Of Our Making

Crafting things has been a thing, I’d say since around the age of three or four. I remember being inspired by a toy crane with a construction worker figurine as the operator during a visit to one of my dad’s friend’s homes. It was a toy his son had, and I remember the unique smell of the plastic figurine. It’s funny how an odor can … Continue reading Of Our Making

The Lost Worldlies

People sure do get themselves into some very strange situations. I had a friend who would collect junk, and it didn’t matter what kind of junk it was. I’m sure he is still doing it. What could he possibly do with a used toilet seat or hundreds of axe handles? I never saw the inside of his house, but I can only assume it is … Continue reading The Lost Worldlies

You Win

It has been in my head lately that most people have a desire to one up the universe. The natural flow of things is somewhat difficult to put into words in context to what I mean by the desire to get it over on the universe. Simplistically, I can say that humans need to feel comfortable while facing the unknown. I thought about this all … Continue reading You Win

Remaining

The plants around our home are now withered. When I was very young my grandfather and I once visited his Aunt Lena. She was a very frail old woman who lived by herself just east of my grandparents’ home. I remember a Spring–the sun was overhead, as I can remember the shadows of my grandpa and myself being cast upon the clay as he was … Continue reading Remaining

Do The Animals Compare Like Humans?

I sometimes hold the kitties to the mirror just to see what their reaction will be. It usually goes down in a way that is not like my own. A short glance is all that I see them do. Maybe they see themselves? Maybe they see another cat? Don’t know. I can’t ask, and we don’t speak the same language. The new way of seeing … Continue reading Do The Animals Compare Like Humans?

In A Time

The Vince Guaraldi Trio version of Christmas Time Is Here once made me shed tears of sorrow when hearing it. I lost my grandfather in December of 2000. He was the man who I looked at as my true father. It was tough watching him slowly wither during that winter. While being sad because of grandmother’s recent passing, as well as watching grandpa suffer from … Continue reading In A Time

Rubbish

Rubbish. That is what the post was last night. The Christian man pissed me off again last night. He is the one who I have been sort of obsessed with. He and I have had our differences over the years, and when I had shared the same religion, we always seemed to have a way of bunting heads. We were both set in our stubborn … Continue reading Rubbish

Absence Of Embrace

A calloused heart is what I saw in him. My father-in-law and I had a conversation about the man who murdered a family not far from our homes. We live in an area that is known for being neighborly, and the atmosphere surrounding our blocks seems to be picturesque, with a type of quietness that is inviting. Until, one night not long ago, a man … Continue reading Absence Of Embrace

I’m Really Powerless Without Faith?

Wondering why it is so hard for people to accept the way things are outside of what they can change, and why they selfishly want “God” to change it, the following thoughts consume me. What happened in the evolution of man? What convinced the world of needing a god with whiskers in the sky to look to for comforting? It seems to be a terrible … Continue reading I’m Really Powerless Without Faith?

Sweet Resilience

Hidden inside the box, life was much easier.  In ’97-’98 I was living with my father, but I think I began to notice those things that struck me as odd before moving in. The visits to his dumpy duplex in the middle of a very run-down part of the city always seemed to put me in a peculiar state. Pulling up to the grey and … Continue reading Sweet Resilience

Falling Back

The progression of the setting sun really had me realize just how much truth there is to only having the present moment, and all other moments only being in the thoughts we have. Last night was a great experience here in the Ohio valley. The golden Autumn hue resided upon all of the magnificent colors that we find throughout Indiana. The reds and rusts are … Continue reading Falling Back

Ashes To Ashes

The life I once lived has a way of creeping back into my life when it is addressed by others. It is probably safe to say that all people have parts of their lives that they would rather forget about. A brief conversation with someone I love touched on things from days that are no longer here. Yet, like most, it was clear that the … Continue reading Ashes To Ashes

Ego Of Man

If any form can emanate love, whether it be animal, human with any belief or religion he or she adheres to, or even the forms of nature we see in things such as the Lotus flower, then why is Christianity exclusive? The ego of man and his Church does not equal the message of Jesus and his Ecclesia! Continue reading Ego Of Man

Thinking Of You

“You have to take the good with the bad.” I remember a friend of mine saying this many years ago. There is no telling what the situation was at the time that served as the reason why he had said it to me, but the simplistic truth of his statement still resonates. There was a big life-altering situation that occurred last night. I sat outside … Continue reading Thinking Of You

Mr. Emotion

The sheer ridiculousness of the human mind has been the topic this evening. Of course, the choice to read through WordPress followed sites led me to the writing here tonight. By choice, I’m unloading some harbored thoughts. It helps to get things out once in a while. Since no one else is here, and since the keyboard is, I am going to share my thoughts … Continue reading Mr. Emotion

Lights

It was another arduous work week, but the end of Friday was an enjoyable time out on the many streets within the city. I brought the bike with me and cycled for just shy of two hours. Today, it is being felt. The noticeable healing process has slowed in the current run of my decay, but yet I still find myself being in much better … Continue reading Lights

Blind To Isness

The happening of the stars The happening of the blue in the sky we do observe with our optical view The happening of the heart The happening of the mind that scurries about continuously to judge what it will find The happening of an ego The happening of its lie The one that insists one must suffer before he or she must die The happening … Continue reading Blind To Isness

Oh, God!

