have … Continue reading Every Degree

The World Isn’t Kind

If it were up to me, I would keep my mind shut off from the constant battle between…good and evil? I really cannot say what has transpired in recent weeks, but there is a residual feeling of uneasiness that has been hanging over my head. Sometimes it is difficult to say with certainty that it is an attack of the supernatural (i.e. Devil), but something … Continue reading The World Isn’t Kind

Beatdown

The following is a personal testimony. This testimony is intentionally being placed within categories that Christians frequently post, with the intent of many of them realizing how I personally view many of the writings found within. I will start by saying that I will be direct and blunt within my testimony. Honesty is the best policy. With that, I will not be pointing fingers directly … Continue reading Beatdown

Tidings

It’s not difficult to look around and take this life of mine for granted. I sit this morning in an easy chair and observe all these accumulated objects that fulfill some kind of undefined necessity. It has me thinking about the days when things were much different. Throughout the many years, things have come and gone. Objects, people, places and thoughts. Even typing, I look … Continue reading Tidings

Why I Do Not Write

It has been a few years now… A blog was suggested by a friend on a social media site. I was continuously posting my thoughts–mainly of my new-found relationship with Jesus–on the feed that everyone had access to. My beliefs were firm and assertive, and the way I wrote each post was somewhat controversial. After all, there were many whom did not possess a belief … Continue reading Why I Do Not Write

Saunter

By Susan Hand Shetterly Henry David Thoreau’s great essay “Walking” was published in The Atlantic Monthly in 1862. He defined his manner of walking as sauntering. I used to walk, and that seemed fine to me. Now, under his guidance, I’m teaching myself to saunter. What’s the difference? When I walked, I concentrated on pace, on getting somewhere. I’d go over what I had to … Continue reading Saunter

Moving Day

I’ve been spending time of mornings away from the writing here at WordPress. Writing is just not as useful to me as it once had been. When I started this blog, I had a goal: share my personal testimony, with the hope of others seeing the glory of God through Jesus Christ within those accounts of my life. My road has had many ups and … Continue reading Moving Day

For ‘Good’ Reason

Simply put, in my personal perspective, some people are bored as hell. I don’t know why I drift towards reading the posts of a man whom I no longer follow, but I do. I guess it is because of his need to destroy the world with his judgment? I really can’t stand to see a mere man pointing the finger at everyone while thinking that … Continue reading For ‘Good’ Reason

Bad News And Blunder

The past few days have been comical. Although some of the content of my recent days has not been anything to laugh at, the unbelievable works of people involved in that content has me shaking my head. I have (very lightly) been following the political banter and I am amazed of just how ridiculous a fly on someone’s head has become. The, not even funny … Continue reading Bad News And Blunder

It All

Wouldn’t it be nice to remove it all? To take all of the pure filth we are exposed to each day and throw it away? To recognize the dumb stuff we do to fit in to a society of competition and comparison– now so, more than ever, with all of the social media and misinformation– and see that we are really only competing with ourselves? … Continue reading It All

Spaces

I stood in the backyard this morning and admired it all. The weather was cool, and the sun hadn’t yet breached the eastern face of the treeline. I took my advantage. The breeze had a few things to say. I peeked through azure, and the moon was saying its last goodbye. The Cockscomb were visited by a flying fleet. The Pine was silently at play. … Continue reading Spaces

Bad Medicine

Writing is not as therapeutic as it once was. I believe, in many ways, writing is an excellent way to process emotions. Unfortunately, my emotions have had a lot of control (probably due to the fact of being bipolar to a certain degree). I’m beginning to recognize how writing, while dwelling on the topics I choose to write about, more often than not cause me … Continue reading Bad Medicine

Obscured Observance

People need content. They need something to think about. Less than a week ago I had decided to stop blogging for an unknown period of time. The things that I was allowing into my life, via posts I had been reading, were causing me to get very irritated. During my temporary hiatus, I have noticed that more people are actually following my blog. Well, they … Continue reading Obscured Observance

Something To Do

It is intriguing for me to observe the interests of others and to wonder why they do what they do. It’s also important. Being a deep thinker is hereditary, I’m finding. As I grow older, I’m beginning to see just how much of my father is really in here. He would study people (not in a creepy stalking manner, FYI), observing their words, facial expressions … Continue reading Something To Do

We’re All Going To Die!

The real killer is not COVID-19, it is fear. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, fear is the driving force the world thrives upon. I cannot go anywhere or read anything without recognizing it. Usually, the fear turns into some other form of emotion, such as hate. I read a post from a woman last night on Facebook that had me boiling. She, … Continue reading We’re All Going To Die!

