I used to see the dark of night as a place to hide my battles. A blanket of comfortable absence for the absent joy. Void of color, visual stimulation and value where solitude made a home. If the rain had fallen, a reflective shimmer would arise, granted light did appear. Black glass on streets of sorrows; deceptive thoughts of promising tomorrows. Hiding in a canopy … Continue reading Binary
Being pulled from the lucid dream by a sound in the room, I was saved from the fall to the ground. My journey through the German countryside, which as I recall was a backdrop for a music video that I was physically an observer of. My brother and his band played some sort of collection while the somewhat psychedelic storyline taking place throughout the German … Continue reading The Road Never Traveled
I sometimes hold the kitties to the mirror just to see what their reaction will be. It usually goes down in a way that is not like my own. A short glance is all that I see them do. Maybe they see themselves? Maybe they see another cat? Don’t know. I can’t ask, and we don’t speak the same language. The new way of seeing … Continue reading Do The Animals Compare Like Humans?
It is so draining to have a lot of time with myself, but it is also eye-opening. The past few days have been kind of strange. I realized how much time there is in a full day, and if I don’t have things to fill up the space within the day, my mind will go into deep thought about the situations I cannot really do … Continue reading Deny Thy Self
Sometimes the thought of being me makes me cringe. How many times have the streams of thoughts been focused on the many dimensions of me? Too many, that’s the number. It is so stupid anymore. I have these days of self analysis that leave me completely worn. One of those days being today. The thoughts that I observe are constantly being criticized by me today. … Continue reading Little Me
The life I once lived has a way of creeping back into my life when it is addressed by others. It is probably safe to say that all people have parts of their lives that they would rather forget about. A brief conversation with someone I love touched on things from days that are no longer here. Yet, like most, it was clear that the … Continue reading Ashes To Ashes
Picking up a children’s book from the shelf this morning while dusting, I noticed the title of the book that contained the words, “Daily Devotions.” My curiosity led me to a page within it that illustrated a child looking up into the sky and apologizing to God for doing something wrong. While sitting in front of the book shelf with the thought still swimming around, … Continue reading Pulled From Within
The last few days have been a challenge, but isn’t that what this life is anyway? Long story very short, the build up of intolerance towards a very unnecessary habit of another led to me going off on them. I had enough of an individual making fun of every person we are both acquainted with. The habit–one exactly like my own in the past–was effecting … Continue reading The Fallible Form We Know
There is a blogger who likes to conclude his posts with the words, “Something to think about.” It is a religious blog. Each week the posts are sent out into cyber space and arrive, like this one, in front of an audience to be analyzed. The recipients then have the chance to agree, reject, or remain neutral after digesting the writing. The something to think … Continue reading No Guarantee
The happening of the stars The happening of the blue in the sky we do observe with our optical view The happening of the heart The happening of the mind that scurries about continuously to judge what it will find The happening of an ego The happening of its lie The one that insists one must suffer before he or she must die The happening … Continue reading Blind To Isness
It occurred to me today that writing is just another form of identifying myself. At this time, even though I recognize the blog as an extension of my ego, I will keep the platform up and running. Although, it is not something that I absolutely must have like it had been at first. Just a few years ago the belief of needing a place to … Continue reading Oh, God!
It was a humbling experience in recent days that had me stepping back in order to reassess a few major factors within myself. The ordered blood tests from my doctor were due before the upcoming visit with her next week. I arrived at the lab early Wednesday and they withdrew the desired amount. I received the test results a few hours later and did not … Continue reading Consumption
I appreciate this man’s message, for it is becoming more apparent that I too share his view. What do you gather from the following? Continue reading What I Believe
The watcher witnessed the children at play, and he wondered how a loving God could send them to a place called Hell. He took off his mask for a moment, and he felt the sun’s warmth cover his very being. The watcher closed his eyes and thought of his own child; no longer among the other children. Gone away. Under a mound of earth. No … Continue reading Mask of Mind
There was a truth that presented itself this afternoon on my way home from the workplace. Maybe it was more of a collection of truths? As any reader could probably gather when visiting the blog and especially the last several posts, my focus has shifted to the acknowledgment of just how much I identify myself with mind: the voice that never stops chattering within me. … Continue reading The Enigma Of Being Comfortably Uncertain
How often are you present? youtube.com/watch Continue reading It’s Never A Present Contentment, Is It?
