Thanks

I give thanks for the terrible situations. This morning is a dark and rainy one. The water is showering on the tin roof attached to the back portion of our home. I sit and write within shelter as the calming rain beats down on the metal, and it somehow reminds me of times that were devastating. Those little misunderstood triggers that bring about memories of … Continue reading Thanks

Little Me

Sometimes the thought of being me makes me cringe. How many times have the streams of thoughts been focused on the many dimensions of me? Too many, that’s the number. It is so stupid anymore. I have these days of self analysis that leave me completely worn. One of those days being today. The thoughts that I observe are constantly being criticized by me today. … Continue reading Little Me

Sweet Resilience

Hidden inside the box, life was much easier.  In ’97-’98 I was living with my father, but I think I began to notice those things that struck me as odd before moving in. The visits to his dumpy duplex in the middle of a very run-down part of the city always seemed to put me in a peculiar state. Pulling up to the grey and … Continue reading Sweet Resilience

How The Water Reflects

People who aren’t honest with themselves sure don’t make for good acquaintances, friends or lovers. The weekend was a bit longer since it actually began this past Wednesday for me. It was nice to have the extra days off from the labors at work. My Wednesday began with a few hours at the lake. Even though I didn’t catch any fish, the simple joy of … Continue reading How The Water Reflects

Brass Tacks

The introspection has lessons to teach if we allow it to do so. I’ve been fortunate the last few days, and it is through the pain that I’ve come to a few realizations. My work schedule has been put on hold for five days. While listening to music and spending some time reflecting on the many facets of my life, I’ve concluded a few facts. … Continue reading Brass Tacks

Ashes To Ashes

The life I once lived has a way of creeping back into my life when it is addressed by others. It is probably safe to say that all people have parts of their lives that they would rather forget about. A brief conversation with someone I love touched on things from days that are no longer here. Yet, like most, it was clear that the … Continue reading Ashes To Ashes

You Were Here…

A woman who seems to be deeply scarred by men from her past had me thinking about the people from my own past this evening. I tend to read the posts from the other bloggers I follow more so on the weekends. In a late night surf through the followed sites, I ran across another one of her writings. She seems to spend a lot … Continue reading You Were Here…

All Of The Noise

The constant stream of “talking” within the head sure has a lot to say. It is truly amazing when one encounters a personal breakthrough that alters the way he or she experiences their world. That has been the case for me this year. A medication has been removed in recent months, and even though I am incredibly thankful for the blessing of having it when … Continue reading All Of The Noise

Rehash

I don’t like some of the truths about myself. There is a whole blog that I created here that looks back on the past; all of the conditioning that created the monster I am. All of those failures and flaws that, in my thirties, caused me to see a god of judgment. The good Lord was a just spirit, or man, or both, and he … Continue reading Rehash

Thinking Of You

“You have to take the good with the bad.” I remember a friend of mine saying this many years ago. There is no telling what the situation was at the time that served as the reason why he had said it to me, but the simplistic truth of his statement still resonates. There was a big life-altering situation that occurred last night. I sat outside … Continue reading Thinking Of You

The Fallible Form We Know

The last few days have been a challenge, but isn’t that what this life is anyway? Long story very short, the build up of intolerance towards a very unnecessary habit of another led to me going off on them. I had enough of an individual making fun of every person we are both acquainted with. The habit–one exactly like my own in the past–was effecting … Continue reading The Fallible Form We Know

Lights

It was another arduous work week, but the end of Friday was an enjoyable time out on the many streets within the city. I brought the bike with me and cycled for just shy of two hours. Today, it is being felt. The noticeable healing process has slowed in the current run of my decay, but yet I still find myself being in much better … Continue reading Lights

Blind To Isness

The happening of the stars The happening of the blue in the sky we do observe with our optical view The happening of the heart The happening of the mind that scurries about continuously to judge what it will find The happening of an ego The happening of its lie The one that insists one must suffer before he or she must die The happening … Continue reading Blind To Isness

Take Me Away

When reading many of the writings of others, a common thread often appears: An escape is necessary. There has been so many roads along this personal journey. The times now behind have brought me to this very moment, and as reflection can be now be observed, I recall such disarray in my youthful ignorance. It was a bad, bad deal. I just didn’t know, as … Continue reading Take Me Away

Energy

I sat this evening with many different energies at work within their spaces, and I realized that we are of that same energy. The science doesn’t matter, but whatever creates our energy surely fills our space with a grandeur that is always in motion. It shall all be enjoyed, indeed. Continue reading Energy

Your Calm Beneath

In hindsight, the quest for understanding God had really screwed me up. My mother and I had a treacherous conversation the other day. It sometimes ends up being a disaster, and it’s usually my fault. It is difficult for me to listen to a miserable and repetitive cycle of thought patterns that are conveyed in the same series of words nearly every time I meet … Continue reading Your Calm Beneath

Blog That Ego

Who am I to draw attention to a narrative I call, “Mine?” An emphasis I present for someone else to compare to and compete with… A voice within, dying to speak louder and longer than… Maybe a 👍 to stroke the ego! Perhaps an agreement to boost the confidence! Am I the golden one with finger outstretched, pointing proudly, while the three of no blame … Continue reading Blog That Ego

Consumption

It was a humbling experience in recent days that had me stepping back in order to reassess a few major factors within myself. The ordered blood tests from my doctor were due before the upcoming visit with her next week. I arrived at the lab early Wednesday and they withdrew the desired amount. I received the test results a few hours later and did not … Continue reading Consumption

No More

There are a few people on WordPress that have not only contributed to the evaluation of my own faith in God, but also to how and what I believe about a divine Creator. I think it’s safe to say that the Bible is not a reliable source for understanding the universe and the many, many unanswered questions I have. According to one blogger, even though … Continue reading No More

In Attendance

It goes against the very grain of me to live in the Now. How often it has been throughout my life to go off into a time that only exists within my head; in memories of another now. The times when I had or went without. Times when things were not as good, or maybe better. Forgetting and most times ignoring those past times as … Continue reading In Attendance

Evading or Evolving?