Again…

The morning opened with a familiar sin. Crawling out of bed was quickly greeted by the weak and tired mind being obscured by a sin that I continuously struggle with. It’s not surprising. I know full well just how bad the particular vice I struggle with is, yet I sometimes give in to its tempting pull. It’s no excuse, I know. If we are called … Continue reading Again…

Yet Separated

I lookout into a stretch of lot. The stones lie beside one another. Connected by the adherence of composition; a substance of cooperation. Unlike the lot of stability, I saw the people parked and traveling upon it: nothing like this lot of cooperation. Not bonded together to make one. Not at all like its stability. It’s interesting how the same elements we share with the … Continue reading Yet Separated

King Of Pain

The past few days have brought me a few realizations that had not been completely embraced, until now. Spending a good amount of time alone is something I’ve learned to deal with. For the past three days, I have been taking a break from work. As my wife has been working third shift and sleeping the majority of the rest of the time, and as … Continue reading King Of Pain

Now

So much sadness fills the hearts of people. No time for the fruits of His Spirit. You know, love, joy, peace, and so on. The opposing is rather forceful, it seems. The demons we possess–both past, present, and anticipated future–contaminate the light, pulling us into those places that no longer exist… Just in our heads. The heart aligns with those places. The opposing is familiar. … Continue reading Now

God Is With You, So Move On

When my dad was in his fifties, he began a change. These ways were limited to my view, as I was just beginning to visit him again after a three year hiatus. He was no longer a part of the family in any way, as he had separated from my mother and I perpetually. It was not until he and I reunited that I noticed … Continue reading God Is With You, So Move On

Missing Text

Are we all on the same page? It’s obviously a silly question, as no two people are alike. I have been home today and sleeping soundly. Heading to work this morning, I began to feel like my body was weighted down by a crippling heaviness, and it was not being relieved with ample amounts of coffee. After arriving at my job and pushing through for … Continue reading Missing Text

Bitching:

There’s really no other word for it. A woman in front of me is sticking her neck out and complaining to a stranger about her new car having a defect of some sort, as the man behind me is cussing his way through complaining about the line we are all standing in. We are at the BMV. There are a number of people—over twenty of … Continue reading Bitching:

There…

I used to be able to look deep into the distance and see with great detail, making out the movements of the sunlit leaves as they would gently give in to the breeze’s persuasion. Looking further, I could fix my eyes upon things–perhaps a mile away–and observe the sharpness of the edges. Not long ago, I began to notice the oncoming effects of age setting … Continue reading There…

Change

Before light, my mother would wake me on school days. After the alarm wouldn’t manage to budge me from my coma, due to the evening of drugs and alcohol the night before, her persistent voice would fill my room. I recall the usual routine of sitting at the sofa with the candy dish that I used as an ashtray, while flicking my ashes from the … Continue reading Change

The Calamities In You

I don’t read what most have to say. Yesterday was a beautiful morning. There is a certain long stretch of road surrounded by the landscape of trees that I especially enjoy in the early morning, as the sun’s rays display nicely there. I have been taking the road for the last few months on my commute to work. It’s a peaceful beginning to the inevitable … Continue reading The Calamities In You

Backlash

If I had the choice, I’d never do it all over again. Living in the past. Sure, I’ve written about the importance of living in the present numerous times, and I’ve found that it takes a great amount of effort on one’s own part to achieve this way of thinking. Years ago I never would have thought it was even possible. My whole life revolved … Continue reading Backlash

Outside Of The Box Is Love

How sweet of them, to leave such valuable donations. Soiled, pizzle-stained mattress; sofa in part Vomit for the next baby to securely be seated in. How wonderful! A pillow with louse! The hearts of the generous–giving their trash for a good cause, and leaving the next heart broken. Continue reading Outside Of The Box Is Love

While Things Come And Go

Your needs–are they becoming? Is anything outside of your desire to be right a need, you self-righteous pig?! The man in the mirror, mirroring the scar. Those things of yesterday–of hours, no longer relevant–still destroying you and everything/everyone around you. Becoming.     Scapegoat! Filthy animal! You should have killed them while you had the chance! You could be living with the guilt… Oh wait, … Continue reading While Things Come And Go

In Unison

In my world, a calm approach is sometimes the wrong approach. I was thankful Wednesday for the humbling sting of events prior to my car breaking down. It sometimes seems like when it rains it pours, as the saying goes. Several setbacks were a subtle setup for Wednesday morning’s much needed walk in the fresh air. Before heading into work, I took a stroll around … Continue reading In Unison

Into The Day, And Night

Writing is a great outlet for my true identity. It took me a very, very long time to reach this current place of contentment, and I thank the ways of the past for getting me here–the nasty, destructive, dark and disastrous. Without the overcast, I never would have been able to find the glorious light outside of its thievery. Since writing and displaying my transparencies, … Continue reading Into The Day, And Night

