I Choose Happiness

My mother and I sat down to our weekly lunch meetup at the local diner. Her bad news was even worse than the last time we had met up. For a woman pushing seventy, she is not that happy about her soon to be finalized divorce. There is nothing we can do for my mom. She has to handle the days as they go. She … Continue reading I Choose Happiness

On Earth as It Is in Heaven

There has been a lot of thoughts of dying within the past few weeks. It happens from time to time. I suppose it began many years ago when my grandma passed. It had me face the real fact of it. There were probably others that had died before her, and the dog I had when I was a boy that was struck by a car, … Continue reading On Earth as It Is in Heaven

A Bigger Picture

I stood in the living room and observed the details within our family photos. The memories were all there. Some distorted and forgotten. Many smiles had arrived. It was the jar of seashells from Florida and the two photos from different trips to Gatlinburg that made me feel the gratitude for all that life offers us. The photos from our wedding and the joy within … Continue reading A Bigger Picture

Flypaper

Those coiled, sticky strips that are hung in homes are effective, but they sure are gross! I was an exterminator for a period of time and used to see a lot of people using the eyesores. Growing up my grandma loved to smack them with the swatter. SPLAT! She seemed to enjoy it. Spread the bug guts on surfaces, or watch them slowly die on … Continue reading Flypaper

We Are One

It was too late to give his wife the husband she deserved–he was too busy pleasing himself with another woman. The kids had plans for Christmas morning, but mom and dad were passed out from the Heroin high. The lady in the cafe was upset with the man pacing the sidewalk. He was begging right outside the window where she sat. She had to get … Continue reading We Are One

Peace In Us

The joy of Christmas is something that has changed for me this year. A few months ago I was gazing into the vast and infinite space. Behind what was visible, I thought about how small I was. In the grand scheme of what I could comprehend as I observed, it occurred to me that my mind has such a minimal say in what was going … Continue reading Peace In Us

In A Time

The Vince Guaraldi Trio version of Christmas Time Is Here once made me shed tears of sorrow when hearing it. I lost my grandfather in December of 2000. He was the man who I looked at as my true father. It was tough watching him slowly wither during that winter. While being sad because of grandmother’s recent passing, as well as watching grandpa suffer from … Continue reading In A Time

Hammer and Nail

Maybe it is safe to say that I’m analytical because of the past? There was always a deep desire to do as daddy instructed: use my own two hands to figure it out. My father was barely engaged in my passions to create things. I believe my friends and I wanted a skateboard ramp when he said, “You have two hands, figure it out.” That … Continue reading Hammer and Nail

Rubbish

Rubbish. That is what the post was last night. The Christian man pissed me off again last night. He is the one who I have been sort of obsessed with. He and I have had our differences over the years, and when I had shared the same religion, we always seemed to have a way of bunting heads. We were both set in our stubborn … Continue reading Rubbish

Thanks

I give thanks for the terrible situations. This morning is a dark and rainy one. The water is showering on the tin roof attached to the back portion of our home. I sit and write within shelter as the calming rain beats down on the metal, and it somehow reminds me of times that were devastating. Those little misunderstood triggers that bring about memories of … Continue reading Thanks

A Giant Misconception?

It was always a pleasure as we would kick around in nature when my friends and I were growing up. The neighborhood kids and I had the entire world to explore, tucked away in a little one-mile radius of the city. We had a place called the Brickyards, which was a clay quarry. In the old excavated parts, a lake, cliffs, deciduous trees and overgrowth … Continue reading A Giant Misconception?

