There…

I used to be able to look deep into the distance and see with great detail, making out the movements of the sunlit leaves as they would gently give in to the breeze’s persuasion. Looking further, I could fix my eyes upon things–perhaps a mile away–and observe the sharpness of the edges. Not long ago, I began to notice the oncoming effects of age setting … Continue reading There…

Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 2 of 2)

When I say, “heart,” I suppose I mean the inner being of myself. The soul–the thing that is driving this flabby, muscly, bony body. The magic that keeps me alive, if you will. Truly, the whole God thing really tugged at me, causing great mental and physical distress. The whole experience became an obsession. I had to figure this stuff out. The thing is, I … Continue reading Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 2 of 2)

Where Darkness Lies

“I don’t understand the darkness” is a statement someone had made regarding my chosen style of writing. Throughout the past few years on WordPress, I have poured myself out through text. As a helpful tool I had used while evaluating my personal cognitive complexity, writing later evolved into a passion. I began to write of experiences, thoughts, my walk with God, as well as poems … Continue reading Where Darkness Lies

Not Secure

Within the flesh the inadequacies lie Fading and falling before we die Clinging to wisdom we see ourselves stable In blinding of night we see we’re not able When taking what we are and expecting much more We fade like we had in all times before We hit our graves early as we rob in our greed never ceasing to know just what we need Continue reading Not Secure

Fast-Forward

Whatever happened to scabbed elbows? Dirty knees? Jumping into lakes and climbing trees? The call of the mother from the front porch swing? A half a dozen kids all playing the same thing? What happened to Fireflies gathered together in jars? A friend of a friend who was a friend of ours? What happened to the youth that remained the same for so long? Back … Continue reading Fast-Forward

Morning Meditations

In the morning, I usually sit at our kitchen island, on a bar stool. Throughout the island are little remnants of our lives: various papers, pencils and pens, bills, keys, wires for devices, magazines, and this laptop that I use to write. Although we have five here, I find myself alone in this early hour. The kids are asleep, one is away. My wife is … Continue reading Morning Meditations

Feeling Like Doo-Doo

Today, thanks to the spreading of germs, I am sick. Ugh. I didn’t sleep well, have a fever and the beginnings of congestion in my head. I’m not sure what my stomach is planning on doing? Overall, I feel like doing nothing but typing out a few things, lying in my recliner and sipping some coffee. We all have gotten sick at one point or … Continue reading Feeling Like Doo-Doo

Silent Answer

Aren’t we all unique? One person hides, another speaks. One has a day of total tranquility, while the other lacks in that particular ability. One is consumed with a raging desire to win. The other expects to lose before they begin. The woman goes out to find another thrill, and the man stays in because he’d rather chill. A simple suggestion from a friend causes … Continue reading Silent Answer

The Great Flood

Drenched. So immensely saturated by the things that hang from me. Losing strength. So much work, so little time. “A break?” ‘………..no.’ I must build the wall before the levee breaks. But, this weight! Clinging like a parasite to the host, slowly draining the life………from….me. Oh God, slow me down! Stop this downpour long enough for me to catch that much needed break….. Oh, look. … Continue reading The Great Flood

Insomnia Show

The mind never pauses. Even when tired, and during those sleepless nights, it crawls. Pushing its way through the perceptions of senses — firing and short-circuiting. The hare and the tortoise compete. With eyes falling silently closed, the vision of our creative element performs — our personal Hamlet, on the fly. As lids open, the rushing and random remains: ‘What did I do with that……………is … Continue reading Insomnia Show

Unsettled

These last few days have been pretty strange. I can’t really put my finger on it, but the atmosphere has a certain feel to it that is not the usual here in my personal space. It could be the weather that has been unseasonably warm for this time of year, but I think it goes much deeper than that. It may be that I am … Continue reading Unsettled

