Pardoned

Bitterness was always something that I was accustomed to, but thanks to other bitter people, I’m now realizing why that was. In the recent weeks exchanges with others has tested my patience on several levels. Practicing the pause: a moment of consciously comprehending what is involved within an exchange and not reacting / responding while emotion is welling, has not been easy. However, the constant … Continue reading Pardoned

Your Calm Beneath

In hindsight, the quest for understanding God had really screwed me up. My mother and I had a treacherous conversation the other day. It sometimes ends up being a disaster, and it’s usually my fault. It is difficult for me to listen to a miserable and repetitive cycle of thought patterns that are conveyed in the same series of words nearly every time I meet … Continue reading Your Calm Beneath

A Giant Misconception?

It was always a pleasure as we would kick around in nature when my friends and I were growing up. The neighborhood kids and I had the entire world to explore, tucked away in a little one-mile radius of the city. We had a place called the Brickyards, which was a clay quarry. In the old excavated parts, a lake, cliffs, deciduous trees and overgrowth … Continue reading A Giant Misconception?

Blog That Ego

Who am I to draw attention to a narrative I call, “Mine?” An emphasis I present for someone else to compare to and compete with… A voice within, dying to speak louder and longer than… Maybe a 👍 to stroke the ego! Perhaps an agreement to boost the confidence! Am I the golden one with finger outstretched, pointing proudly, while the three of no blame … Continue reading Blog That Ego

Is The Boy, “Saved?”

Identification seems to be instilled from a young age. At the time of receiving a given name and understanding that we are to be addressed as that name moving forward, we identify ourselves with a title. It was a another long hot week here in the Ohio Valley. Rains late within the week brought cooler temperatures and people out of their air-conditioned places yesterday evening. … Continue reading Is The Boy, “Saved?”

Undone

My mother had told me a few days ago that my peace is due to the circumstances at the current point in my life. She is on the verge of finalizing her divorce. Her and I were having a conversation about the joys of life and how to recognize them in the moments of pain we all encounter in this life. As she was listening … Continue reading Undone

A Narrative

The shift in consciousness is revealing many things, but what I have noticed the most is the onset of stories I tell myself throughout the day. I catch myself doing it several times a day: the self-talk that leads me down the fictional paths of imagination. A thought enters my mind, I take off in a habitual manner and form a narrative that is really … Continue reading A Narrative

Narrow Is The Path

Being enthusiastic about a different way of thinking is good for me, but man, it is not good for others it seems. I’ve tried to introduce the teachings of Eckhart Tolle to a few individuals in recent weeks. In very subtle ways, I’ve done my best to suggest that a few simple practices he has taught me are a sure way to begin a process … Continue reading Narrow Is The Path

The Enigma Of Being Comfortably Uncertain

There was a truth that presented itself this afternoon on my way home from the workplace. Maybe it was more of a collection of truths? As any reader could probably gather when visiting the blog and especially the last several posts, my focus has shifted to the acknowledgment of just how much I identify myself with mind: the voice that never stops chattering within me. … Continue reading The Enigma Of Being Comfortably Uncertain

True Value

In a recent visit to an old acquaintance’s website, I was again left with thoughts of inferiority and superiority swirling around within me. The religious blog, specifically that which is built around Christian Apologetics, is sometimes a place I visit just to see if the writer is still stroking his own ego. You see, the writer and I once had a go-around which ultimately led … Continue reading True Value

Trustworthiness

I saw the universal truth of every living thing within my recent experiences. There is something outside of my work routine at the place of employment that pulls me into the natural world outdoors. For the last few weeks I have diligently been working on our landscaping. It is satisfying for me to spruce up the flower beds, as well as beneficial when putting out … Continue reading Trustworthiness

My Personal Observed Digest

Life is actually designed to challenge us; to work against us. It is not designed to work with us. We experience a bad situation (financial, relational, etc.), resolve or overcome it, and another one soon arises. When we expect life to work in our favor we experience pain and unhappiness. It’s a delusion to think that the world will do good for us if we … Continue reading My Personal Observed Digest

Rising

My grandmother and I used to watch a television show called Nature on PBS when I was growing up. A narrator would talk about the animals and ecosystems from around the world, while the cinematic visual stimulations would leave my grandmother and I in awe. “God made that,” I remember her saying. While we focused our attention on the animals or plants being described, we … Continue reading Rising

As It Is

Observation is a beautiful tool that I have been using as far back as I can remember. The world was so awesome when I was a child. I remember spending much of my time alone while exploring the safe neighborhood on the outskirts of the city. My grandparent’s home was on a street serving in part of the framing of a friendly community. All neighbors … Continue reading As It Is

Evading or Evolving?

