Today, I am turning another year older. Yay, me…I guess? My family has made arrangements for they and I to go to a local restaurant and celebrate my birthday tonight. They have preplanned, prepared and invited family and friends to come together and lift me up on this calendar day; the day I came into the world. Yet, I feel like it is just like … Continue reading Just Another Day
I had a really bad day yesterday. It was one of the worst days I’ve had in many weeks. I spent the day in my house doing a few things that I thought would bring me some kind of happiness, and for a few minutes during the tasks I suppose they did, but it was short-lived. I have been aching for many months over things … Continue reading Sorry, My Bad
This past Saturday night, my beloved dog of ten years died. He was probably one of the best dogs in the world. Of course, any dog owner would probably say the same about their own dog. He was a huge blessing to me, especially when I was all alone at an all-time low within my life. His comfort, warmth, playful personality and willingness to always … Continue reading The Pain That Heals
I have a dog that is dying. He is losing weight rapidly, will not eat and only drinks occasionally. His medications aren’t working. Last night, he cried for hours. A hard fall off of our outdoor steps left him with an injured spine several weeks ago, and now his whole body is deteriorating. The doctor does not know what to do at this point. Blood … Continue reading We Cry Out
The introduction to meth was not something that I really enjoyed, but it was the new habit. On top of the everyday pot and cigarette habit, I had to have a little corner of a sandwich baggie filled with chemicals. It was the necessary way to go about the day because not having it meant withdrawal and hard crashes. I would go for days at … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 3)
I had found something that made life more interesting. Every time I smoked, reality became a beautiful, enhanced, calmed, humorous and lovely experience. I needed more of that within my life. The building sadness was starting to consume me more and more as I was spending time within a quiet little trailer with my grieving mother. She was going through her own measures of trouble. … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 2)
High school was the beginning of an absolute nightmare. When I began attending a very large building packed full of young men and women with competitive drive and talent in the early 1990’s, I viewed myself as independent. A bit different from most of those around me. There were so many directions I could go. I was fortunate to attend such an esteemed school. I … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 1)
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