Behind The Heart

Just be what you would like to see in others. The moment one begins to act as if they are above someone else, it quickly sets them in a position that people tend to avoid. What do you see within yourself? Beyond the flesh and bone that surrounds the true, inner self, what do you see? The thought that I had this morning as I … Continue reading Behind The Heart

Unknowns

What if there were no boundaries? No dividing lines between? No two points of reference? No obscurities to be seen?   What if we never lived in emotion? No driving force of fear? Not clouded by the worried mind that impairs what we see and hear?   What if we were simply a part of His space? The space we fill with this and that? … Continue reading Unknowns

Memory

The man who broke her heart. The perfect moment in time. The day they plunged into the cold lake after two bottles of wine. The day he lost his fortune, after pissing it away. The night the bridge had closed after her brother jumped into the bay. The long line at the soup kitchen, where they ran out of supply before the man could get … Continue reading Memory

So Much More

This journey of mine has really led me to some very interesting places within myself. In retrospect, I am seeing just how much wasted energy has been placed upon becoming my negative thoughts, opposed to simply observing them. This morning, I am thinking deeply about the difference, as well as the development of the strategies I have encountered throughout the journey that have kept / … Continue reading So Much More

Take A Look

So many opinions, so little time, to see the individuality– what is yours, what is mine. Streamline the masses– tell them they’re wrong when the speak a different language or sing a different song. Opinions are not optional to the one who’s talking down in a condescending manner to the one who stands their ground. The proud man walks ahead and waits for the next … Continue reading Take A Look

The Short Distance

Time is not on our side. The clock is ticking–counting down. Life began in a flash, and it ends the same way. We breathe in life, and exhale our demise.   The heart and brain. The skeletal structure. All of the fibers and… the blood.   The imagery gathered by the eyes that examine. The mind that translates. Tasting, touching and feeling; sensing what our … Continue reading The Short Distance

Progress In Motion

Sitting silent in the shadow comfortable in the disease Panicked in the peacefulness no real reason for unease Pass a day within a confine ‘better off’ you calmly say No real reason to have faith in you after failing in your way If change means looking further from the complacent view you hold then taking small steps forward may only limit what could unfold Your … Continue reading Progress In Motion

We Are Stardust

I think it is just fascinating that we are made up of the things the cosmos contain. It’s intriguing to observe the true contents of our flesh and bone structure. Almost 99% of our bodies, according to the Wikipedia website, are constructed of oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium and phosphorous – the same elements found throughout the entire universe. Awesome! What’s even more intriguing, even … Continue reading We Are Stardust

Rationalizing

It’s funny, how I try to justify, make sense of and conclude. It’s a never ending cycle. The many different things that I go over within my personal life; the very things that make me who I am. Those things are viewed through a, sometimes, very broken and smudged lens, while other times it is as clear as a summer morning without a cloud in … Continue reading Rationalizing

Forgotten Silences

There is a certain moment within many mornings throughout the week. I start my vehicle and sit for a few minutes under the large trees lining our street. I usually find some music to listen to and lay my collection of items in the passenger seat. That time is a routine I’ve had for many years. There is about a half-hour drive to my place … Continue reading Forgotten Silences

Decluttering

As I was cleaning up this morning; placing the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, cleaning up the kitchen, doing laundry and hanging a few pictures from my father’s home, I was going through many things within. Accompanied by the soothing music in my headphones and the emotions that ensued from the joy of the instrumentals, I surrendered to the calming. The calming: a peace of … Continue reading Decluttering

Marred

A keen eye for detail. A very, almost obsessive-compulsive, distinguished habit of fixing every little feature of a task. I recently found a picture my mother or father had taken of me drawing cartoon characters. The specific time is something that I vividly recall. I was around five years of age and had received a ‘how to’ book which taught the basics of character sketching. … Continue reading Marred

“Listen, Devil…”