Revisiting

An old writing of mine, revisited.   Collected Fragments Of My Time– August, 2018 The memories of my grandfather and his work shed. There was an addition off to the side of a one car garage that was made into his work area. The small space was a place where he frequently spent his time. As a young boy, I would venture out to watch … Continue reading Revisiting

Volatility

People bumping off of people never real time for themselves Thoughts consumed with what the other thinks defined by someone else     Competition in their nature a little more than the rest A thought to decide for themselves shot down by the next They go on believing they’ve won the race to find another mile around the bend Running ahead of the next to … Continue reading Volatility

Fell Off The Wagon…Again

I’ve been practicing an old habit in recent weeks. Habits. They form. After trying something initially, and unknown desire drives our diversely-structured brains to feed upon it. To continue. Some of them are beneficial, while others are not so good. In my particular case, a habit that I once held closely with a firm grip, slowly reared its destructive head within the last few weeks. … Continue reading Fell Off The Wagon…Again

Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 2 of 2)

When I say, “heart,” I suppose I mean the inner being of myself. The soul–the thing that is driving this flabby, muscly, bony body. The magic that keeps me alive, if you will. Truly, the whole God thing really tugged at me, causing great mental and physical distress. The whole experience became an obsession. I had to figure this stuff out. The thing is, I … Continue reading Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 2 of 2)

Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 1 of 2)

Before the world of a young child is illuminated by its own imagination, wonder, and all of the other blessings the new brings, the child usually has the opportunity to learn some basic fundamentals. Whether it be from a parent or guardian, most children will learn to crawl before walking under a watchful eye. As a little tyke begins to take interest, the mind unfolds … Continue reading Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 1 of 2)

Observing

How other people view us, really, isn’t relevant. It seems as though the last several years have brought a focus that wasn’t as prominent as it had been in years past. Popularity of social media, the lax commutations we have adapted, such as texting, tweeting and so on (anything one can identify as means), has really changed society in negative ways. With it all, a … Continue reading Observing

Beneath

The trees– greater than ourselves. Towering above us all, concerned with no one else. They take what they like– the sun and the moon. Hiding beauty of the heavens. Reaching deep into their room. Greedy is their nature. Robbing lesser one. Laughing at the weaker. Having all the fun.     The bird of grace and diligence took away the pride of the thundering tower … Continue reading Beneath

Where Darkness Lies

“I don’t understand the darkness” is a statement someone had made regarding my chosen style of writing. Throughout the past few years on WordPress, I have poured myself out through text. As a helpful tool I had used while evaluating my personal cognitive complexity, writing later evolved into a passion. I began to write of experiences, thoughts, my walk with God, as well as poems … Continue reading Where Darkness Lies

Ethic

Willingness to adhere to one’s own “norm” can sometimes lead to big trouble. I must say, the last few years have been a challenge within my personal life. In many aspects, I have learned to change. These aren’t subtle changes, as they had been a huge part of who I was as a person. As I share, keep in mind that these specific changes have … Continue reading Ethic

The Voice He Hears (Part 19)

The warmth comforted his vexation. He stood within the stall until the water ran cold. The day was a waste. He decided to move out to the back patio with the hope of grooming his anxieties with nature and fresh air. Mindfulness was a coping mechanism he’d learned about many years earlier. Stepping outside, inhaling simplicity–the smell of flowers nearby. The sounds from the birds … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 19)

The Voice He Hears (Part 18)

“Michael, do yo..” “NOT, NOW, MOM!” She pulled her head back away from the stairwell and stomped through the kitchen. He could hear her murmur coming from different ends of the house as she moved about. “Love you!” He then heard the door slam. As he listened to the car speeding away, he let out a long sigh. Nothing was real. He couldn’t come back … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 18)

The Voice He Hears (Part 17)

He compared. He compared the feelings he had towards his father to the ones he was now embracing. He lied in his sorrows with his young father in mind–the hell he lived. The magnitude of the devastation. Apprehensive, he rose. Mike had a seat on the end of the sofa. He was crazed. The dreams, the messengers, the messages–all of it was too much. He … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 17)

The Voice He Hears (Part 16)

The angel began to speak into Mike. He could hear the being, without words. Without a necessity to understand. It was showing Mike the small frames of his father’s life. The past; a young boy in an environment of desecration. The vision of his father being beaten and molested by a woman he called his mom. While her husband was away fighting a war, he … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 16)

The Voice He Hears (Part 15)

Michael, maybe ten, was in the street playing with a childhood friend. Anna was the blond with the sky blue eyes. He remembered well. They were the eyes that saw what his father would do to him, when she found them one summer day inside the dugout. It never left Mike’s memory. The recurring dream of the event would come to him throughout his years. … Continue reading The Voice He Hears (Part 15)