I saw the universal truth of every living thing within my recent experiences. There is something outside of my work routine at the place of employment that pulls me into the natural world outdoors. For the last few weeks I have diligently been working on our landscaping. It is satisfying for me to spruce up the flower beds, as well as beneficial when putting out … Continue reading Trustworthiness
youtube.com/watch Continue reading Knowing The Difference
The nook that I write at has been a place of many collective thoughts. Since we moved into our new home at the end of 2018, I set up shop here in our kitchen. The refurbished laptop purchased from eBay has been reliable throughout this writing journey. As I sit alone this morning and think about all of the words I’ve punched out on the … Continue reading Evading or Evolving?
The beginning of a transformative way of observation has been leeching. It is something that has latched onto my thinking mind and is slowly becoming the new normal. I took a long bike ride through the city yesterday evening. The five o’clock hour marked the beginning of a nine day vacation from the employer. It is always a freeing experience to ride for me, as … Continue reading Quiddity
There are small gaps in between these words and sentences, much like the spaces in between the thoughts behind them. When I began to write this morning, it occurred to me that my mind has been going through many changes throughout a somewhat short period of time. Several weeks has been an awakening of sorts. I’ve really noticed just how my little mind constantly speaks, … Continue reading In Between Spaces
youtube.com/watch Continue reading A Deeper Look Into The Light
To free myself of the addiction of overthinking is in the works. I’ve spent some time going over the past few years of posts within this blog of mine in recent weeks. Writing about the experiences I had throughout time seemed to help me process the inner frustrations and insecurities. Being transparent, publicly, served as a therapy to help me identify those issues causing my … Continue reading The Greatest Addiction
I asked the question in a previous post, ‘I wonder what lies beyond the objective and subjective world?’ My intention was to receive feedback of different viewpoints, but I only received one response from a faithful follower of mine. His response was, “I believe this unknown area is where Truth is found.” My first thought was that “the Truth” he was referring to is Jesus. … Continue reading Unfathomed
youtube.com/watch Continue reading Truths
Presently Not a waiting game Nothing to unfold Only a space in a name… Labels for our physical We must identify Missing the present Behind our corporeal lie… Weaving the fabric Missing what’s beyond Figuring and factoring We lead ourselves on… Trueness is missed Our need for a need Silence dismissed Our presence is greed… Most can’t escape Many have not a clue… Removal of … Continue reading Fear Prohibits
I used to be able to look deep into the distance and see with great detail, making out the movements of the sunlit leaves as they would gently give in to the breeze’s persuasion. Looking further, I could fix my eyes upon things–perhaps a mile away–and observe the sharpness of the edges. Not long ago, I began to notice the oncoming effects of age setting … Continue reading There…
When I say, “heart,” I suppose I mean the inner being of myself. The soul–the thing that is driving this flabby, muscly, bony body. The magic that keeps me alive, if you will. Truly, the whole God thing really tugged at me, causing great mental and physical distress. The whole experience became an obsession. I had to figure this stuff out. The thing is, I … Continue reading Square Peg–Round Hole (Part 2 of 2)
“I don’t understand the darkness” is a statement someone had made regarding my chosen style of writing. Throughout the past few years on WordPress, I have poured myself out through text. As a helpful tool I had used while evaluating my personal cognitive complexity, writing later evolved into a passion. I began to write of experiences, thoughts, my walk with God, as well as poems … Continue reading Where Darkness Lies
Within the flesh the inadequacies lie Fading and falling before we die Clinging to wisdom we see ourselves stable In blinding of night we see we’re not able When taking what we are and expecting much more We fade like we had in all times before We hit our graves early as we rob in our greed never ceasing to know just what we need Continue reading Not Secure
Whatever happened to scabbed elbows? Dirty knees? Jumping into lakes and climbing trees? The call of the mother from the front porch swing? A half a dozen kids all playing the same thing? What happened to Fireflies gathered together in jars? A friend of a friend who was a friend of ours? What happened to the youth that remained the same for so long? Back … Continue reading Fast-Forward