My wife and I should have chosen our careers somewhere within criminal justice. We are both very interested in the forensics, psychology of the criminal mind and legal action, just to name a few aspects. We are very adamant and supportive of our judicial system, even though we both agree its representatives can be very corrupt. We support the rightful penalties of criminal actions, as … Continue reading “Listen, Devil…”

Genuine

I had a friend who would spend his days as a cowboy. He wasn’t out on the ranch rounding up cattle, or a gunslinger, and he didn’t lasso wild bulls at the rodeo. He wore a Stetson hat, tight Wrangler jeans, expensive boots, the big belt buckle, listened to all of the country music of the current time and spoke with a ‘southern’ accent. He … Continue reading Genuine

The Gift Of Time

Sometimes I imagine myself in the middle of space, far from the planet. Of course, I wouldn’t survive as I would here, but I simply imagine observing the vastness of space. All of the never before seen wonder that it would behold. As I imagine this place I will never physically experience, I think about how I would have no sense of time. No clock, … Continue reading The Gift Of Time

Time For Me

I noticed this morning, like many other mornings and days I have had throughout my life, that I was starting to wander. My thoughts were taking me to places that were not of peace. It has taken me many years to undo those patterns within my mind that have done nothing but destroy me not only mentally, but physically. In turn, my gratitude and willingness … Continue reading Time For Me

I’m Tired…

You sure can’t fix others. There has been an ongoing struggle between myself and a loved one that I have been writing about lately. Once again, we are at a standstill. Joe and I, not the real name of the person but what I will call them, have been fighting a serious battle. Long story short, Joe and I have a hard time letting things … Continue reading I’m Tired…

Diffusing Our Bombs

There is a current headline that is titled “Man in Florida arrested, charged in connection with mail bombs sent to public figures” that was displayed on The Washington Post website today. After skimming through the article, I quickly realized that it was about a man who had sent out homemade bombs to political figures. To be honest, I quit reading it after I understood the … Continue reading Diffusing Our Bombs

“Good Seeing You Too.”

My best friend came by for a visit last night. Actually, I visited him. I needed him to assist in finding something illegal. I had a dream about my deceased buddy. I woke this morning thinking about the many times my deceased loved ones have appeared within my dreams. The conversations that we share. The usual strange aspects and details of our visits. The situations. … Continue reading “Good Seeing You Too.”

Just A Thought

It’s Monday, and I am just waking up. I am sitting and thinking about many things. Yesterday was a great day of fellowship with a friend of mine. It was a good feeling this morning to stop and think about the friendship and lessons we had taught each other. I’m thinking about the wasted years. Those years of filling my life with filth. The opposite … Continue reading Just A Thought

An Unexpected Friend

Over the years, there have been many dreams that have left their mysterious messages embedded within my memories. I had a dream about my friend who’d passed away twelve years ago this coming September. In the dream, Metallica was coming to our city. Metallica is a heavy metal band, and back when my friend and I were at our closest, we both liked their music. … Continue reading An Unexpected Friend

The Spotlight Is Incredibly Blinding

What we accomplish has great reward. We set out to do a good deed, or go to a school in order to receive a degree. We work our way up the ladder within the corporate world. As we progress in whatever success we have dedicated ourselves to, we reflect on the work that we have put in. We experience feelings of euphoria, or happiness. We … Continue reading The Spotlight Is Incredibly Blinding

A New Way To Begin

The appreciation for each morning has really evolved over that past few years. I lost a good friend in 2006, and it was a very trying time for me. My buddy, who actually was one of my enemies for years prior, became one of the most trusted confidants I have ever known. We would have the deepest conversations, and he was one of the reasons … Continue reading A New Way To Begin

The Mysterious Trail Of Thoughts

There are days where I am so deep in thought. It seems to be a thing I’ve carried as I walk along the roads of my journey. In past times, I would periodically sit in the woods for hours, just thinking. Thinking about the life I was living, and how empty it really was. I would think about all of the ugliness within it. I … Continue reading The Mysterious Trail Of Thoughts