The nook that I write at has been a place of many collective thoughts. Since we moved into our new home at the end of 2018, I set up shop here in our kitchen. The refurbished laptop purchased from eBay has been reliable throughout this writing journey. As I sit alone this morning and think about all of the words I’ve punched out on the … Continue reading Evading or Evolving?

Quiddity

The beginning of a transformative way of observation has been leeching. It is something that has latched onto my thinking mind and is slowly becoming the new normal. I took a long bike ride through the city yesterday evening. The five o’clock hour marked the beginning of a nine day vacation from the employer. It is always a freeing experience to ride for me, as … Continue reading Quiddity

In Between Spaces

There are small gaps in between these words and sentences, much like the spaces in between the thoughts behind them. When I began to write this morning, it occurred to me that my mind has been going through many changes throughout a somewhat short period of time. Several weeks has been an awakening of sorts. I’ve really noticed just how my little mind constantly speaks, … Continue reading In Between Spaces

A Different Shift

Beginning the weekend with a relaxing Saturday morning feels much different than it had in many years prior. The weekends mark a two-day stretch that is of great value after five days of strenuous work. I have a demanding job, both physically and mentally. Sitting at the nook in our kitchen and knowing that the moment holds little more than the quiet hums of the … Continue reading A Different Shift

Mind Control

A thought late last night entered my tired mind. It was about a person from my past. The thoughts sort of took over, as I dwelled upon what the person and I had gone through, and how the eventual end of our days together sort of hurt us both. This morning, I found myself still thinking about the person, but just a few minutes ago … Continue reading Mind Control

This Vast Correctional Facility

We seem to have very deep discussions around our fire pit here in Indiana. My father-in-law and I had a discussion last night that briefly touched on how different everyone truly is. Now that I’ve had coffee and more time to think about the little aspects which led to the topic, my morning has been purposely minimal. No social media, no article reading, just silence. … Continue reading This Vast Correctional Facility

Gaining My True Joy, In Steps

Everything is, for most of us, perceived (in a conceptual view) through the filter of mental emotional conditioning of the past. In turn, it is how we identify ourselves and the world in which we live. This results in only being aware of the object consciousness, and not the space consciousness… The silence between thoughts, or space consciousness, is what I’m learning about. Continue reading Gaining My True Joy, In Steps

Sad Eyes

I sometimes search for names of old acquaintances on the Internet, just to see what may pop up. Last night, I had thought of an old co-worker and his very unique humor. He always wore these ridiculous green pants to work. We were in our teens and working the restaurant in the 90’s. I found that he went on to earn his PhD, while I … Continue reading Sad Eyes

Lesson

So many times throughout these last few weeks, I’ve found myself having to take control of the wandering thoughts. These thoughts, which in turn lead to the emotions that have absolutely ruined my life in years passed, have been making their way in. It’s mysterious: the thoughts that I know that I don’t need have a way of inching into my efforts of keeping them … Continue reading Lesson

Eyes To See

The only thing I knew at the time was the fact that my soul was in need. The beginning of the past week was like most of the previous ones. A new work week had me longing for the weekend well before noon on Monday. I was prepared for what the beautiful forecast on Saturday would deliver. Yesterday morning, I packed up a few things—not … Continue reading Eyes To See

A Sound of Silence

The memory of a large Conch shell that used to lay upon the floor at my grandparent’s home was the spark to the flame of wistful homesickness. I had the piercing longing come over me as I noticed an image of a similar shell within the newsfeed during my morning routine in front of this laptop screen. The waking mind is open to wavering mentation, … Continue reading A Sound of Silence

Yeah…

At 2:59 a.m., I sit a type out the truth of my life. It is not of any use to anyone but me, but being able to do so helps. I’m tired. My back has been hurting for the last eighteen or so hours and I am up way too early. I have to work all day and, to be honest, I would call in … Continue reading Yeah…

Considered

Perspective is so distorted by an individual’s fear, I am finding. For a great majority of my own life, fear played a huge part. It was always there. It had its say no matter what aspect or time period of my youth had manifested. These times are remembered with great vividness. Fortunately, there is a contrast now that looks nothing like those old days. I … Continue reading Considered

Creative Perspective

Never being one to get too involved in things that distract me from the natural world has been a beautiful way to live life. Isn’t life beautiful? Many would surely disagree. If one were to look at the media, listen to the conditioned voice of fear that is so prominently gripping the way we view ourselves and our worlds, understandably, little beauty would be recognized. … Continue reading Creative Perspective

Every Degree

Noticing the pride we all share had me thinking about the degrees in which it affects us, both personally and as a whole. After reading a few words from another blogger, I took some time to clear my mind. Thoughts of the varying degrees of one’s personal value of self, both inwardly and outwardly, and with both negative and positive connotation, provided necessity to have … Continue reading Every Degree