Mind Control

A thought late last night entered my tired mind. It was about a person from my past. The thoughts sort of took over, as I dwelled upon what the person and I had gone through, and how the eventual end of our days together sort of hurt us both. This morning, I found myself still thinking about the person, but just a few minutes ago … Continue reading Mind Control

This Vast Correctional Facility

We seem to have very deep discussions around our fire pit here in Indiana. My father-in-law and I had a discussion last night that briefly touched on how different everyone truly is. Now that I’ve had coffee and more time to think about the little aspects which led to the topic, my morning has been purposely minimal. No social media, no article reading, just silence. … Continue reading This Vast Correctional Facility

Gaining My True Joy, In Steps

Everything is, for most of us, perceived (in a conceptual view) through the filter of mental emotional conditioning of the past. In turn, it is how we identify ourselves and the world in which we live. This results in only being aware of the object consciousness, and not the space consciousness… The silence between thoughts, or space consciousness, is what I’m learning about. Continue reading Gaining My True Joy, In Steps

Sad Eyes

I sometimes search for names of old acquaintances on the Internet, just to see what may pop up. Last night, I had thought of an old co-worker and his very unique humor. He always wore these ridiculous green pants to work. We were in our teens and working the restaurant in the 90’s. I found that he went on to earn his PhD, while I … Continue reading Sad Eyes

Lesson

So many times throughout these last few weeks, I’ve found myself having to take control of the wandering thoughts. These thoughts, which in turn lead to the emotions that have absolutely ruined my life in years passed, have been making their way in. It’s mysterious: the thoughts that I know that I don’t need have a way of inching into my efforts of keeping them … Continue reading Lesson

Eyes To See

The only thing I knew at the time was the fact that my soul was in need. The beginning of the past week was like most of the previous ones. A new work week had me longing for the weekend well before noon on Monday. I was prepared for what the beautiful forecast on Saturday would deliver. Yesterday morning, I packed up a few things—not … Continue reading Eyes To See

A Sound of Silence

The memory of a large Conch shell that used to lay upon the floor at my grandparent’s home was the spark to the flame of wistful homesickness. I had the piercing longing come over me as I noticed an image of a similar shell within the newsfeed during my morning routine in front of this laptop screen. The waking mind is open to wavering mentation, … Continue reading A Sound of Silence

Yeah…

At 2:59 a.m., I sit a type out the truth of my life. It is not of any use to anyone but me, but being able to do so helps. I’m tired. My back has been hurting for the last eighteen or so hours and I am up way too early. I have to work all day and, to be honest, I would call in … Continue reading Yeah…

Considered

Perspective is so distorted by an individual’s fear, I am finding. For a great majority of my own life, fear played a huge part. It was always there. It had its say no matter what aspect or time period of my youth had manifested. These times are remembered with great vividness. Fortunately, there is a contrast now that looks nothing like those old days. I … Continue reading Considered

Creative Perspective

Never being one to get too involved in things that distract me from the natural world has been a beautiful way to live life. Isn’t life beautiful? Many would surely disagree. If one were to look at the media, listen to the conditioned voice of fear that is so prominently gripping the way we view ourselves and our worlds, understandably, little beauty would be recognized. … Continue reading Creative Perspective

Every Degree

Noticing the pride we all share had me thinking about the degrees in which it affects us, both personally and as a whole. After reading a few words from another blogger, I took some time to clear my mind. Thoughts of the varying degrees of one’s personal value of self, both inwardly and outwardly, and with both negative and positive connotation, provided necessity to have … Continue reading Every Degree

The World Isn’t Kind

If it were up to me, I would keep my mind shut off from the constant battle between…good and evil? I really cannot say what has transpired in recent weeks, but there is a residual feeling of uneasiness that has been hanging over my head. Sometimes it is difficult to say with certainty that it is an attack of the supernatural (i.e. Devil), but something … Continue reading The World Isn’t Kind

Beatdown

The following is a personal testimony. This testimony is intentionally being placed within categories that Christians frequently post, with the intent of many of them realizing how I personally view many of the writings found within. I will start by saying that I will be direct and blunt within my testimony. Honesty is the best policy. With that, I will not be pointing fingers directly … Continue reading Beatdown

