The Great Flood

Drenched. So immensely saturated by the things that hang from me. Losing strength. So much work, so little time. “A break?” ‘………..no.’ I must build the wall before the levee breaks. But, this weight! Clinging like a parasite to the host, slowly draining the life………from….me. Oh God, slow me down! Stop this downpour long enough for me to catch that much needed break….. Oh, look. … Continue reading The Great Flood

When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 3)

The introduction to meth was not something that I really enjoyed, but it was the new habit. On top of the everyday pot and cigarette habit, I had to have a little corner of a sandwich baggie filled with chemicals. It was the necessary way to go about the day because not having it meant withdrawal and hard crashes. I would go for days at … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 3)

When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 2)

I had found something that made life more interesting. Every time I smoked, reality became a beautiful, enhanced, calmed, humorous and lovely experience. I needed more of that within my life. The building sadness was starting to consume me more and more as I was spending time within a quiet little trailer with my grieving mother. She was going through her own measures of trouble. … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 2)

When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 1)

High school was the beginning of an absolute nightmare. When I began attending a very large building packed full of young men and women with competitive drive and talent in the early 1990’s, I viewed myself as independent. A bit different from most of those around me. There were so many directions I could go. I was fortunate to attend such an esteemed school. I … Continue reading When I Compare Myself To Others (Part 1)