It occurred to me today that writing is just another form of identifying myself. At this time, even though I recognize the blog as an extension of my ego, I will keep the platform up and running. Although, it is not something that I absolutely must have like it had been at first. Just a few years ago the belief of needing a place to … Continue reading Oh, God!

Your Calm Beneath

In hindsight, the quest for understanding God had really screwed me up. My mother and I had a treacherous conversation the other day. It sometimes ends up being a disaster, and it’s usually my fault. It is difficult for me to listen to a miserable and repetitive cycle of thought patterns that are conveyed in the same series of words nearly every time I meet … Continue reading Your Calm Beneath

Blog That Ego

Who am I to draw attention to a narrative I call, “Mine?” An emphasis I present for someone else to compare to and compete with… A voice within, dying to speak louder and longer than… Maybe a 👍 to stroke the ego! Perhaps an agreement to boost the confidence! Am I the golden one with finger outstretched, pointing proudly, while the three of no blame … Continue reading Blog That Ego

Mask of Mind

The watcher witnessed the children at play, and he wondered how a loving God could send them to a place called Hell. He took off his mask for a moment, and he felt the sun’s warmth cover his very being. The watcher closed his eyes and thought of his own child; no longer among the other children. Gone away. Under a mound of earth. No … Continue reading Mask of Mind

The Enigma Of Being Comfortably Uncertain

There was a truth that presented itself this afternoon on my way home from the workplace. Maybe it was more of a collection of truths? As any reader could probably gather when visiting the blog and especially the last several posts, my focus has shifted to the acknowledgment of just how much I identify myself with mind: the voice that never stops chattering within me. … Continue reading The Enigma Of Being Comfortably Uncertain

True Value

In a recent visit to an old acquaintance’s website, I was again left with thoughts of inferiority and superiority swirling around within me. The religious blog, specifically that which is built around Christian Apologetics, is sometimes a place I visit just to see if the writer is still stroking his own ego. You see, the writer and I once had a go-around which ultimately led … Continue reading True Value

In Attendance

It goes against the very grain of me to live in the Now. How often it has been throughout my life to go off into a time that only exists within my head; in memories of another now. The times when I had or went without. Times when things were not as good, or maybe better. Forgetting and most times ignoring those past times as … Continue reading In Attendance

Trustworthiness

I saw the universal truth of every living thing within my recent experiences. There is something outside of my work routine at the place of employment that pulls me into the natural world outdoors. For the last few weeks I have diligently been working on our landscaping. It is satisfying for me to spruce up the flower beds, as well as beneficial when putting out … Continue reading Trustworthiness

As It Is

Observation is a beautiful tool that I have been using as far back as I can remember. The world was so awesome when I was a child. I remember spending much of my time alone while exploring the safe neighborhood on the outskirts of the city. My grandparent’s home was on a street serving in part of the framing of a friendly community. All neighbors … Continue reading As It Is

Inner Stillness Of Its Song

The beautiful birdsongs of morning A stillness in the light The comfort of a peaceful mind after a rest in night An easy Sunday ante meridiem Calm like lake of glass Space between present ponders No future or past Meditation and observation No judgment of events No worry of things to come No passion for what ego resents Too much on my plate come tomorrow … Continue reading Inner Stillness Of Its Song

The Greatest Addiction

To free myself of the addiction of overthinking is in the works. I’ve spent some time going over the past few years of posts within this blog of mine in recent weeks. Writing about the experiences I had throughout time seemed to help me process the inner frustrations and insecurities. Being transparent, publicly, served as a therapy to help me identify those issues causing my … Continue reading The Greatest Addiction

A Trace

I sat and thought for a moment about those people in time… I remember meeting up with S—- while walking home from school some year during high school. I maybe had met him only once, but that single time we had shared together had its significance, enough for me to say, ‘What’s up, man?’ We rode in his mother’s car, I do remember. We all … Continue reading A Trace

Evergreen and Pal

The beginning of Spring has a way of motivating me, providing ideal temperatures and tranquility through the gift of sensory. Saturday is my day of rest. Being lazy is the goal. Giving it my all throughout the week and then resting on the seventh day is just something that eventually took hold over the past several years. The routine is pretty standard: My wife brings … Continue reading Evergreen and Pal

Before You

What is sad to see is the things we find; the negative in our worlds viewed through conditioned mind. We are victims or victorious, which ever one we say. Whatever condition we believe has made us this way. We fight the losing battle within ourselves—without end. We look to God when inner-strength is lost— a Creator we can’t comprehend. Praying for relief from the hell … Continue reading Before You

Restricts

Today has been a strange one. My family and I had a good evening around the fire in our backyard last night. Our oldest boy, only fifteen, has an understanding of society that is beyond anything my wife or I had known at his age. He and I had a discussion about the control that people have come to accept, and even love. The discussion … Continue reading Restricts