It Cannot Be Unseen

Drifting off into a memory from the childhood–a simple memory that seems to stick with me throughout the years–took me by surprise Friday evening. I was probably no more than three at the time. It was definitely a clear, sunny day with plenty of lush greenery; spring or summer in the early Eighties. I witnessed a young man with a boombox on his shoulder, with … Continue reading It Cannot Be Unseen

Brilliance

I heard the tune on Pandora this evening, and it had me thinking about recent weeks. When I was a kid, walking in nature was always one of my favorite things to do. My family, friends and I would often find ourselves in the wooded areas around our area. Camping, fishing, riding our bikes, just walking or sometimes sledding in the hilly trails during winter–we … Continue reading Brilliance

Not Knowing How

The raw truth of our matters aren’t always what we desire to confront. I sat in front of a pulpit today and listened to our old church pastor lay it out for us: the familiar talk about the love of Jesus accompanied by pastor’s personal bashing of how sinful everyone is. We were at a relative’s funeral service in a church, having to sit through … Continue reading Not Knowing How

Beatdown

The following is a personal testimony. This testimony is intentionally being placed within categories that Christians frequently post, with the intent of many of them realizing how I personally view many of the writings found within. I will start by saying that I will be direct and blunt within my testimony. Honesty is the best policy. With that, I will not be pointing fingers directly … Continue reading Beatdown

Diary Entry

I woke up. It was enough for me this morning to just be grateful for waking. Taken for granted, most days. Yesterday had its own worries and blessings, and I am assured today will be the same. She has a new diagnosis. She read about the devastating effects the shit could very well have on her. At worst, fatal. Watching her lock herself in the … Continue reading Diary Entry

When We Are There

Looking at all that had been, he stared into the shadows of years gone awry. Like the meeting of silhouette on sunlit grass, his life swayed with unpredictable certainty. His lingering sorrows of a love lost, blown somewhere into the abyss of airy blue, above the shades of regret he knew. The cool of downing light–a temporary peace. The man was only human– as fragile … Continue reading When We Are There

Forgotten

A man sat on the floor with his head in his hands trying to avoid the one who wouldn’t be still His paranoia was getting the best of him as the other danced before receiving his pill The mental ward was next to silent that morning but the voices in his head were screaming He just wanted those people to leave him alone Auditory hallucinations … Continue reading Forgotten

Our Rivers

The bleeding heart: never void of the coming and going. Taking in–thrusting forward. The life-blood faithfully jaunts, replenishing; renewing. A carrier of our drive; a river of nourishing fare. Vital. Not critical. Tolerant. Here we are: bias and unfair… Nothing like the blood that we all share; unlike the blood sent abroad by the bleeding heart. Continue reading Our Rivers

Carried

Her need for excitement has no bounds–no limitations. Each night, the liquor provides for her… Tantalizing sensations. Painted face, powdered nose. Fragrance of flower. She hits the city for a night of needs. For the moment, empowered. Dancing around, drowning in the cocktails of apathy. Her prophecy, fulfilled. She scans the room for the body — masculine and thrilled.   Darkness and desire. The guilt … Continue reading Carried

A Little Insight…

There has been a running focal point of frustration within the writings that I choose to post, and I thought I would take the opportunity to explain why this morning. I’ve been upset with the “church” experience, many times over. Yes, one can tell me the usual, “No one is perfect.”, or the standard, “You must go to church. God commands it!” Although I agree … Continue reading A Little Insight…

The Son of Today

The innocence we portray, as though we are not guilty in any way, is the lie that we rise to greet each day, and it’s colorful demise is brightest on Sunday. Even as some gather between the mortar and brick the lie returns tomorrow, and there, they will pick to ignore all that was claimed in the pious clique under the steeple where deception made … Continue reading The Son of Today

Good Teacher

If God is love, then why do they judge? If they are of Him, then why the unyielding grudge? Beaten with verses–the tattered man’s already in pain. They don’t understand why men of God are so vain. Love them with discernment, but is it this way? Do they show them His love with the words that they say?   The hurt man needs Jesus, not … Continue reading Good Teacher

Keeping My Love Unlimited

The biggest problem I have with my own faith is seeing and knowing absolutely great and loving people, and being forced to believe they are going to hell because they don’t necessarily believe what I do. It’s not limited to those outside of Christians, but within the confessing community. It bewilders me when I think about how the Lord blesses the world with so many … Continue reading Keeping My Love Unlimited