The nook that I write at has been a place of many collective thoughts. Since we moved into our new home at the end of 2018, I set up shop here in our kitchen. The refurbished laptop purchased from eBay has been reliable throughout this writing journey. As I sit alone this morning and think about all of the words I’ve punched out on the … Continue reading Evading or Evolving?

In Between Spaces

There are small gaps in between these words and sentences, much like the spaces in between the thoughts behind them. When I began to write this morning, it occurred to me that my mind has been going through many changes throughout a somewhat short period of time. Several weeks has been an awakening of sorts. I’ve really noticed just how my little mind constantly speaks, … Continue reading In Between Spaces

Cleanse

Observance of my thoughts is the new norm, and many bloggers may soon get tired of me writing about it. Throughout the day today as I did my Sunday routine of riding the mountain bike in my former hometown, I noticed the old habit still clenching. I headed east this afternoon. The drive from home to the southwest side of the old city became very … Continue reading Cleanse

Unfathomed

I asked the question in a previous post, ‘I wonder what lies beyond the objective and subjective world?’ My intention was to receive feedback of different viewpoints, but I only received one response from a faithful follower of mine. His response was, “I believe this unknown area is where Truth is found.” My first thought was that “the Truth” he was referring to is Jesus. … Continue reading Unfathomed

Fraidy Cat

As I watch the world pass by, I wonder why people are so afraid of themselves? I’ve been hung up on this “pride” thing, lately. After recently writing posts relating to the pride we all possess, I have been going over the topic in my head all week. I keep coming back to this question of why most people appear to be insecure and afraid … Continue reading Fraidy Cat

The World Isn’t Kind

If it were up to me, I would keep my mind shut off from the constant battle between…good and evil? I really cannot say what has transpired in recent weeks, but there is a residual feeling of uneasiness that has been hanging over my head. Sometimes it is difficult to say with certainty that it is an attack of the supernatural (i.e. Devil), but something … Continue reading The World Isn’t Kind

Honestly…

Keeping the distance from most is probably what is best for me. There is a difference within us all, I believe it is fair to say, when it comes to the relationships we have with others. Loved ones, friends, acquaintances–all have their places within our own perspectives. We all decide accordingly pertaining to how we should handle each one of them. I have been thinking … Continue reading Honestly…

Tidings

It’s not difficult to look around and take this life of mine for granted. I sit this morning in an easy chair and observe all these accumulated objects that fulfill some kind of undefined necessity. It has me thinking about the days when things were much different. Throughout the many years, things have come and gone. Objects, people, places and thoughts. Even typing, I look … Continue reading Tidings

Something To Do

It is intriguing for me to observe the interests of others and to wonder why they do what they do. It’s also important. Being a deep thinker is hereditary, I’m finding. As I grow older, I’m beginning to see just how much of my father is really in here. He would study people (not in a creepy stalking manner, FYI), observing their words, facial expressions … Continue reading Something To Do

Aggregate

I found the piece of paper bearing the formula yesterday. It was like finding a fading photograph of an old friend. The memories of that time–like a song that took me right back to a certain place in life–flooded my morning. The moment I found it, I reflected on a major turning point in my life. Sitting down several years ago to write the final … Continue reading Aggregate

There…

I used to be able to look deep into the distance and see with great detail, making out the movements of the sunlit leaves as they would gently give in to the breeze’s persuasion. Looking further, I could fix my eyes upon things–perhaps a mile away–and observe the sharpness of the edges. Not long ago, I began to notice the oncoming effects of age setting … Continue reading There…

While Things Come And Go

Your needs–are they becoming? Is anything outside of your desire to be right a need, you self-righteous pig?! The man in the mirror, mirroring the scar. Those things of yesterday–of hours, no longer relevant–still destroying you and everything/everyone around you. Becoming.     Scapegoat! Filthy animal! You should have killed them while you had the chance! You could be living with the guilt… Oh wait, … Continue reading While Things Come And Go

Walking Along…

One with the elements, we are the same. A part of a whole. Everything we see and touch… Yes, we are the same. Same elements–different combinations… In you and I–the same building blocks of life and object… Walking along, I realized that we are one with all things… Shorting ourselves with insecurities, forgetting that we are part of that whole. Locked in with limitation. One … Continue reading Walking Along…

Where Darkness Lies

“I don’t understand the darkness” is a statement someone had made regarding my chosen style of writing. Throughout the past few years on WordPress, I have poured myself out through text. As a helpful tool I had used while evaluating my personal cognitive complexity, writing later evolved into a passion. I began to write of experiences, thoughts, my walk with God, as well as poems … Continue reading Where Darkness Lies

Not Secure

Within the flesh the inadequacies lie Fading and falling before we die Clinging to wisdom we see ourselves stable In blinding of night we see we’re not able When taking what we are and expecting much more We fade like we had in all times before We hit our graves early as we rob in our greed never ceasing to know just what we need Continue reading Not Secure

Wasteful Thinking

What does it do for you, to think on such things– the squander and morose. All the haste that it brings. Nothing is achieved, except the misery you teach. Mundane and jaded. My, the woes you do preach. Does it pay in the end to lose all you’ve gained? That beautiful laughter? The grip you maintained? A challenge has come, and you fold, with a … Continue reading Wasteful Thinking