When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 3)

The introduction to meth was not something that I really enjoyed, but it was the new habit. On top of the everyday pot and cigarette habit, I had to have a little corner of a sandwich baggie filled with chemicals. It was the necessary way to go about the day because not having it meant withdrawal and hard crashes. I would go for days at … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 3)

When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 2)

I had found something that made life more interesting. Every time I smoked, reality became a beautiful, enhanced, calmed, humorous and lovely experience. I needed more of that within my life. The building sadness was starting to consume me more and more as I was spending time within a quiet little trailer with my grieving mother. She was going through her own measures of trouble. … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 2)

When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 1)

High school was the beginning of an absolute nightmare. When I began attending a very large building packed full of young men and women with competitive drive and talent in the early 1990’s, I viewed myself as independent. A bit different from most of those around me. There were so many directions I could go. I was fortunate to attend such an esteemed school. I … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 1)

Either / Or

I could be down about the dreadful realness of my life that is always there. I am the last of my family. I have no brothers or sisters and no biological children. Which is probably a good thing, knowing how mentally unstable my father’s family has been. So, the Brewster name is finished here. I won’t be spending Christmas with either one of my parents. … Continue reading Either / Or

Emptiness And The Empathetic Hiatus

I’m so tired from trying to save someone dear to me. Literally, I am drained to the max. There is a person who is sitting alone, everyday, chain smoking their cigarettes and being entertained by little animals. Contained in a little box. The delusions and lies, finger-pointing and blameless character keeps many from knocking at their door. I’m drained. Drained because of their failure to … Continue reading Emptiness And The Empathetic Hiatus

Alive And Well

My wife had asked me this past week to put up the Christmas tree and decorations over the weekend. It was nice spending a little time by myself reminiscing as I went through some of the decorations and memories. I found an ornament my grandmother had made. A gift ornament from 1985, several ornaments our kids had made throughout the last several years and strings … Continue reading Alive And Well