Eyes To See

The only thing I knew at the time was the fact that my soul was in need. The beginning of the past week was like most of the previous ones. A new work week had me longing for the weekend well before noon on Monday. I was prepared for what the beautiful forecast on Saturday would deliver. Yesterday morning, I packed up a few things—not … Continue reading Eyes To See

Not Knowing How

The raw truth of our matters aren’t always what we desire to confront. I sat in front of a pulpit today and listened to our old church pastor lay it out for us: the familiar talk about the love of Jesus accompanied by pastor’s personal bashing of how sinful everyone is. We were at a relative’s funeral service in a church, having to sit through … Continue reading Not Knowing How

A Sound of Silence

The memory of a large Conch shell that used to lay upon the floor at my grandparent’s home was the spark to the flame of wistful homesickness. I had the piercing longing come over me as I noticed an image of a similar shell within the newsfeed during my morning routine in front of this laptop screen. The waking mind is open to wavering mentation, … Continue reading A Sound of Silence

Yeah…

At 2:59 a.m., I sit a type out the truth of my life. It is not of any use to anyone but me, but being able to do so helps. I’m tired. My back has been hurting for the last eighteen or so hours and I am up way too early. I have to work all day and, to be honest, I would call in … Continue reading Yeah…

God For Sale

I’m beginning to understand God a bit more via the works and beliefs of a delusional religious man and his faithful followers. Unfortunately, a self-proclaimed “prophet” has been in and out of my interests as of late. I was introduced to Curt Landry through a friend. The friend was forwarding me video links a pushy co-worker had been sending him. He and I could do … Continue reading God For Sale

Beatdown

The following is a personal testimony. This testimony is intentionally being placed within categories that Christians frequently post, with the intent of many of them realizing how I personally view many of the writings found within. I will start by saying that I will be direct and blunt within my testimony. Honesty is the best policy. With that, I will not be pointing fingers directly … Continue reading Beatdown

Pruned

As I peered into the back yard yesterday through the basement door window, thoughts took shape. A certain epiphany, in connection with the purpose of my place in objective and subjective reality, sparked a chain of bewilderment. As I studied the recently butchered Maple–the trunk left, with branches cut away–and the memory of its once, regal brawn, I thought about my place here. We took … Continue reading Pruned

Tidings

It’s not difficult to look around and take this life of mine for granted. I sit this morning in an easy chair and observe all these accumulated objects that fulfill some kind of undefined necessity. It has me thinking about the days when things were much different. Throughout the many years, things have come and gone. Objects, people, places and thoughts. Even typing, I look … Continue reading Tidings

Ready To Fire

It hurts to see what I don’t like about myself in others. When a realization paralyzes me to the point of having to stop for a moment and collect myself, it truly hits a nerve. The other day, I had an experience that took me back to an earlier time in my life. A single derogatory word was thrown into the atmosphere, intending to make … Continue reading Ready To Fire

Hubris

They all believe they are correct.  As winter is approaching, I am spending more time indoors. We have been blessed with some unseasonably warm weather here in the Ohio Valley, but the annual transition to consistently cooler weather is beginning. It is bringing me to more of the indoor piddling and reading that I typically spend my time doing during the cold months. I also … Continue reading Hubris

Guess I’m Not, ‘Cause Someone Said So

I have a stalker! What an ignorant man I must be! The guy on the other end (the stalker) must think that I have no way of knowing when he has viewed my posts. Newsflash: I see you! It’s unbelievable how wrapped up we can become in others. Having means to do so has increased tenfold via means of the wonderful world of technological advances. … Continue reading Guess I’m Not, ‘Cause Someone Said So

Mud Pie

For me, being patient is developing by observing others whom are not. My word, the mudslinging is definitely going on within the world! Even if you are completely oblivious to the political debates here within the states, you don’t have to travel far to see how common deliberate condemnation is. Unfortunately, it’s built into our human nature. Struggling with demons of the past was the … Continue reading Mud Pie

It All

Wouldn’t it be nice to remove it all? To take all of the pure filth we are exposed to each day and throw it away? To recognize the dumb stuff we do to fit in to a society of competition and comparison– now so, more than ever, with all of the social media and misinformation– and see that we are really only competing with ourselves? … Continue reading It All

Diary Entry

I woke up. It was enough for me this morning to just be grateful for waking. Taken for granted, most days. Yesterday had its own worries and blessings, and I am assured today will be the same. She has a new diagnosis. She read about the devastating effects the shit could very well have on her. At worst, fatal. Watching her lock herself in the … Continue reading Diary Entry

Dumpsite

I was taking a stroll through the world’s landfill last night. A giant hill on the north side of the neighboring city is where all of our garbage is taken. Trash is dumped there, and maintenance workers cover it with dirt. The mountain has been building for many years, and it almost mimics a scene one may find in the Appalachians. I remember visiting the … Continue reading Dumpsite

Beyond Compare

When we display ourselves on our own shelves, what do we suggest? Me statements, I statements… ‘Yes, I must confess! Part of me wants to love you, I really do, but my ways are best. It’s not fair, yeah…I don’t care. Life and people have screwed me! Self absorbed? Well, you know who I’m really for… I am the best.’ When we display ourselves on … Continue reading Beyond Compare