Modeling for Church

They dress up for occasion. They decorate their hearts. Ugly souls full of evil playing their parts.   Mockers and scoffers. Holders of contempt. Perfect reasons to believe that they are exempt. Hateful love. A word of insight. Leaving those already broken with strengthening plight. Eyes of judgment. Tongue of arrogance. Pity the fool with intelligence. Christ is your Savior. IS HE MINE??? Tell me … Continue reading Modeling for Church

Eventual Sands

His stones were getting heavy. He placed them on the ground. A little relief from the intensity. He stood and studied what was found.   He took a seat next to them. He rummaged through the stones of time. Some were smooth and full of character. Others were roughened by his crime. One was stained with blood of an enemy. Another, riddled with diamond trace. … Continue reading Eventual Sands

Supreme Concern

Are they concerned, or do they only speak for themselves? Do the teachers and preachers look in the mirror of the morning and shine; finding a splendid way to stroke their own ego until night falls, where the mirror then smiles back at them in that evening hour of contentment?? “Good job, master. You’ve done so much for yourself.” Looking back at your failures, you … Continue reading Supreme Concern

Preach It, Brother…

I struggle with sin. Yes, I admit. So, throw your stones — do what you see fit. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve heard how I’m not like Christ from a “brother”, whose correction is always precise.   I’m sickened by the man whose sole intention is to berate. Teaching the world, “that, of God” making himself look oh, so great. Battering the addict … Continue reading Preach It, Brother…

Morning Meditations

In the morning, I usually sit at our kitchen island, on a bar stool. Throughout the island are little remnants of our lives: various papers, pencils and pens, bills, keys, wires for devices, magazines, and this laptop that I use to write. Although we have five here, I find myself alone in this early hour. The kids are asleep, one is away. My wife is … Continue reading Morning Meditations

JESUS DESTROYED OUR SIN IN HIS BODY [1330b] — CROSSROMAN

This seems to be a good way of putting the atonement in a way that can be understood. The saying “He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross” gives the impact of it but without the explanation to accompany it. “He bore our sins” by becoming one of us ‘in the flesh’ […] via JESUS DESTROYED OUR SIN IN HIS BODY [1330b] — … Continue reading JESUS DESTROYED OUR SIN IN HIS BODY [1330b] — CROSSROMAN

What??

Writing about what is real is often accompanied by the ruffling of feathers. People seem to want validation, acknowledgement, agreements and a “like”: the newer form of appreciation we find. The great thing called social media — impersonal and unclear, many times — is the hip way of the world. We don’t have to sit with anyone and converse… Just give it a like!! Anyway, … Continue reading What??

The Public Announcements

I am exhausted. Not physically, but mentally. It is just before 5 a.m., and I am already there. It didn’t take long for me to arrive here. I tend to avoid social media in the morning, as I have found that it is getting to be less about sharing the personal joys of family and friends and more about slandering, with some really distasteful content … Continue reading The Public Announcements

Greater Is He?

What is the good Christian? I legitimately ask. Is it the one who goes to church? The one who completes a fast? Maybe it is the devout on their knees, with Holy Rosary beads. Or, the one that flogs themseves because the guilt inside impedes. Is it the guy in the same pew each week? The gal translating in Greek? Perhaps it’s the finely dressed … Continue reading Greater Is He?

I Must Not Be

I didn’t go to church yesterday. I didn’t dress for a part to play. I didn’t have a dime for the plate. I didn’t proclaim the speaker was great. I didn’t eat more than I can hold. I didn’t join in with the stories told. I didn’t act as if life is fine. I didn’t correct what isn’t mine. I didn’t quote a verse, bringing … Continue reading I Must Not Be

We, As Shepherds, Are Sometimes Bias

The following is a writing from Alyson Kieda, via Our Daily Bread website Today’s Scripture & Insight: Matthew 9:27-38 When Jeff was a new believer in Jesus and fresh out of college, he worked for a major oil company. In his role as a salesman, he traveled; and in his travels he heard people’s stories—many of them heartbreaking. He realized that what his customers most … Continue reading We, As Shepherds, Are Sometimes Bias

