As I viewed myself and came to the conclusion of never being able to stop sinning, all the while knowing that it is impossible to stop, the uneasiness lifted. The lashes I was left scarred with from the whipping I had encountered within religion were just reminders of a once, very unhealthy relationship. The reasoning I was deciphering God with shifted within me. A very … Continue reading Fear Not (Part 3)
This time alone taught me many things. It was the first time I had fully trusted in the Lord’s plan for my life. I had nothing left to lose and nothing but so much to gain through His wisdom. Wisdom: that which began with that healthy fear that I was speaking of. So what did I now begin to see within that new definition of … Continue reading Fear Not (Part 2)
I have been thinking so much about fear lately. So many professing Christians seem to be consumed with it. Specifically, the fear that ensues when one’s pride stands in the way of the Lord’s peace. But honestly, I can see why so many live within a constant fear. Here is my personal testimony of why I once had. When I began to view the very … Continue reading Fear Not (Part 1)
I am a hungry dude! I sometimes feel as though I didn’t eat anything even after having a full plate of food. My diet has really changed within the last several years, and my exercise routine has as well. I blame the change in metabolism for my constant hunger. Going from pizza and fried chicken to baked chicken and salads has a way of disappointing, … Continue reading Of An Appetite Or Desire
The introduction to meth was not something that I really enjoyed, but it was the new habit. On top of the everyday pot and cigarette habit, I had to have a little corner of a sandwich baggie filled with chemicals. It was the necessary way to go about the day because not having it meant withdrawal and hard crashes. I would go for days at … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 3)
I had found something that made life more interesting. Every time I smoked, reality became a beautiful, enhanced, calmed, humorous and lovely experience. I needed more of that within my life. The building sadness was starting to consume me more and more as I was spending time within a quiet little trailer with my grieving mother. She was going through her own measures of trouble. … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 2)
High school was the beginning of an absolute nightmare. When I began attending a very large building packed full of young men and women with competitive drive and talent in the early 1990’s, I viewed myself as independent. A bit different from most of those around me. There were so many directions I could go. I was fortunate to attend such an esteemed school. I … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 1)
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