Tidings

It’s not difficult to look around and take this life of mine for granted. I sit this morning in an easy chair and observe all these accumulated objects that fulfill some kind of undefined necessity. It has me thinking about the days when things were much different. Throughout the many years, things have come and gone. Objects, people, places and thoughts. Even typing, I look … Continue reading Tidings

Why I Do Not Write

It has been a few years now… A blog was suggested by a friend on a social media site. I was continuously posting my thoughts–mainly of my new-found relationship with Jesus–on the feed that everyone had access to. My beliefs were firm and assertive, and the way I wrote each post was somewhat controversial. After all, there were many whom did not possess a belief … Continue reading Why I Do Not Write

Saunter

By Susan Hand Shetterly Henry David Thoreau’s great essay “Walking” was published in The Atlantic Monthly in 1862. He defined his manner of walking as sauntering. I used to walk, and that seemed fine to me. Now, under his guidance, I’m teaching myself to saunter. What’s the difference? When I walked, I concentrated on pace, on getting somewhere. I’d go over what I had to … Continue reading Saunter

Moving Day

I’ve been spending time of mornings away from the writing here at WordPress. Writing is just not as useful to me as it once had been. When I started this blog, I had a goal: share my personal testimony, with the hope of others seeing the glory of God through Jesus Christ within those accounts of my life. My road has had many ups and … Continue reading Moving Day

For ‘Good’ Reason

Simply put, in my personal perspective, some people are bored as hell. I don’t know why I drift towards reading the posts of a man whom I no longer follow, but I do. I guess it is because of his need to destroy the world with his judgment? I really can’t stand to see a mere man pointing the finger at everyone while thinking that … Continue reading For ‘Good’ Reason

Bad News And Blunder

The past few days have been comical. Although some of the content of my recent days has not been anything to laugh at, the unbelievable works of people involved in that content has me shaking my head. I have (very lightly) been following the political banter and I am amazed of just how ridiculous a fly on someone’s head has become. The, not even funny … Continue reading Bad News And Blunder

It All

Wouldn’t it be nice to remove it all? To take all of the pure filth we are exposed to each day and throw it away? To recognize the dumb stuff we do to fit in to a society of competition and comparison– now so, more than ever, with all of the social media and misinformation– and see that we are really only competing with ourselves? … Continue reading It All

Spaces

I stood in the backyard this morning and admired it all. The weather was cool, and the sun hadn’t yet breached the eastern face of the treeline. I took my advantage. The breeze had a few things to say. I peeked through azure, and the moon was saying its last goodbye. The Cockscomb were visited by a flying fleet. The Pine was silently at play. … Continue reading Spaces

Bad Medicine

Writing is not as therapeutic as it once was. I believe, in many ways, writing is an excellent way to process emotions. Unfortunately, my emotions have had a lot of control (probably due to the fact of being bipolar to a certain degree). I’m beginning to recognize how writing, while dwelling on the topics I choose to write about, more often than not cause me … Continue reading Bad Medicine

Obscured Observance

People need content. They need something to think about. Less than a week ago I had decided to stop blogging for an unknown period of time. The things that I was allowing into my life, via posts I had been reading, were causing me to get very irritated. During my temporary hiatus, I have noticed that more people are actually following my blog. Well, they … Continue reading Obscured Observance

Something To Do

It is intriguing for me to observe the interests of others and to wonder why they do what they do. It’s also important. Being a deep thinker is hereditary, I’m finding. As I grow older, I’m beginning to see just how much of my father is really in here. He would study people (not in a creepy stalking manner, FYI), observing their words, facial expressions … Continue reading Something To Do

We’re All Going To Die!

The real killer is not COVID-19, it is fear. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, fear is the driving force the world thrives upon. I cannot go anywhere or read anything without recognizing it. Usually, the fear turns into some other form of emotion, such as hate. I read a post from a woman last night on Facebook that had me boiling. She, … Continue reading We’re All Going To Die!