Cynically Sinless

We worry about the day — our choice and our way — questioning ourselves, anyway.   We look through our own eyes — we judge ourselves; we chastise — and we find things we despise.   We take a closer look — into the heart the world took — and see that we are far from our good book.   We hate ourselves as we … Continue reading Cynically Sinless

What We Give

Christmas time is upon us, and I have been reading the usual Christian posts: the real reason for the season, the Pagan roots of the holiday, the reasons why we should or shouldn’t celebrate, Scripture quotes. The usual. I have been thinking about what the true meaning of Christmas has become to me while being up at this very unusual hour of the morning. I … Continue reading What We Give

Greater Is He

How selfish can one be to think that we are only what can be seen? To think that I’m so very blind to the things that you identify? To think that you are so astute… Is their no error in what you construe?   I don’t agree that you and me have irrefutable consciousness when we see. When we view another — a sister or … Continue reading Greater Is He

Cleaning House

Why do some strive to fix others when they can’t even fix themselves? They’d rather avoid their own mess and tidy up someone else. They kick and scream about the failures of men, pushing aside their own mirror image of sin. It must be pleasing to avoid such decay — no focus on the inner, just how others will pay. Way up high, looking down … Continue reading Cleaning House

‘Check, Please.’

As I was sitting in on a sermon at the church my family and I were attending several years ago, which just happened to be right before I was deciding to become what the institutionalized church refers to as, “a member”, I was finished with the nourishment provided. After a several-course meal of the spiritual foods I had never tasted before, throughout a run of … Continue reading ‘Check, Please.’

Placidity

The peace one can find when not bombarded and worried When the body is easy When the mind is not hurried   A quiet eve by the fire A glass in hand Beautiful music on low so moving and grand   A day with a friend catching up on what has come Two separate lives in the moment as one   A hug from your … Continue reading Placidity

Unknowns

What if there were no boundaries? No dividing lines between? No two points of reference? No obscurities to be seen?   What if we never lived in emotion? No driving force of fear? Not clouded by the worried mind that impairs what we see and hear?   What if we were simply a part of His space? The space we fill with this and that? … Continue reading Unknowns

Through The Thorn

I find myself walking away, pretty often these days, from the madness others create in my personal malaise. Sometimes, the ways of others pulls me down to a familiar land. A place where I once walked in ways I can no longer stand. They call me to come along with them; to embark in ways of old. They say, “for old times’ sake,” but misery … Continue reading Through The Thorn

Lacerations

It has been humbling in recent weeks to recognize how so many individuals are incredibly self-absorbed. My wife and I sometimes watch a television show about couples who are married at first sight. They have no knowledge of each other preceding the union of marriage. Throughout the period of several weeks, the couples go through the processes of getting to know each other, while three … Continue reading Lacerations

Soapbox Sabotage

Why do His children fool themselves by believing the obvious lies? Pulling wool over their own faces; blinding prideful eyes. Point to Scripture — and if they don’t like — they talk and talk some more. They talk around the sin at hand, while tiptoeing for the door. If in error, or if doctrine corrected, the proud man makes excuse. If you back it up … Continue reading Soapbox Sabotage

The Accused

A fear that is always constant as they read the pages of old. The God of wrath and anger. The believer loves to scold.   They see how God destroyed and despised the child He’d made as they carried on rebelling– following the course the serpent laid.   They tell others to obey, not seeing how they fall short in the exact same manner as … Continue reading The Accused

A Table For One

Some of God’s children are condemning those who fail– gloating and showing off, as they boastfully prevail. “Look at how their faith is of little use, as they welcome their underlying issues and the mask them with abuse! They are so dumb–can you believe what they do? They need to read their Bibles, and be like me and you! Just look at us; we are … Continue reading A Table For One