In the morning, I usually sit at our kitchen island, on a bar stool. Throughout the island are little remnants of our lives: various papers, pencils and pens, bills, keys, wires for devices, magazines, and this laptop that I use to write. Although we have five here, I find myself alone in this early hour. The kids are asleep, one is away. My wife is … Continue reading Morning Meditations
Today, thanks to the spreading of germs, I am sick. Ugh. I didn’t sleep well, have a fever and the beginnings of congestion in my head. I’m not sure what my stomach is planning on doing? Overall, I feel like doing nothing but typing out a few things, lying in my recliner and sipping some coffee. We all have gotten sick at one point or … Continue reading Feeling Like Doo-Doo
Aren’t we all unique? One person hides, another speaks. One has a day of total tranquility, while the other lacks in that particular ability. One is consumed with a raging desire to win. The other expects to lose before they begin. The woman goes out to find another thrill, and the man stays in because he’d rather chill. A simple suggestion from a friend causes … Continue reading Silent Answer
Drenched. So immensely saturated by the things that hang from me. Losing strength. So much work, so little time. “A break?” ‘………..no.’ I must build the wall before the levee breaks. But, this weight! Clinging like a parasite to the host, slowly draining the life………from….me. Oh God, slow me down! Stop this downpour long enough for me to catch that much needed break….. Oh, look. … Continue reading The Great Flood
The mind never pauses. Even when tired, and during those sleepless nights, it crawls. Pushing its way through the perceptions of senses — firing and short-circuiting. The hare and the tortoise compete. With eyes falling silently closed, the vision of our creative element performs — our personal Hamlet, on the fly. As lids open, the rushing and random remains: ‘What did I do with that……………is … Continue reading Insomnia Show
These last few days have been pretty strange. I can’t really put my finger on it, but the atmosphere has a certain feel to it that is not the usual here in my personal space. It could be the weather that has been unseasonably warm for this time of year, but I think it goes much deeper than that. It may be that I am … Continue reading Unsettled
Just be what you would like to see in others. The moment one begins to act as if they are above someone else, it quickly sets them in a position that people tend to avoid. What do you see within yourself? Beyond the flesh and bone that surrounds the true, inner self, what do you see? The thought that I had this morning as I … Continue reading Behind The Heart
What if there were no boundaries? No dividing lines between? No two points of reference? No obscurities to be seen? What if we never lived in emotion? No driving force of fear? Not clouded by the worried mind that impairs what we see and hear? What if we were simply a part of His space? The space we fill with this and that? … Continue reading Unknowns
The man who broke her heart. The perfect moment in time. The day they plunged into the cold lake after two bottles of wine. The day he lost his fortune, after pissing it away. The night the bridge had closed after her brother jumped into the bay. The long line at the soup kitchen, where they ran out of supply before the man could get … Continue reading Memory
This journey of mine has really led me to some very interesting places within myself. In retrospect, I am seeing just how much wasted energy has been placed upon becoming my negative thoughts, opposed to simply observing them. This morning, I am thinking deeply about the difference, as well as the development of the strategies I have encountered throughout the journey that have kept / … Continue reading So Much More
So many opinions, so little time, to see the individuality– what is yours, what is mine. Streamline the masses– tell them they’re wrong when the speak a different language or sing a different song. Opinions are not optional to the one who’s talking down in a condescending manner to the one who stands their ground. The proud man walks ahead and waits for the next … Continue reading Take A Look
Time is not on our side. The clock is ticking–counting down. Life began in a flash, and it ends the same way. We breathe in life, and exhale our demise. The heart and brain. The skeletal structure. All of the fibers and… the blood. The imagery gathered by the eyes that examine. The mind that translates. Tasting, touching and feeling; sensing what our … Continue reading The Short Distance
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