Again…

The morning opened with a familiar sin. Crawling out of bed was quickly greeted by the weak and tired mind being obscured by a sin that I continuously struggle with. It’s not surprising. I know full well just how bad the particular vice I struggle with is, yet I sometimes give in to its tempting pull. It’s no excuse, I know. If we are called … Continue reading Again…

Yet Separated

I lookout into a stretch of lot. The stones lie beside one another. Connected by the adherence of composition; a substance of cooperation. Unlike the lot of stability, I saw the people parked and traveling upon it: nothing like this lot of cooperation. Not bonded together to make one. Not at all like its stability. It’s interesting how the same elements we share with the … Continue reading Yet Separated

King Of Pain

The past few days have brought me a few realizations that had not been completely embraced, until now. Spending a good amount of time alone is something I’ve learned to deal with. For the past three days, I have been taking a break from work. As my wife has been working third shift and sleeping the majority of the rest of the time, and as … Continue reading King Of Pain

Now

So much sadness fills the hearts of people. No time for the fruits of His Spirit. You know, love, joy, peace, and so on. The opposing is rather forceful, it seems. The demons we possess–both past, present, and anticipated future–contaminate the light, pulling us into those places that no longer exist… Just in our heads. The heart aligns with those places. The opposing is familiar. … Continue reading Now

God Is With You, So Move On

When my dad was in his fifties, he began a change. These ways were limited to my view, as I was just beginning to visit him again after a three year hiatus. He was no longer a part of the family in any way, as he had separated from my mother and I perpetually. It was not until he and I reunited that I noticed … Continue reading God Is With You, So Move On

Missing Text

Are we all on the same page? It’s obviously a silly question, as no two people are alike. I have been home today and sleeping soundly. Heading to work this morning, I began to feel like my body was weighted down by a crippling heaviness, and it was not being relieved with ample amounts of coffee. After arriving at my job and pushing through for … Continue reading Missing Text

Bitching:

There’s really no other word for it. A woman in front of me is sticking her neck out and complaining to a stranger about her new car having a defect of some sort, as the man behind me is cussing his way through complaining about the line we are all standing in. We are at the BMV. There are a number of people—over twenty of … Continue reading Bitching:

There…

I used to be able to look deep into the distance and see with great detail, making out the movements of the sunlit leaves as they would gently give in to the breeze’s persuasion. Looking further, I could fix my eyes upon things–perhaps a mile away–and observe the sharpness of the edges. Not long ago, I began to notice the oncoming effects of age setting … Continue reading There…

Change

Before light, my mother would wake me on school days. After the alarm wouldn’t manage to budge me from my coma, due to the evening of drugs and alcohol the night before, her persistent voice would fill my room. I recall the usual routine of sitting at the sofa with the candy dish that I used as an ashtray, while flicking my ashes from the … Continue reading Change

The Calamities In You

I don’t read what most have to say. Yesterday was a beautiful morning. There is a certain long stretch of road surrounded by the landscape of trees that I especially enjoy in the early morning, as the sun’s rays display nicely there. I have been taking the road for the last few months on my commute to work. It’s a peaceful beginning to the inevitable … Continue reading The Calamities In You

Backlash

If I had the choice, I’d never do it all over again. Living in the past. Sure, I’ve written about the importance of living in the present numerous times, and I’ve found that it takes a great amount of effort on one’s own part to achieve this way of thinking. Years ago I never would have thought it was even possible. My whole life revolved … Continue reading Backlash

Outside Of The Box Is Love

How sweet of them, to leave such valuable donations. Soiled, pizzle-stained mattress; sofa in part Vomit for the next baby to securely be seated in. How wonderful! A pillow with louse! The hearts of the generous–giving their trash for a good cause, and leaving the next heart broken. Continue reading Outside Of The Box Is Love

While Things Come And Go

Your needs–are they becoming? Is anything outside of your desire to be right a need, you self-righteous pig?! The man in the mirror, mirroring the scar. Those things of yesterday–of hours, no longer relevant–still destroying you and everything/everyone around you. Becoming.     Scapegoat! Filthy animal! You should have killed them while you had the chance! You could be living with the guilt… Oh wait, … Continue reading While Things Come And Go

In Unison

In my world, a calm approach is sometimes the wrong approach. I was thankful Wednesday for the humbling sting of events prior to my car breaking down. It sometimes seems like when it rains it pours, as the saying goes. Several setbacks were a subtle setup for Wednesday morning’s much needed walk in the fresh air. Before heading into work, I took a stroll around … Continue reading In Unison